Author Topic: Am I a bad parent? (Read 3140 times)

Mini D · « **Reply #45 on:** January 30, 2003, 03:44:33 PM »

It doesn't really matter what you do now rip. Eventually, your child will realise he'll also be bald by the time he's 21 and you'll have to start from scratch.

I guess, in the interum, denial of luxuries might help prepare him.

MiniD

Eagler · « **Reply #46 on:** January 30, 2003, 04:16:32 PM »

moderation

watch what you create as a "forbidden fruit"............

crowMAW · « **Reply #47 on:** January 30, 2003, 04:21:07 PM »

Rip, as someone else said, moderation is the key. Since you already restrict the hours of tv they watch, simply make the time they spend playing a console the same as tv time since it has to be used with the tv. They can then choose and budget their time between conventional tv programming and console time.

In regards to the type of game you allow them to play I wonder why you don't allow RPGs? Personally, for a child I see real advantages to RPGs. They are puzzles that require a good deal of cognitive and reasoning skills to complete. Modern RPGs are also like graphic novels or comics...they have a plot and dialog that the player reads and hears. While I'm not into RPGs that much, my younger half brothers are and played Mario and Zelda-like games as youngsters. When I was home from college I would watch them play, and I could definitely see their problem solving skills improve during game play.

Saurdaukar · « **Reply #48 on:** January 30, 2003, 05:01:53 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by crowMAW
When I was home from college I would watch them play, and I could definitely see their problem solving skills improve during game play.

Another good point.

Virage · « **Reply #49 on:** January 30, 2003, 06:10:43 PM »

Rip,

I think you may be in a minor state of denial.

Average 3 hours a week?
How many posts do you have?
Aces High is not a game?

Isn't a console just a pretty computer?
Does it matter what screen you are sitting in front of?

Just food for thought. Good luck raisn the young uns. I hear it only gets harder!

Corwin · « **Reply #50 on:** January 30, 2003, 06:11:50 PM »

A good friend of mine is a psychiatrist who ran an adolescent program for many years. He truly believes that what is missing these days from kids lives is the eschatology (his word) of the sand lot. You went out there to play with your buds. You messed with somebody and they trashed you or maybe you trashed them. Then they came back with their buddies and trashed you worse, etc. The point being that you learned how to function in a group and that cause and effect works and can hurt. He pointed out that due to our fear of pervs we don't let our kids go outside and free play with their buds and their buds buds like we used to. Kids sit for hours watching increasingly realistic violence on TV and in video games that has no consequence. They can hack and maim and destroy all they want. Further, this solitary play erodes their ability to socialize and at the same time inures them to violence. I don't know beans but it makes sense to me.

I also read a book called The Sibling Society. The point the author made was that most societies revere their aged as a source of wisdom. When the poop hit the fan you went and asked the old folks if they had seen it happen before and learned from their mistakes. He made the point that we don't function that way anymore. The western mind sees life as being linear not a cycle. "Naaaaaah! That's histooooooory!" He further pointed out that somebody figured out awhile ago that you can sell anything to someone if you can appeal to them before the age of reason. So...think about the TV in your living room and how many shows have hip and cool kids and clueless adults. The TV tells your kid your an idiot and then pushes useless crap that they "have to have" in order to be cool during the commercials. He concluded by noting that recent generation look to their peers not their elders for feedback and suggested that TV may play a role.

Once again, I don't know beans but alot of this makes sense to me. I have 18 month old twin boys and it is fully my intention to do just what you have done Rip, so !

GRUNHERZ · « **Reply #51 on:** January 30, 2003, 06:40:06 PM »

Why did you visciously murder all those people seattle strangler?

"I did it because my daddy didnt buy me a PS2 when I was seven, oh daddy damn you, whyyyyy!"

Staga · « **Reply #52 on:** January 30, 2003, 06:41:16 PM »

Cousin got a Commodore 64 when he was about 9 or 10 years old. Now he is working for Nokia and can buy every frigging XBox he ever wants.
Playing Nintendo doesn't teach programming.

Anyway it looks like Rip is spending lots of time with his kids and IMHO that's what being the parent is.

Animal · « **Reply #53 on:** January 30, 2003, 07:04:55 PM »

Ripsnort, I dont wanna tell you how to raise your children, but I believe you are making a mistake here.

Since you are not from the Nintendo generation you may not understand the appeal of video games. The lack of this hallmark activity may someday even harm your children in the future in a few ways. Dont deny them of technology that can potentially be good.

Just because your son is actually afraid to ask you for these video games, doesnt mean he is not itching to have one. For him it may be the Red Ryder BB Gun :-P

Though I dont have one now, I was raised with video game consoles. Some of the games were dumb (Mortal Kombat, etc) but since I wasnt a dumb kid, I simply went for the better games (Final Fantasy saga, Metroid, Zelda, etc)

You have absolutely no idea how much a well designed video game can stimulate the imagination of a child. Because of the choices a role playing game gives you freedom with, it can be more stimulating than a book or a movie.

