Question for Euro's, Brit's, Canook's and anybody else that doesn't live where I do

[Bluedog]

Originally posted by Pei
Down in Aus:
Not sure about Fireants and Scorpians but we have everywhere else beaten hands down for venemous spiders and snakes. Always nice to have Funnelwebs, Redbacks and Taipans in the garden.

We have an outbreak of fireants in Brisbane.
They came here in a shipping container or something, not sure exactly how....anyway the Brissy council are doing everything they can to get rid of them before they can spread too far.
I have ten bucks says it's allready too late.

In the last three days I have seen an Eastern King Brown (about 7ft long the bugger, no way I was getting anywhere near that damn thing) a Taipan ,a couple of Black snakes, and this centipede looking thing that was about 6 inches long, a real horrid greeny-blue an yellow colour, with big yellow jaws?, pincers?  whatever the hell they are....it looked MEAN.
He he, no match for a size 12 work boot though
Both the Taipan and the King Brown are perfectly capable of injecting lethal to a human doses of venom in a single bight, and both are known for their tendancy to inflict multiple bights. We occasionally see Tiger snakes around here too, not all that often though.

The good part is the local hospital has very good stocks of ant-venom, for both the snakes, and the Funnelweb, who's bight is allso potentially fatal to humans.

I've seen scorpians around here before, but not real often, and they only seem very small ,I'm still not gonna start playing with 'em though.
We have loads of Redback spiders (basically, Black Widows, with a red mark on their abdomen) theres even a song about 'em.....starts out   "There was a redback on the toilet seat when I went there last night....I didnt see him in the dark, but boy I felt his bight!!"
Spiders are pretty harmless though, they don't exactly come looking for you, if you are aware that they are about, and take a bit of care with where you stick your hand etc, they arent much of a problem.
Around late April, early May every year we see heaps of funnelwebs as they move about looking for mates, but being big, ugly, black, shiny bastards, they are easy to spot and kill/avoid (they come into my house, they die, they stay outside, I leave 'em alone)

An innerestin' side note.... I used to work on a big cotton farm near Bourke in north western NSW (if it isnt the ******* of the world, you sure can smell it from there) and the banks of the irrigation channels at night would litteraly be crawling with deadly snakes( browns, tigers, taipans and death adders, with the occasional black), we used to have a sort of little flamethrower/firestarter thing, and walk along swooshing fire on the bank ahead so we could pick up the syphon pipes and start them.
Worste was, the syphon pipes were about 6 or 7 ft long lengths of black poli pipe, you shoot flame near a snake, and he'll go stright up that pipe. Interesting job to say the least, no way in hell would I ever do it again.

Allso heard a story from a mate who was in the Army...they were on excersice with some US Army guys in northern Aus.
Apparently this one poor yank soldier crawled into his sleeping bag and suddenly started screaming and thrashing around, his mates thought he was having some kind of fit and held him down so he wouldnt hurt himself, poor guy died of a massive dose of nuerotoxin from a king brown's bights...hundreds of them.
not sure how true that is...hopefully it isnt, but if you are ever in Aus, or anywhere else with dangerous locals, and are camping....dont unroll that bag unil the second you wanna get in it.



'Least we dont have stuff like cougars or bears or wolves or tigers.
Only stuff that will actually eat you down here is sharks and crocodiles.

[Gunslinger]

Not sure how "On-topic" this is but I think the Simpsons episode were bart has to appologize to the Aussies and ends up ruining there eco system by bringing his frog.

