"i keep running toejam over and over in my head."
This absolutely SUCKS! I feel ya! Sure, go over and over in your head...as long as you dont start thinking you could have changed things! Trust me, I know. Seems that Heroin is the force "Stronger than blood"! My Daughter got wrapped up in this BS! Its been a hard time, but I eventually saw it for what it was. I didnt mess up THAT BAD and once this stuff gets into your life...its all you care about. I beat myself over the head, the last 3 years. what did I miss/NOT DO, why didnt I see warning signs/or act on the ones I found... ect.! ITS NOT YOUR'S OR ANYONE ELSES FAULT(pill mill Dr.s, big Pharma pushing sales ect..they could be somewhat blamed)! If you only knew, how I want to declare war on her dealers! She had 2 kids, so they are my focus....FOR NOW!
"Vengeance is mine!" sayeth the Lord??????????yayaya He is on the clock! Hopefully "This Cup" will pass from me. If not...With out REMORSE I will have my say!