16 yr old teen lost at sea

[Dawger]

Who here has kids that would let them drive solo at 16 but not sail solo at 17?

[fudgums]

Who here has kids that would let them drive solo at 16 but not sail solo at 17?

little different when its around the world.

[crazyivan]

I sail a sunfish, now thats some hard work.

10yr olds can sail a Sunfish, pretty much like a laser. Flip it over and you can reride it.  Yeah comparing a 7ft. boat in the river, or lake. To a 40ft. sailboat in 30ft. seas, in the middle of the indean ocean. Glad she's been found ok. Sad story turned good. Iv'e heard theres a lot of  Sailing Expertens in Lincohn, Nebraska.

[hlbly]

That sounds, neurotic.  I'm sorry, but that makes you sound like a control freak- I could see if you were living in some sort of horrid situation with drugs being found everywhere and all that jazz.  It doesn't seem to be that way though; it seems to me that you are warping these kids by having them live in a police state.  If you force yourself into every facet of their existence, then they will have issues later on.

Here's a good example:

Parent invades every inch of kid's life->
Kid sees parent as overbearing/raider (as in raiding everything the child has to think about)->
Kid has three options->
1.)Accept it and move on with no problems
2.)Take offence and rebel
3.)See option 1 but with problems such as neuroticism, vicarious existence (goes to other control extreme), and does everything that you said no to

Anecdotally, the looming presence of a "big brother" watching everything you do is just creepy- where does it all end?  If you fear not rifling through a MySpace or Facebook, a secret keylogger shouldn't be a stretch.  Or perhaps a screen-capture bot that will constantly stream their browsing?  Or how about a(some) camera(s) in their room to watch what they do in there?  Heck, even a door shouldn't be allowed!

To conclude my point, all things in moderation- Privacy, just like Risk, is a binary function or a zero-sum game, both parties can benefit from doing things in degrees.

-Penguin

Pretty much wrong on all accounts friend . I have 4 kids . My 2 girls 'i was a part of their life to the Nth degree . The oldest is a microbiologist , studies microbial life forms and under sea vents where life is based on heat not light . I can barely understand anything she says about her work . My next is in her second year of college both are well adjusted 20 somethings with goals stable social life's and the biggest trouble either ever saw was curfew violations returning from baby sitting jobs while living on Army posts . Both of them faced routine snoop jobs into their rooms unscheduled inspection of PC's and I had to meet their friends before they could associate with them . I read what I wanted/needed to . I checked their work when they spent the night away from home . I also tried to meet the friends parents , if I was put off in any way about it . They could not associate with them . When I was told they would be somewhere . I did spot checks . They never knew when it would happen . The only people who ever made noise in protest were their friends who's parents didn't keep an eye on them .  My son has lived with is mother since we divorced when he was 6 . He is now 16 and is going to juvenile court for burglary next month . He lost an entire years credits because of attendance this year . His case worker came over to meet me the other day . He told me he would recommend that my son move in with me if I could give him a plan to keep my son in school next year . He wanted an answer 2 weeks before the hearing . My son will be made a ward of the court no matter what . He lies steals and uses drugs .I told the case worker I could guarantee he would miss no more then 2 days due to skipping until he graduates if he lives with me . Because the first time it happens , I will go to school every day with him , until he proves he can go with out me . Once I feel he can be trusted because he can't take the embarrassment anymore . I will give him one chance to do it . If he fails . He will have me with him every school day until he graduates . My wife followed your philosophy plus she went wild after we divorced . He was unsupervised WAY too much ! The best of kids make bad decisions if unsupervised , a 16 yo does not think like an adult . They make decisions with out regard to long term results . The level of guidance ink shows his kids is not neurosis , it is love . Trust me what he does is more work and much harder to do then the other way is . He is a man that takes responsibility for his actions . He is merely protecting the ones he loves . He isn't looking for a village to do it for him . I imagine he doesn't trust the village to have the love and concern for his kids that he does . Far too many villages contain a disproportionate number of village idiots for a man like inks taste . BTW if I may ask how old are you ? Do you have any kids of your own ?

[ink]

Pretty much wrong on all accounts friend . I have 4 kids . My 2 girls 'i was a part of their life to the Nth degree . The oldest is a microbiologist , studies microbial life forms and under sea vents where life is based on heat not light . I can barely understand anything she says about her work . My next is in her second year of college both are well adjusted 20 somethings with goals stable social life's and the biggest trouble either ever saw was curfew violations returning from baby sitting jobs while living on Army posts . Both of them faced routine snoop jobs into their rooms unscheduled inspection of PC's and I had to meet their friends before they could associate with them . I read what I wanted/needed to . I checked their work when they spent the night away from home . I also tried to meet the friends parents , if I was put off in any way about it . They could not associate with them . When I was told they would be somewhere . I did spot checks . They never knew when it would happen . The only people who ever made noise in protest were their friends who's parents didn't keep an eye on them .  My son has lived with is mother since we divorced when he was 6 . He is now 16 and is going to juvenile court for burglary next month . He lost an entire years credits because of attendance this year . His case worker came over to meet me the other day . He told me he would recommend that my son move in with me if I could give him a plan to keep my son in school next year . He wanted an answer 2 weeks before the hearing . My son will be made a ward of the court no matter what . He lies steals and uses drugs .I told the case worker I could guarantee he would miss no more then 2 days due to skipping until he graduates if he lives with me . Because the first time it happens , I will go to school every day with him , until he proves he can go with out me . Once I feel he can be trusted because he can't take the embarrassment anymore . I will give him one chance to do it . If he fails . He will have me with him every school day until he graduates . My wife followed your philosophy plus she went wild after we divorced . He was unsupervised WAY too much ! The best of kids make bad decisions if unsupervised , a 16 yo does not think like an adult . They make decisions with out regard to long term results . The level of guidance ink shows his kids is not neurosis , it is love . Trust me what he does is more work and much harder to do then the other way is . He is a man that takes responsibility for his actions . He is merely protecting the ones he loves . He isn't looking for a village to do it for him . I imagine he doesn't trust the village to have the love and concern for his kids that he does . Far too many villages contain a disproportionate number of village idiots for a man like inks taste . BTW if I may ask how old are you ? Do you have any kids of your own ?

