Jokes

[Nomde]

Have a Joke, post it...
Try to keep it somewhat anonymous, so as to not piss off anyone specific... unless it's about yourself 

A 109 pilot, a sheep, and a ewe walk into a bar. The sheep and ewe come out staggering, and the 109 pilot comes out with his pants around his ankles.
A woman passing by asks the 109 pilot, why did you do that to those pour animals? The 109 pilot replies… the animals hell, I’m still trying to get this horn outta my ars! 

A variation on a classic 
Three P51 Pilots found themselves before St. Peter.
St. Peter says “Welcome my children, tell me your sin and you may enter the gates of Heaven.”
The first Pilot came forward and said, “ I have sinned with my hands”.
St. Peter replied “Wash your hands in this bowl, and you may enter.”
Just then, the 3rd Pilot cut in line in front of the 2nd.
Surprised, St. Peter asked the 3rd Pilot, “My child, why have you done this?”
To which the 3rd Pilot replied… “I want to wash my mouth out, before he sticks his ars in it…”

How many Luftwaffe Pilots does it take to down a P47? Depends on how much porn they’re downloading while jerking the stick around. 

What did Frenchy say to Nomde while diving past him to the deck? Check 6, btw… thanks for clearing mine. 

How does anyone manage to fly to P38? 
1.   Grab stick and yank it uncontrollably
2.   Flail rudder peddles back n forth while giggling hysterically
3.   Alt-tab back into game sending lesbian porn to background
4.   Grab the yoke, bank hard, throttle back, shoot.
 

[VonMessa]

I'd laugh, but it may earn me a rule #2 or #4 or something...






Ahh, what the hell, you only live once.                      

[deadstikmac]

Dolby , Huskie and Krieg are sitting in a car.... Who is driving?














The cops!

[VonMessa]

 

[bozon]

Nomde are you back?
With Frenchy and Ammo it's 2007 all over again 


 

[Slate]

The German air controllers at  Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot.  They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them.  So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") after landing:

  Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway."

  Ground: "Guten morgen!  You will taxi to your  gate!"

  The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

  Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

  Ground (with some arrogant  impatience): "Speedbird 206, you have never flown to Frankfurt before?!?"

  Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In  another type of Boeing... but I didn't stop."



    Newton's Law states that what goes up, must come down. Our Company Commander's Law states that what goes up and comes down had damn well better be able to go back up again.

— sign in the Operations Office of the 187th Assault Helicopter Company, Tay Ninh, Viet Nam, 1971.

[VonMessa]

 

 

[Volron]

 

[pipz]

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks.."what's with the long face?" Hahhahahahahhahaha  Cant tell that one enough!

[GhostCDB]

 

One time at band camp. . . .

[Reaper90]

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks.."what's with the long face?" Hahhahahahahhahaha  Cant tell that one enough!

Two guys walk into a bar.......... the third guy ducks!

 


wait.......


 

[68ZooM]

2 blondes are walking down the road one was on the north side of the road the other was on the south side of the road, the blonde on the south side of the road yells to the blonde on the north side " excuse me but how do you get to the other side "   the blonde on the north side of the road says you're already on the other side..........

[Latrobe]

Isn't Frenchy just the best squaddie ever? 

[Meatwad]

[Dichotomy]

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any duck food?”

The bartender says, “No.”

The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any duck food?”

The bartender says, “No.”

The next day, the duck walks into the bar again and asks the bartender, “Do you have any duck food?”

The bartender says, “No, I don’t have any duck food, and if you ask me again, I’m going to nail your little webbed feet to the bar.”

The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any nails?”

The bartender says, “No.”

“Good,” says the duck, “Do you have any duck food?"

very few of my jokes are 'nice' enough for this board