We agreed we are not going to fly into a rage, she is not getting shipped off to some military school or intervention. Other then trying to be rational in our response, I'm really at a loss as to what to do. My first thought is to get her into some karate, etc classes to help self-esteem, focus her energy into something sort of UFC.
sounds like you started off the right way with being rational and not going crazy
I won't tell anyone how to be a parent as I don't have much practice at it myself yet
I will just say this
Although I don't smoke anymore, from age 16-28 I smoked weed every single day. I don't drink, have never liked the affect, but weed has always been my way to relax and take off some of the pressure from a stressful world.
I have always had a good job. I have never been arrested. I do sports and have had an active life outside of being a stoner
I have always had a girlfriend, and now have a family of my own. What I'm trying to say, is smoking weed doesn't automatically mean someone is a screwup, a failure, etc.
IT'S LIKE ANY OTHER DRUG - alcohol and cigarettes included. It can be misused, it can be bad if you get overly dependent on it. It is a FACT that it is a much less harmful drug to both the body, and to society, than alcohol.
Your daughter is growing up. She might have decided she didn't like weed on her own, given time. Don't read too much into it and start thinking she has low self-esteem or something. It's normal teenage behaviour tbh.