Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Wayout on May 15, 2011, 10:42:08 AM
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Pleasing women. Volume One
(http://i924.photobucket.com/albums/ad81/jrk9259/woman.jpg)
Well. sometimes it seems this way.
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We're gonna need a bigger book...
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Pleasing women. Volume One
(http://i924.photobucket.com/albums/ad81/jrk9259/woman.jpg)
Well. sometimes it seems this way.
:rofl
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Pleasing women. Volume One
(http://i924.photobucket.com/albums/ad81/jrk9259/woman.jpg)
Well. sometimes it seems this way.
:rofl
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How to impress a woman
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Encourage her,
Believe in her,
Pray with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.
How to impress a man
Show up naked ... Bring food ... Don't block the TV.
After seeing the title of this thread, I couldn't resist dragging this old joke out for your consideration. :old:
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(http://seedlessmedia.net/thepapercanoe/wp-content/themes/thesis_18/custom/rotator/man-woman-controls-4tpc.jpg)
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:rofl
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Pleasing a woman is like intensive flying in your sopwith.
"Get into her, take her to heaven and back five times a day :D"
(Captain Flasheart)
wwwwooooffff
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(http://seedlessmedia.net/thepapercanoe/wp-content/themes/thesis_18/custom/rotator/man-woman-controls-4tpc.jpg)
:lol that is the best!
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(http://seedlessmedia.net/thepapercanoe/wp-content/themes/thesis_18/custom/rotator/man-woman-controls-4tpc.jpg)
:rofl :rofl Sad but True
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Pleasing women. Volume One
(http://i924.photobucket.com/albums/ad81/jrk9259/woman.jpg)
Well. sometimes it seems this way.
That implies that it is possible
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That implies that it is possible
:lol
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That implies that it is possible
Exactly!
Besides IF there was a way it would not be in text form! :O
Sometimes I feel bad for men ... I said SOMETIMES! :t
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Exactly!
Besides IF there was a way it would not be in text form! :O
Sometimes I feel bad for men ... I said SOMETIMES! :t
:lol
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:lol
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Exactly!
Besides IF there was a way it would not be in text form! :O
Sometimes I feel bad for men ... I said SOMETIMES! :t
haha! good to have a womans input on the matter :aok
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:rofl
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A guy in a gym one day walks up and asks a trainer "Which one of these machines should I use to get the really attractive ladies?".
The trainer promptly points to the front door and replies "The ATM outside.".
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A guy in a gym one day walks up and asks a trainer "Which one of these machines should I use to get the really attractive ladies?".
The trainer promptly points to the front door and replies "The ATM outside.".
:rofl :rofl :rofl :noid
:rofl
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Where did you get the condensed version? :devil
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How about pleasing teenagers compared to women that's like X100.
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How about pleasing teenagers compared to women that's like X100.
Bit harder, you actually have to listen to what they say before plotting to exploit what you want out of them.
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Bit harder, you actually have to listen to what they say before plotting to exploit what you want out of them.
Ouch! That's harsh!
-Penguin
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How about pleasing teenagers compared to women that's like X100.
teenage girls haha
Bit harder, you actually have to listen to what they say before plotting to exploit what you want out of them.
its good that almost no one has the patience to do it,we would be sitting here for years
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Pleasing woman is easy if you have the right woman.
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Pleasing woman is easy if you have the right woman.
:aok
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Pleasing a woman is very easy once you get really good at making them think that you are actually paying attention :bolt:
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Pleasing woman is easy if you have the right woman.
Most women you can't mail order or use an air-guage to tell if they're good to go or not.
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I thought I'd "stir the pot" with this one.
I'm sure everyone is familiar with the actress Sharon Stone.
How many of us have watched that one particular scene of hers in Basic Instinct?
This is a quote from her that I have always found amusing:
"Women can fake orgasms but men can fake relationships."
The lady does have a sense of humor.
I'll probably catch a lot of flak for this post, but oh well, the devil made me do it. :devil
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Bit harder, you actually have to listen to what they say before plotting to exploit what you want out of them.
Babalonian, youve made my facebook quotes page. :rofl
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:rofl
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Most women you can't mail order or use an air-guage to tell if they're good to go or not.
Theres alot of luck in it for sure, but it matters what ponds you fish in, and taking the time beforehand to be sure.
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You can fish in the sea with the best bait in the world, and still spend all day only catching minnows stupid enough to eat a clean hook.
(Can you tell I have trust issues with women? :D In seriousness, my motto is whenever I go actively looking and hunting for it, all I find is trouble or disapointment. Might be a long time, but someday, you just gotta keep your eyes open for the good ones.)