Well designed video games can really help a childs hand-eye coordination too.

Everything in excess is bad of course, just like TV can be, even books!
And of course there are mature games that children should not have in the first place, but video game boxes have ratings just like movies.

In short, try to open your mind a bit, dont deny your children one of the great activities of the new generation. Let them have a console and a few good games. If you wanna know which games are actually good for them (there are some even better designed than Aces High) just ask around here.

And simply limit their video game time just like you limit TV time or play time. Watch them, sit and play with them. You have no idea how much fun I used to have playing sport games with my father on a rainy day. Its one of my fondest memories.

eskimo2 · « **Reply #54 on:** January 30, 2003, 07:20:59 PM »

Parents have to set limits. A “bad parent” would not pay attention to, or care about, what their kids do.
I know that there are many games out there that are too violent for kids. (Probably some games are too sexual as well, not sure since I’ve only played flight sims) It’s clearly harmful to let kids play the worst of games that are out there.
It would also be unwise to let your kids play even the best educational games 9 hours a day.
Some parents don’t need to be concerned about their kids and computers, their kids just don’t show enough interest. Most parents, however, need to make two decisions when it comes to this matter: what computer activities are appropriate, and how much time is reasonable, for MY child.

Most people really do not make the best parenting decisions. So if you want to be a great parent, the last thing that you need to do is poll the general population. If you think that you’re a better parent that the average Joe, then trust your gut.

If you are looking for a way to rationalize (or criticize) your decision by looking only at the reasoning behind other parents’ thoughts on the issue, then a thread like this can be of value. But, don’t give in to peer pressure or public opinion, just clarify your thinking. Your kids are way too important.

My thoughts;
Can kids have plenty of fun playing educational games? Sure.
Can kids also learn while playing educational games? Sure.
Should kids get everything they want? No.
Can you possibly give your kids everything they want? No.
Does playing video games promote childhood obesity? Probably.
Does playing video games promote violence? Probably.
Does playing video games promote poor social skills? Probably.
* Does playing video games promote poor eyesight ? Probably.
Does playing video games promote laziness? Probably.
Will kids who don’t get to play video game turn out any worse than kids who do? Probably not.

* I just attended a seminar on recognizing various eyesight problems in children/students. It was presented by an ophthalmologist with 20 years of experience. She said that children of the Gameboy/computer generation have been developing nearsightedness at younger and younger ages. Most often the kids that need glasses at age 5, 4, and even 3 spend a heck of a lot of time playing video games. Again, this is an issue of moderation. She recommends no more than 30 minutes a day of “tube time”(any kind) for little ones.

Trust your instincts Ripsnort.

eskimo

Creamo · « **Reply #55 on:** January 30, 2003, 09:41:19 PM »

Somebody’s daddy didn’t teach humility very well.

Saurdaukar · « **Reply #56 on:** January 30, 2003, 11:22:50 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Creamo
Somebody’s daddy didn’t teach humility very well.

Hows this for irony?

Puke · « **Reply #57 on:** January 31, 2003, 12:03:17 AM »

I have not read this whole thread so I do not know the consensus. I do own a Gamecube and many games and our kids are allowed to play most of them. (They aren't even allowed to be in the room when I play Medal Of Honor though, and they can't touch my Madden 2003.) For our kids, it doesn't have to be 24/7 learning about something, they are allowed to be kids and play just for play's sake...within reason. It does not and cannot consist of a majority of their time. It really does not rot your brain and it does teach you problem solving (whether it's how to enter a secret room or how you can find a way to pass the faster car on the track) and is great for hand-eye coordination and is just simply fun. There is nothing wrong with a smiling happy kid. It can help keep your kids off the street and at home where you know what is going on, as opposed to escaping the home because the kids aren't allowed to have fun there. I don't see the big deal here. Cartoons didn't rot my brain nor did Mattell's hand-held football and I don't think Xbox will either. School work gets done, Gamecube is available for the kids and they are involved in sports such as soccer and I'm sure others in the future as they get older.

Mini D · « **Reply #58 on:** January 31, 2003, 12:05:35 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Saurdaukar
Hows this for irony?

LOL! That's a great one Saur... not laughing at you... laughing with you.

Creamo is a insert explitive here.

MiniD

Puke · « **Reply #59 on:** January 31, 2003, 12:13:58 AM »

Quote

Actually there are lots of games for X-Box already published for PC too, and running A LOT better and looking A LOT nicer in a good PC. In the other hand, Nintendo and Sony games are rarely ported to PC.

Ohh, but Madden 2003 just doesn't look the same on a computer as it does with component hook-ups on my big screen HDTV! And Gamecube allows for four-player play and computers aren't very good for that. The consoles do have their benefits.