Getting rid of my demon - whole computer - runs this game max at 60fps

[jimson]

Sounds good man, keep it slow and steady and don't rush it.

[Getback]

Yes, Im starting this of course with 2 kids I'm shooting for twice a month, minimum of 1.  We haven't went out on a date in 3 or 4 years so we both have neglected each other.  I realised when she left how bad I was at being a husband.

She started calling me baby Sunday some, I always say baby do you need something, or have a great day baby love you.  She was returning those words Sunday so I think it's starting to come around.  Shes not showing she loves me but deep down I know she realises she made a mistake leaving, just not willing tell me that yet. 

This is all good. There's some healing that needs to happen.

[TnDep]

Update 04-28-12

Yesterday we went to huntsville, al to eat at Rossies for my birthday.  On the way down there we talked more then we have in the past 10 years, talked about her work, my work about an accident I worked on Wednesday where a female ended up losing her life and also another crash I worked yesterday of an overturned log truck losing 60000 lbs of logs everywhere.  We went to Old Navy to get my birthday gift and also got our daughter some clothes.  First trip that we've taken out of town together, its hard to tell what a womens thinking but I just can't believe that were becoming such good friends again or on the road to be and she said Tuesday she still dont have feelings for me.  Given that she didnt move back in til the 15 and Tuesday was 1 week and 2 days, I'm thinking its going to take a month or two for her to build her love back up for me.  I just can't see her leaving me forever and her kids 15 days out of the month when were getting along so good, probably better then we ever have.  I'm guessing even if shes not saying it, that she is developing feelings for me again right now.  Yesterday morning, I run her bath water and done all the other stuff I've been doing, surely she likes the new me when I think of her before myself.  Thoughts?

[BERN1]

flowers are nice ,she needs conversation,she needs you selling the computer is a great start

[Flench]

TnDep I see you are playing it smart . Happy Birthday my friend . I have been to Rossies .

[The Fugitive]

This June will mark my 30th year as husband and wife with my lovely lady.

I've read this thread as it's unfolded, as well as being in on a conversation at work with a few "younger" guys talking about their marriages. In all of the cases everyone is always talking "me", "I", "she", "the bitc.." well you get the idea. When it comes to marriage there is none of that. It is "we", and "us". Didn't they say something about "uniting as one" when you got married?

TnDep, it's nice that your doing all these things, but it is what you should have been doing from day one. Also, you shouldn't be expecting anything to come from it.... "I'm thinking its going to take a month or two for her to build her love back up for me". Put that out of your mind. if it happens, great, if it doesn't thats the way it is. You should be doing the things your doing because its the right thing to do NOT because it should win her back.

My boss use to give me crap for helping my wife, or having to check with her before I made a decision about OT, called me henpecked. This coming from a guy who's been married and divorced 3 times and now lives with a Labrador retriever  I call it respecting my wife. I have no problem bailing from my game if she needs me to do something. On the other hand she respects me enough not to ask me to unless she really needs me.

The point is, your on the right path, but get it out of your mind your doing it for her. What your doing is how it should be period. It's like a diet, you can't eat good and exercise for 4 months and get to your goal weight and then go back to eating what ever you want and lying around on the couch. It's a life style change your making, and one you should have made when you slide that ring on her finger. If you can't live with that change for the rest of your life, your not going to make it. 

[jimson]

she said Tuesday she still dont have feelings for me.

If that was a response, well you sure should not be asking her questions like this.

You can't put a timetable on it either, just take it as it comes.

[TnDep]

This June will mark my 30th year as husband and wife with my lovely lady.

I've read this thread as it's unfolded, as well as being in on a conversation at work with a few "younger" guys talking about their marriages. In all of the cases everyone is always talking "me", "I", "she", "the bitc.." well you get the idea. When it comes to marriage there is none of that. It is "we", and "us". Didn't they say something about "uniting as one" when you got married?

TnDep, it's nice that your doing all these things, but it is what you should have been doing from day one. Also, you shouldn't be expecting anything to come from it.... "I'm thinking its going to take a month or two for her to build her love back up for me". Put that out of your mind. if it happens, great, if it doesn't thats the way it is. You should be doing the things your doing because its the right thing to do NOT because it should win her back.

My boss use to give me crap for helping my wife, or having to check with her before I made a decision about OT, called me henpecked. This coming from a guy who's been married and divorced 3 times and now lives with a Labrador retriever  I call it respecting my wife. I have no problem bailing from my game if she needs me to do something. On the other hand she respects me enough not to ask me to unless she really needs me.

The point is, your on the right path, but get it out of your mind your doing it for her. What your doing is how it should be period. It's like a diet, you can't eat good and exercise for 4 months and get to your goal weight and then go back to eating what ever you want and lying around on the couch. It's a life style change your making, and one you should have made when you slide that ring on her finger. If you can't live with that change for the rest of your life, your not going to make it. 

completely understand this, and yes I am committed to this new lifestyle.  One flesh is far from where we been but where I want us to go, shes got a hard time letting go of the past and moving forward.  I will continue to do the things I'm doing for my family and if and when she says I still want out, theres nothing I can do, until that point I going to continue to show my love for her and the kids.

If that was a response, well you sure should not be asking her questions like this.

You can't put a timetable on it either, just take it as it comes.

I didn't ask her Tuesday we went to a friends house to see there baby and then to Shoneys to eat.  That night she said what bed are you sleeping in and to just try to get a laugh out of her I said whatever bed your sleeping in, and she didn't take it as a joke.  I was just trying to get a laugh and got a conversation. 

I will, great advise

[guncrasher]

tndep, I think you are the one who is having a hard time letting go of the past.  may i suggest some counseling for both of you.  and if she doest want to go then I encourage you to go yourself.

I hope it works for you, but if it does work or it doesnt you should still talk to a counselor  about it.  if only to get some guidance on how to handle what is going on with your life.


semp

[ink]

I am glad it is working out for ya....me and the wife, just about split up....I thought it was gonna happen, but for some reason we are still working on it....

I hope you guys get through this is can move on.