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Pleasing women:
1. Hookers: Pay them
2. Wife: Pay them. Say "Yes Hun". Dont have #3 or #1.
3. Girlfriends: Screw their eyeballs out. Pay them. Having #2 is optional. Having #1 still viable if done secretly.
:lol
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:rofl
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been with my wife for over 18 years.....it aint easy that's for sure.
this world makes it easy to divorce, almost encourages it, not many people actually put effort into their marriage.
it takes work and commitment.
I was blessed enough to find a woman that has the patience of a saint, to deal with my crazy ass.
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been with my wife for over 18 years.....it aint easy that's for sure.
this world makes it easy to divorce, almost encourages it, not many people actually put effort into their marriage.
it takes work and commitment.
I was blessed enough to find a woman that has the patience of a saint, to deal with my crazy ass.
:aok 20 years here and I am the crazy one ... wait isn't that how this thread started? :t
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:aok 20 years here and I am the crazy one ... wait isn't that how this thread started? :t
awesome...20 years :salute
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In seriousness, my motto is whenever I go actively looking and hunting for it, all I find is trouble or disapointment. Might be a long time, but someday, you just gotta keep your eyes open for the good ones.
Babalonian, Brother... when ever you go looking your just looking for someone for that moment in time. When the right one comes along your going to know it, just take your time and she will find you.
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It only takes around 2 inches to please a woman and it doesn't matter if it says Visa or Mastercard on it.
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:rofl :rofl :rofl
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14 years here! Not sure how she has put up with me this long, but she takes care of me.
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It only takes around 2 inches to please a woman and it doesn't matter if it says Visa or Mastercard on it.
:rofl :aok
14 years here! Not sure how she has put up with me this long, but she takes care of me.
Anytime you fellas want to drag your ladies and their younger single sisters in here to represent the genuine-good-female statistic in the AH BBS community, feel free to invite them to the party. :devil (Sorry SGY, CMs don't count. :bolt: )
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been with my wife for over 18 years.....it aint easy that's for sure.
this world makes it easy to divorce, almost encourages it, not many people actually put effort into their marriage.
it takes work and commitment.
I was blessed enough to find a woman that has the patience of a saint, to deal with my crazy ass.
Amen brother! 20 years and counting!!!! work work work! Aniversary. Work work work! Her birthday! Diamonds and dinner. Work Work Work! My birthday!!!!!! I get clothes......GRRRRRR
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(Sorry SGY, CMs don't count. :bolt: )
:huh
First and foremost not only would it be a HUGE mistake not to invite me the uninvite for the mere reason of being a CM seems a little harsh but, I understand you are naive to just how fun the CM team can be so I will cut you slack on that one.
Last but, for sure not least the real reason is I am too old ... party days are over so my aches and pains say! They need much rest and since my bedtime is probably your dinner time I could not make it anyway. :D
Hope to see you on June 11th. maybe so I could slap ya' but, I could throw my back if I did so I'll be nice. :angel:
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Amen brother! 20 years and counting!!!! work work work! Aniversary. Work work work! Her birthday! Diamonds and dinner. Work Work Work! My birthday!!!!!! I get clothes......GRRRRRR
Congrats on the 20!!
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12 with the Ex- The original English mad cow, and will be 20 in December with my present wife.
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12 with the Ex- The original English mad cow, and will be 20 in December with my present wife.
:rofl & Congrats brat!
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:huh
First and foremost not only would it be a HUGE mistake not to invite me the uninvite for the mere reason of being a CM seems a little harsh but, I understand you are naive to just how fun the CM team can be so I will cut you slack on that one.
Last but, for sure not least the real reason is I am too old ... party days are over so my aches and pains say! They need much rest and since my bedtime is probably your dinner time I could not make it anyway. :D
Hope to see you on June 11th. maybe so I could slap ya' but, I could throw my back if I did so I'll be nice. :angel:
Gas prices are looking favorable enough, unfortunatley my headgasket blew while I was trying to get to the Planes of Fame at Chino this Saturday, so..... I know, I was looking forward to the first time up there too, you wouldn't of had to of bent over at all to salp my 6'5" tall man-arse.
And you weren't invited because we already know all the CMs are good-natured and genuine people, and not because you're too good for us.
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And you weren't invited because we already know all the CMs are good-natured and genuine people, and not because you're too good for us.
Nice save! :aok
Be prepared for next years trip! if anything changes for this one let me know.