The boot was funny too if anyone remembers this episode

[straffo]

1. Bee's
we have

2. Wasp's/Hornet's/Yellow Jacket's
We have

3. Fireants
Keep them !
We don't need this kind of horror

4. Scorpion's
We have (not so deadly, but can make you serioulsy sick for 4/5 days)

5. Deadly Spider's (Brown Recluse/Black Widow types)
Well ... except the viper (Vipera aspis) and those in zoo none

6. Rattle Snake's
I've heard of a restaurant in Paris where you can eat some ... I guess it don't count

but we have some very dangerous species you don't have like :

1. Trotskist
2. Comunists
2'. Revolutionary communists (sub-specie of the communist , less frequent but more agressive ...)
2''. syndicalist-communists (see 2')
3. anarcho-communist s
4. post-communists

The list is endless

[Dowding]

Where you live, do you have

1. Bee's
2. Wasp's/Hornet's/Yellow Jacket's
3. Fireants
4. Scorpion's
5. Deadly Spider's (Brown Recluse/Black Widow types)
6. Rattle Snake's

1. Yes
2. Yes on the Wasp and maybe on the Hornet (never seen one)
3. No
4. No
5. No
6. No

England is god's own country - no extreme hazards except the man-made kind.

[GRUNHERZ]

Originally posted by straffo


but we have some very dangerous species you don't have like :

1. Trotskist
2. Comunists
2'. Revolutionary communists (sub-specie of the communist , less frequent but more agressive ...)
2''. syndicalist-communists (see 2')
3. anarcho-communist s
4. post-communists

The list is endless

Elect Margaret Thatcher and she will take care of those pests...

[Dowding]

Maggie isn't French, although she is senile.

[GRUNHERZ]

That was fast...  

But why are you now insinuating that senility is somehow akin to being french.. Why do you hate the french so?

[Dowding]

lol Bang on form.

Just about all your posts start at some unsupportable interpretation and then are extended until the words "why" and "hate" are used, putting words into the mouth of whoever you might be irritating today. Typically, you do your chronically unfunny, tired and ultimately piss poor parody of I-don't-know-what "Deth to Amreeka" just to round things off.

Firstly Maggie couldn't be elected to office because she is not French. Secondly, she is a senile old haridan who couldn't be elected to office for that very reason.

No Booosh, no Amreeka and no 'hating the French'.

[GRUNHERZ]

Wow! You get all that just from reading my last post?

[Dowding]

So you weren't putting words in my mouth? Is this the 'Grunherz Backtrack'?

[-tronski-]

Lucky for me I've never been near a Funnel-Web, but seen plenty of redbacks...

White tails are a bugger too, if they bite you I think the bite never heals (or is that an urban legend?)

mind you Huntsman spiders scare the **** outa me...nothing worse then of those barstards crawling around in the car!

Doesn't help being extremely arachnophobic ..

 Tronsky

[GRUNHERZ]

Well you said this...

Originally posted by Dowding
Maggie isn't French, although she is senile.

Basically you equate the two as if all the french were senile - allow me to demonstrate:

Dowding isnt poor and dirty, although he is the son of a coal miner.

Or in my case you could say.

GRUNHERZ isnt a mass murderer although he is a Croatian..

Get the point?


But anyway the whole thing was a joke, I thought you notice it was odd that I defend the French? Wasnt that obvious?

[straffo]

Isn't Margaret Thatcher  a sub-variant of Rattle Snake ?

she bite ... she kill


Renaud singed this :

Miss Maggie ( Mistral gagnant)
 

Femme du monde ou bien  putain
Qui bien souvent êtes les mêmes
Femme normale, star ou boudin,
Femelles en tout genre je vous aime
Même à la dernière des connes,
Je veux dédier ces quelques vers
Issus de mon dégoût des hommes
Et de leur morale guerrière
Car aucune femme sur la planète
N' s'ra jamais plus con que son frère
Ni plus fière, ni plus malhonnête
A part peut-être Madame Thatcher

Femme je t'aime parce que
Lorsque le sport devient la guerre
Y'a pas de gonzesse ou si peu
Dans les hordes de supporters
Ces fanatiques, fous-furieux
Abreuvés de haines et de bières
Déifiant les crétins en bleu,
Insultant les salauds en vert
Y'a pas de gonzesse hooligan,
Imbécile et meurtrière
Y'en a pas même en grande Bretagne
A part bien sûr Madame Thatcher

