I’m not saying the mother-in-law’s ugly but she went to see that film the Elephant Man and the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
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AN anagram of mother-in-law is woman Hitler.
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HOW many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
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WHAT’S the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture?
The vulture waits until you’re dead before it eats your heart out.
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DID you hear about the man who threw his mother-in-law into the lion’s den at the zoo?
He’s being sued by the SPCA for cruelty to animals.
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TWO cannibals were sitting down eating lunch.
One says to the other: “You know, I just can’t stand my mother-in-law.”
The other replies: “Just put her to the side and eat the mash.”
MY mother-in-law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her but he didn’t have enough petrol.
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I ALWAYS know when it’s the mother-in-law knocking at the door because the mice start throwing themselves on the traps.
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A MAN finds a lamp, rubs it, and a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have two wishes ? but whatever he gets, his mother-in-law will get double. The man thinks for a while and says: “First I’d like a million Dollars. Then beat me half to death.”
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BEHIND every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
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WHAT’S the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
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THE doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said: “Can I stay here for a few days?”
I said: “Of course you can.” And shut the door in her face.