:salute
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Whisper in her ear that you paid her credit card bill. :aok
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The secret:
Be disinterested in pleasing them. Be interested in how they can please you, knowing full well you can always find another women.
The problem for men:
This is extremely difficult for men who actually have a soul to pull off.
The problem for women:
This quirk of female psychology almost guarantees they will fall in love with a string of soulless bastages and blow off whatever "nice guys" come their way, unless they are lucky enough to run into a genuinely nice guy who can pull off a seamless "soulless bastage" as needed.
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The secret:
Be disinterested in pleasing them. Be interested in how they can please you, knowing full well you can always find another women.
The problem for men:
This is extremely difficult for men who actually have a soul to pull off.
The problem for women:
This quirk of female psychology almost guarantees they will fall in love with a string of soulless bastages and blow off whatever "nice guys" come their way, unless they are lucky enough to run into a genuinely nice guy who can pull off a seamless "soulless bastage" as needed.
If I didnt fit that description id get nowhere, trust me on that.
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:aok 20 years here and I am the crazy one ... wait isn't that how this thread started? :t
37 years in August this year for me! :) I'm easily pleased......
....just don't annoy me! :D
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:rofl :aok
Anytime you fellas want to drag your ladies and their younger single sisters in here to represent the genuine-good-female statistic in the AH BBS community, feel free to invite them to the party. :devil (Sorry SGY, CMs don't count. :bolt: )
How about retired CMs? :)
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37 years in August this year for me! :) I'm easily pleased......
....just don't annoy me! :D
Whew 20 went by so fast but, 37 seems far away! Congrats!!
Good to see you Flossy. :D
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How about retired CMs? :)
:rofl
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Whew 20 went by so fast but, 37 seems far away! Congrats!!
Good to see you Flossy. :D
Thanks Shegotya.... good to see to. :)
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Pleasing woman is easy if you have the right woman.
pleasing women is easy if you know how...and i guess your idea works too, filth.
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Pleasing women.
Use your tongue...
...and congrats to all of you with succesful long marriages :aok
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(http://seedlessmedia.net/thepapercanoe/wp-content/themes/thesis_18/custom/rotator/man-woman-controls-4tpc.jpg)
Ain't that the truth.
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fortunately fellas......the Cornelius Brothers were kind enought to spell things out for us, years ago...
All my friends had to ask me
Somethin' they didn't understand-a
How I get all the women
In the palms of my hand, now
And I told them, to treat her like a lad-ay
(You got-to, got-to treat her like)
Um-hum all the best you can do
(Treat her like, you got-to, got-to treat her like)
You got to treat her like a lad-ay, she give into you
Ah-hum now who can see, you know what I mean?
I know you heard (treat her right)
That a woman (got-ta treat her right)
Will soon take advantage (treat her right) of you
(Got-ta treat her right)
Let me tell you (treat her right)
My friend (got-ta treat her right)
There just ain't no (treat her right) subsititute-ta
(Got-ta treat her right)
You oughta a treat her like a lad-ay
(You got-ta, got-ta treat her like)
Um-hum, all (treat her like) the best you can do
(You got-ta, got-ta treat her like)
You got-ta treat her like a lad-ay
She give into you, ah-hum
Now who can see? you know what I mean
Oh, you've got to love her (love her)
Tease her (tease her)
But most of all you've got-ta please her
(Please her)
You've got-ta hold her (hold her)
Now an want her (want her)
And make her feel you'll always need her
(Need her)
You know a woman (woman)
Is sentimental (woman)
And so easy (woman) to upset (woman)
So make her feel (feel)
That she's for real (real)
An she give you happiness
Whoa-oh-oh
Strange (treat her like) as it seems-a
(You got-ta treat her like)
You know you can't (treat her like) a woman mean
(Got-ta treat her like)
So my friends, now there you have it
I said it's the easy simple way
Now if you fail, uh, ta do this
Don't blame her if she looks my way-a
Cause I'm gonna a
A treat her like a lad-ay
(You got-ta, got-ta treat her like)
Um-hum, so affec (treat her like) tionately
(You got-ta, got-ta treat her like)
I'm gonna treat her like a lad-ay
She give into me, uh-huh
Now who can see?
You know what I mean
Oh you gotta a treat her like a lad-ay
(You got-ta, got-ta treat her like)
Um-hum, all the best you can do
(You got-ta, got-ta treat her like)
You got-ta treat her like a lad-ay
She give into you...
