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Author Topic: Am I a bad parent?  (Read 3123 times)

Offline akak

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Re: Am I a bad parent?
« Reply #60 on: January 31, 2003, 01:48:40 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
My house rules:


He has his computer, with many learning games (he's top in his 1st grade class for reading, writing, I might add) and a few simulators, but no "games" to speak of.

Any other "bad" parents out there?


A bad father? No.  A tad hypocritical?  Yes.  

It's the old 'Do as I say and not as I do' line we've all heard from our parents at one time or another.  

You mentioned that your son plays AH once in awhile, hate to tell you but there is really no difference between being fragged by a someone with a BFG in Quake then being shot down by someone in a P-51 in AH.  A game by any other name is still a game.


Ack-Ack
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Offline SaburoS

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« Reply #61 on: January 31, 2003, 01:59:28 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Tumor
I agree except for one thing... IMO "Do as I say, not as I do" is perfectly acceptable in the parent/child relationship.  IE: I have earned the right to walk my walk... this is a point I regularly make clear to my children.... this does not mean if my kid goes out mowing lawns for a summer and buys his own playstation, he gets to sit around the house for days on end playing games.  He is the child, I am the parent... what I say goes, no argument.  I've got one who turns 18 next month... rules are modified on his birthday to a great degree, however they will be followed or his path will lead out the front door.  Everything is relative when it comes to raising kids.


No disagreement here. My point is that if you tell your kids to do one thing, all the while you're doing another, respect is not earned that way. If you want your kids to walk your talk, it'll work out better if they see/hear their parents also walk the talk. Don't want your kids to swear? You shouldn't either.
Don't want your kids to do drugs? You shouldn't either.
Don't want your kids to play video games? You shouldn't either.
The best leadership is by example.
BTW please don't take my examples above as the way you are (I'd doubt it very much) as they're just for examples sake.
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Offline Animal

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« Reply #62 on: January 31, 2003, 11:22:02 AM »
I can tell you are a complete ignorant when it comes to video games.

Whatever, do what you want with your kids.
I'm glad I wasnt raised by people like you.
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Offline Makofan

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« Reply #63 on: January 31, 2003, 11:23:27 AM »
Father of 9,8 and 6-yr old boys here

I think playing AH and saying "no video games" is hypocrisy.  I think your intentions are good.  I am on the "everything in moderation" side.  These things can get right out of hand.  I sometimes go on "computer fasts" where I don't even log on for my email for two weeks, just to remind myself of what else I can do besides computers.

My kids have their computer time rationed, and I have to approve of whatever they are doing.  In violent games we sit down and talk about what the violence means in the context.  They understand what is on the screen is not real life, so we focus on the logistics, problem solving, and social skills facets of these games (many online games are co-operative)

On the whole, though, "no video games" may be a good policy, just hard to justify if you play AH

Good luck with whatever you decide !
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Offline midnight Target

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« Reply #64 on: January 31, 2003, 11:26:33 AM »
4 kids here, 24 to 14.

I am certainly not an expert, but I have made enough mistakes to know what works and what doesn't.

It isn't the rules you make, its the fact that you make rules. Your kids will remember the interactions they had with you a lot more than the substance of the rules you lay down.

The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. As long as you care and pay attention things will probably work out well.
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Offline Airhead

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« Reply #65 on: January 31, 2003, 11:45:09 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Animal
I can tell you are a complete ignorant when it comes to video games.

Whatever, do what you want with your kids.
I'm glad I wasnt raised by people like you.


Animal wasn't beaten enough as a child.
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Offline midnight Target

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« Reply #66 on: January 31, 2003, 11:49:44 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Airhead
Animal wasn't beaten enough as a child.



I have also found that a Gameboy upside the head works wonders.
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Offline Naso

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« Reply #67 on: January 31, 2003, 12:06:06 PM »
Rip, I think you are doing very good (manual activity, participation, WTG), but I guess you can relax a bit the rule, as a lot of posters said, you can permit the Devil to enter your house but with a firm time limit and an "approval veto" by you on the game.

Dont let them play too much and with wrong games, chose always games that force the use of the brain, or that simulate the physics of the real world (aka the sims).

About the RPG games, I dont understand why you oppose, there's a lot of good stuff around, with a complex interaction and a deep "parallel reality".

Just for a try, give a look to "Morrowind", I am exploring it now, and make my jaw fall everytime I realize the number of quests, the good complexity of the social structure, and the cure in creating the world. (Every house have his own objects distribution and a large variety of structures).

Moderation it's the key.
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Offline Kanth

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« Reply #68 on: January 31, 2003, 12:08:17 PM »
No children here and so I wouldn't presume to tell you how you are doing with yours. But good luck.
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Offline Ripsnort

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« Reply #69 on: January 31, 2003, 12:12:31 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Kanth
No children here and so I wouldn't presume to tell you how you are doing with yours. But good luck.


Wasn't asking what I should do...was asking if there are other parents that felt the same way I do about the game counsels.  But good luck! ;)

Animal, I'm very glad I didn't have to raise you as well! :)
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Offline moose

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« Reply #70 on: January 31, 2003, 12:38:07 PM »
Moderation. Worked for me - had a console, the basic rules were that I got all my work done and that it wasn't a sunny day outside.

I know people who *are* addicted though. However I think it's crummy to say your neighbor's kids are fat because they play video games.

Also, if you did get your kid an xbox or ps2, and limited him to a couple hours a week on it, would you also restrict the 40 hours of posting on fan message boards too? :p
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Offline Ripsnort

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« Reply #71 on: January 31, 2003, 12:41:02 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by moose
Also, if you did get your kid an xbox or ps2, and limited him to a couple hours a week on it, would you also restrict the 40 hours of posting on fan message boards too? :p


Just because your brain doesn't allow you to multi-task while at work doesn't mean others cannot.
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Offline Kanth

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« Reply #72 on: January 31, 2003, 12:55:54 PM »
Oh, I thot this thread had to do with whether or not the parent who denies their children 'console' games is a good or bad parent.

my blunder.

good luck with your list. :)

 

Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
Wasn't asking what I should do...was asking if there are other parents that felt the same way I do about the game counsels.  But good luck! ;)

Animal, I'm very glad I didn't have to raise you as well! :)
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Offline Creamo

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Am I a bad parent?
« Reply #73 on: January 31, 2003, 01:02:14 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
Just because your brain doesn't allow you to multi-task while at work doesn't mean others cannot.


lol, oh man...Saurdtard can't help but clue in now...
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Offline Airhead

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« Reply #74 on: January 31, 2003, 01:09:26 PM »
Creamo, OTOH, was beaten way too often as a child. ;)
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