Forget "Stupid Pet Tricks", this is what Letterman should run instead.
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He signed a bill providing for federal funds to be distributed to "faith based" organizations.
He expanded the number of federal crimes for which the death penalty can be given to a total of sixty.
He signed a bill outlawing gay marriages and took out ads on Christian radio stations touting his opposistion to any form of legal same sex couplings.
In a short span of time, he's been able to kick ten million people off welfare...that's ten million out of fourteen million recipients.
He promised states "bonus funds" if they can reduce their welfare numbers further, and made it easier to get these funds by not requiring the states to help the ex-welfare recipients find jobs.
He introduced a plan that would bar any assistance to teenage parents if they drop out of school or leave their parents home.
In spite of calls from Republican governers like George Ryan of Illinois to support a moratorium on capital punishment, he rejected all efforts to slow down the number of executions even after it was revealed that there are dozens of people on death row who are innocent.
He has released funds for local communities to hire over a hundred thousand police officers and supports laws that that put people behind bars for life after committing three crimes....even if those crimes were for shoplifting or not paying for a pizza.
There are now more people without health insurance than when he took office.
He has refused to sign the international Land Mine Ban treaty already signed by 137 nations....but not by Iraq, Libya, North Korea, or the United States.
He has accelerated drilling for gas and oil on federal lands at a pace that matches, and in some areas exceeds, the production level during the Reagan regime.
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We live in the finest democracy money can buy.
(edit for typos)