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when I was young, I found this to be the truth. the women I treated like crap always stuck around me, no matter what. the one's I treated nice, normally left really fast because I was boring. as i got to be in my 30's that didnt change. but I wasnt gonna treat any woman like crap like when I was in my 20's. took me a long time to find one that wanted to be treated nice. now I am in my 40's and still find that woman will gravitate to somebody that treats them like crap no matter the age, some dont, but most do.
semp
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Women need 3 things.
1. Food
2. Water
3. Compliments
The truth is there is no "right one" or "soul mate." If you're lucky you'll just find a mate. Someone you can deal with on a daily basis. "Happily ever after" is a mirage. How many married couples do you know who are really happy? How 'bout in love? Very few. Not talkin' about newlyweds here. Talkin' about the veteran couples who have put in at least 5 years. And throw a couple of kids in the mix and forget about it. I bet less than 1% of married couples are truly happy. It's sad but true. Not sure if the single people are happy either but that's a story for another day.
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My parents still love each other, hug and kiss. When they disagree, they talk it out like mature human beings. I even have a brother, so kids don't seem to make a difference. There's a difference between a fairy tale life and real life, there's no doubt in my mind about that. It's true that married people disagree on things, that's just human nature. The happy couples don't let it crush the fact that they love each other.
Don't expect it to be perfect, but if you pick the right one, there'll be some perfect parts.
-Penguin
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Women need 3 things.
1. Food
2. Water
3. Compliments
The truth is there is no "right one" or "soul mate." If you're lucky you'll just find a mate. Someone you can deal with on a daily basis. "Happily ever after" is a mirage. How many married couples do you know who are really happy? How 'bout in love? Very few. Not talkin' about newlyweds here. Talkin' about the veteran couples who have put in at least 5 years. And throw a couple of kids in the mix and forget about it. I bet less than 1% of married couples are truly happy. It's sad but true. Not sure if the single people are happy either but that's a story for another day.
Ahhh, another statistic based on one persons experience. What was your population sample? 3? 5? 10? couples? What part of what town or country? Good job on stating the facts sir :aok
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Women need 3 things.
1. Food
2. Water
3. Compliments
The truth is there is no "right one" or "soul mate." If you're lucky you'll just find a mate. Someone you can deal with on a daily basis. "Happily ever after" is a mirage. How many married couples do you know who are really happy? How 'bout in love? Very few. Not talkin' about newlyweds here. Talkin' about the veteran couples who have put in at least 5 years. And throw a couple of kids in the mix and forget about it. I bet less than 1% of married couples are truly happy. It's sad but true. Not sure if the single people are happy either but that's a story for another day.
wrong :aok
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wrong :aok
How could he be wrong? He has met and talked to every couple in every country. Not to mention that he is able to post on a BBS. How could he possibly be wrong? :confused:
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How could he be wrong? He has met and talked to every couple in every country. Not to mention that he is able to post on a BBS. How could he possibly be wrong? :confused:
damn your right... :uhoh
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am i the only one who actually understands girls and women? :headscratch: or is that just because i can be friends with chicks easier than guys...? :bolt:
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or is that just because i can be friends with chicks easier than guys...? :bolt:
you have to be part chick in the first place for that to be true :lol
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Here are the facts: 50% of marriages end in divorce. That's 1 out of 2 right off the bat. Of the remaining 50% how many are truly in love? How many stay together for financial reasons? How many are having affairs but come home to their spouses and put on a happy face? How many give the appearance of being happy?
On a more personal note, I'm divorced. My brother is divorced. Of my 4 close friends whom I have known since grammar school, 2 are divorced, 1 doesn't speak to his wife and the other guy claims he is happy but hits on every girl he sees when his wife is not around. My mother and father are together but not happy. My mother's parents were not happy. The only case I have of a couple being in love is my father's parents. Funny thing is they had nothing. Never owned a home. Never bought a new car. Had almost no money in savings yet they were happy. Maybe there's something to be said for that?
Wait, there's more. My dental hygienist is divorced. My electrician is divorced. The old friend I ran into last Saturday at the supermarket is getting divorced. And on and on and on...
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Here are the facts: 50% of marriages end in divorce. That's 1 out of 2 right off the bat. Of the remaining 50% how many are truly in love? How many stay together for financial reasons? How many are having affairs but come home to their spouses and put on a happy face? How many give the appearance of being happy?
On a more personal note, I'm divorced. My brother is divorced. Of my 4 close friends whom I have known since grammar school, 2 are divorced, 1 doesn't speak to his wife and the other guy claims he is happy but hits on every girl he sees when his wife is not around. My mother and father are together but not happy. My mother's parents were not happy. The only case I have of a couple being in love is my father's parents. Funny thing is they had nothing. Never owned a home. Never bought a new car. Had almost no money in savings yet they were happy. Maybe there's something to be said for that?