 

I truly hope things work out for your boy

[Grind]

Sailng - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQeqmNbA2Hs&feature=related   

Depends on the kid.... one size does not fit all.

Almost 50 years old with 3 kids. girl 30, boy 27, boy 21, 4 grandchildren.  Its all about choices... even people from the roughest of backgrounds are taught right from wrong... good from evil.... right from the very beginning of their lives.  You love your kids, show them the path, but in the end it is they who decide what and who they want to be. Of course I should add IMHO.

 

[68Wooley]

I'm confused how keeping your kids straight growing up in a rough area - whilst praiseworthy - qualifies you to judge whether a 16 year old is able to sail around the world. Particularly given - and I'm going out on a limb here - I assume the majority of you have little or no experience of sailing on which to make a judgment. 'Monday Morning Quarterbacks' comes to mind.

Seeing as how we're throwing opinions out though, some of you sound like overbearing parents from hell. You are, of course, entitled to raise your kids in whatever way you see fit, but thank God you weren't my parents.

[Jayhawk]

Every kid is different, but like these boards, it is often the loudest that can shape the communities opionion on a subject.  I don't know the girl and I can't make a judgment on her or her parents decision.  However, in this situation, it sounds like there was only so much this girl had control over and has done everything she is suppose to do when this happens.

Either way, I highly doubt this incident will scare her away from sailing and I bet we'll be hearing about her completed journey in the months or years ahead.  She knows the risk, especially after this incident, and she's got an interesting life ahead of her.

[Babalonian]

Why do people climb mountains?

Because to to 'some' people it seems the simplest way to see what is on the other side?

[Vulcan]

The simple fact she decided to sail in the southern oceans reveals neither her nor her parents are competent. We're well into winter, and have had a series of nasty storms up off Antarctica for the last couple of months.

I hope the SAR operation bills the parents to recover costs tbh.

[Saxman]

Yeah, it's not like people haven't been braving storms in the Southern Ocean for the last 500 years or anything. 

[flight17]

And fyi, there is no way in hell a 16 year old has enough experience to do a solo trip around the world.

how would u know, do you know her? do you know her skill levels? or are you just sterotyping 16 yr olds because of the fact that they are 16?

if you have skill you have it, it doesnt matter what your age is and whatever it is in. Or else you wouldnt have a 12 year old (i believe) qualified for the PGA tour, or a 16 year old being drafted into the major leagues. Or how about the kids that is only 15 i think who just climbed the top of everest and called his mom?


also, this girl has been sailing since she was born. this is a sailing family. Her brother, holds the record currently for youngest solo when he was 17. She is only a year younger and is trying to beat him. Obviously both children and parents know what they are doing since you just dont get 2 random children from the same family going around the world on no experience.

[grizz441]

She is only a year younger and is trying to beat him.

Bingo.

[flight17]

Both of them faced routine snoop jobs into their rooms unscheduled inspection of PC's and I had to meet their friends before they could associate with them . I read what I wanted/needed to . I checked their work when they spent the night away from home . I also tried to meet the friends parents , if I was put off in any way about it . They could not associate with them .

so you chose ethnic discrimination based on sterotypes?

 My son has lived with is mother since we divorced when he was 6 . He is now 16 and is going to juvenile court for burglary next month . He lost an entire years credits because of attendance this year . His case worker came over to meet me the other day . He told me he would recommend that my son move in with me if I could give him a plan to keep my son in school next year . He wanted an answer 2 weeks before the hearing . My son will be made a ward of the court no matter what . He lies steals and uses drugs .I told the case worker I could guarantee he would miss no more then 2 days due to skipping until he graduates if he lives with me . Because the first time it happens , I will go to school every day with him , until he proves he can go with out me . Once I feel he can be trusted because he can't take the embarrassment anymore . I will give him one chance to do it . If he fails . He will have me with him every school day until he graduates . My wife followed your philosophy plus she went wild after we divorced . He was unsupervised WAY too much ! The best of kids make bad decisions if unsupervised , a 16 yo does not think like an adult . They make decisions with out regard to long term results . The level of guidance ink shows his kids is not neurosis , it is love .

ever think that your son had to go through alot more than what your girls did? he was 6 years old whn you split, they, by the sound of your first paragraph were in HS already and mature. you going through their computers doesnt do anything, it just means they hide it better. By the sound of it, you werent in your sons life after the split, did you ever think that was a part of it?

Its funny how i remember being 16 and yet never getting into trouble and doing what was right when my parents did nothing like what you did.

[flight17]

Bingo.

so you still dont have a valid point. did you ever think she has more talent then him and was able to pick it up easier than him?

take this for instance, it takes a normal American child 13 years to get through Schooling plus another 4-8 for college. But yet there are 10 year olds who have already graduated college? did age make a difference then?

or now lets talk about driving as it requires alot of mental thinking and some skills like sailing does.

whats the difference between someone who can get their permit at 15 and a child who has to wait till 16? if there was any statistical number that showed the kids who got it at 15 were less safe than kids at 16, the government wouldnt allow them to get it that young especially when its all about teen driving in schools nowadays.