Femme je t'aime parce que
Une bagnole entre les pognes
Tu n' deviens pas aussi con que
Ces pauvres tarés qui se cognent
Pour un phare un peu amoché
Ou pour un doigt tendu bien haut
Y'en a qui vont jusqu'à flinguer
Pour sauver leur autoradio
Le bras d'honneur de ces cons-là
Aucune femme n'est assez vulgaire
Pour l'employer à tour de bras
A part peut être Madame Thatcher

Femme je t'aime parce que
Tu vas pas mourir à la guerre
Parc' que la vue d'une arme à feu
Fait pas frissonner tes ovaires
Parc' que dans les rangs des chasseurs
Qui dégomment la tourterelle
Et occasionnellement les Beurs,
J'ai jamais vu une femelle
Pas une femme n'est assez minable
Pour astiquer un revolver
Et se sentir invulnérable
A part bien sûr Madame Thatcher

C'est pas d'un cerveau féminin
Qu'est sortie la bombe atomique
Et pas une femme n'a sur les mains
Le sang des indiens d'Amérique
Palestiniens et arméniens
Témoignent du fond de leurs tombeaux
Qu'un génocide c'est masculin
Comme un SS, un torero
Dans cette putain d'humanité
Les assassins sont tous des frères
Pas une femme pour rivaliser
A part peut être Madame Thatcher

Femme je t'aime surtout enfin
Pour ta faiblesse et pour tes yeux
Quand la force de l'homme ne tient
Que dans son flingue ou dans sa queue
Et quand viendra l'heure dernière,
L'enfer s'ra peuplé de crétins
Jouant au foot ou à la guerre,
A celui qui pisse le plus loin
Moi je me changerai en chien si je peux rester sur la Terre
Et comme réverbère quotidien
Je m'offrirai Madame Thatcher

translation :
Women of the world or street
So very often just the same
I love every one I meet
Have they fame or be they plain

Down to the last stupid crow
I praise with every word I utter
I'm disgusted by men now
With their morals from the gutter

'Cause there's no woman in this land
Quite so stupid as her brother
Nor so vain or underhand
Except, maybe, Madame Thatcher

Lady I love you now, I do
'Cause when a sport becomes a war
There's no girls, or very few
Amongst those fans who yell for more

Those with no marbles left to lose
Up to here with hate and beer
Deifying fools in blue
Insulting bastards with a sneer

There is no female hooligan
Imbecilic, filled with murder
No, not even in Britain
Except, for sure, Madame Thatcher

I love woman just because
When she's sitting at the wheel
There's no man-like sense of loss
No urge to kill is yours to feel

For a slightly damaged headlight
Or for two fingers in the air
There are those who wish to fight
To the death if they but dare

An "up yours" their favourite sign
There's no woman so vulgar
To use this symbol all the time
Except, perhaps, Madame Thatcher

How I love you, dear woman
You don't go to war to die
Because the vision of a gun
Does not make you pant and sigh

Amongst those hunters of the night
Who jump on creatures that are frail
And occasionnally an Arabite
I've yet to see a female

There is no woman low enough
To spit and polish a revolver
Just to feel so bloody tough
Except, for sure, Madame Thatcher

The atom bomb was never made
By a human female brain
And no female hand has slayed
Those U.S. peoples of the plain

Palestinians or Armenians
Bear their witness form the grave
That a genocide is masculine
Like a SS or a Green Beret

In this bloody mass of man
Each assassin is a brother
There's no woman to rival them
Except, of course, Madame Thatcher

And lastly Woman, above all
I love hour gentleness so mild
A man draws strength from his own balles
Wich like his gun he shoots from wild

And when the final curtain draws
He'll join the cretins in the harvest
Playing football, playing wars
Or who can piss the farthest

I would join the doggic host
And love my days on earth
As my day to day lampost
I would use Madame Thatcher.

[GRUNHERZ]

Wow that song is very very insecure with women in strong agressive roles - I bet it was it written by a french man?

[Nilsen]

We have

1. Bee's
2. Wasp's
3. Snakes, but none of em are dangerous. The worst one gives you pain like a bee sting unless you happen to be alergic to it.