No way, no how are you going to get everyone in the game to play by YOUR rules. Though I share your aggravation, there are times that I just feel like a good furball.
Best solution is to STAY AWAY from the big fights. Grab your squaddies and plan a strategy to attack a base where nothings going on.
Most likely, those who just go up for the kill wont bother you, they'll be too busy furballing. The people who show up to thwart your attack are more likely to understand and appreciate the full content of the game.