Wait, there's more. My dental hygienist is divorced. My electrician is divorced. The old friend I ran into last Saturday at the supermarket is getting divorced. And on and on and on...
I'm in the wrong profession, sounds like I should have been a divorce lawyer.
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Here are the facts: 50% of marriages end in divorce. That's 1 out of 2 right off the bat. Of the remaining 50% how many are truly in love? How many stay together for financial reasons? How many are having affairs but come home to their spouses and put on a happy face? How many give the appearance of being happy?
And by facts you mean a number followed by 20 questions :lol. Who came up with the 50%? You have to include your sample with your results or the numbers are just garbage. Remember the bread thread? I bet you 90% of divorced people eat bread. What conclusion should we draw based on that fact? :lol
On a more personal note, I'm divorced. My brother is divorced. Of my 4 close friends whom I have known since grammar school, 2 are divorced, 1 doesn't speak to his wife and the other guy claims he is happy but hits on every girl he sees when his wife is not around. My mother and father are together but not happy. My mother's parents were not happy. The only case I have of a couple being in love is my father's parents. Funny thing is they had nothing. Never owned a home. Never bought a new car. Had almost no money in savings yet they were happy. Maybe there's something to be said for that?
Wait, there's more. My dental hygienist is divorced. My electrician is divorced. The old friend I ran into last Saturday at the supermarket is getting divorced. And on and on and on...
My point of personal experience statistics. So 10 couples you know are divorced and therefore that applies to the world. Care to share a few more details like the demographics of where you took your sample. I can tell you that you, your brother, and your friends count as 1. The reason is that you share the same experiences been brought up with similar values and believes, etc. I hope you don;t take this as an attack. I am just trying to show you that even if at the end you end up being right, it would be pure luck and not due to statistics.
In my home town I knew of 3 couples that were divorced. Does that mean something? Does it mean I just did not know of others or that things there were perfect? I have no clue, but it would be foolish to assume anything about the world based on my limited knowledge. In my neighborhood now I know of 0 divorced couples. Again, does that mean something? It could be that I don;t care enough to find out or that 100% of marriages don;t lead to divorce (according to your statistical model).
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http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm
Marriage and Divorce
(Data are for the U.S.)
•Number of marriages: 2,077,000
•Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population
•Divorce rate: 3.4 per 1,000 population (44 reporting States and D.C.)
Source: Births, Marriages, Divorces, and Deaths: Provisional Data for 2009, table A
Been married once, was in love for many many years, but my Ex in the end was too needy and thought marriage was a problem solver for her and when it didn't commit to her she stopped commiting to it. She went looking elsewhere for what she wanted and found plenty of seductive promisses, but to this day nothing that has ever made her happy or content. She left me swearing she was to never get married again, that it wasn't working out for her, that I never listened to her and I was the reason everything failed, etc. etc.. The seperation never made sence to me for the longest time: she hated and blamed me, it was all my fault - she didn't want to hear from me - she wanted to stay in touch often - she wanted stay friends because I was her best friend - she would compliment that I was a good and kind man to her and a winning catch for another worthy woman... square pegs don't fit round holes, and this was all I heard from her for well over a year as I tried figuring things out and picking myself back up.
It wasn't until after that time though, when she began loosing her faith and trust in the guy she had been with and that she had met and been talking to before leaving me, that she started really talking to me again and that's when I pieced together what really had happened to her and our relationship a long time ago. What bewilders me the most is now and today she's back to where she was over ten years ago, looking for a decent guy to meet and eventualy settle down with and eventualy start a family with. So today I only fear for my own future and any other single man's out there exposed to these women (or a couple of the other crazies I've had the displeasure of dating since) in "the sea", and I'm in no rush to find them and can only hope nobody else is either.
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Nevermind.
-Penguin
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One of the funnest pictures I have ever seen.
#
*
So for exercise, ask a man to describe the most perfect woman he can imagine in 50 words or less, and he can do it. Ask the same question to a women to describe the most perfect man in 50,000's pages or less, and she can't. p.s. it's kind of true. :)
But see who can do in 15 minutes or less.
Rash
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And by facts you mean a number followed by 20 questions :lol. Who came up with the 50%? You have to include your sample with your results or the numbers are just garbage. Remember the bread thread? I bet you 90% of divorced people eat bread. What conclusion should we draw based on that fact? :lol
My point of personal experience statistics. So 10 couples you know are divorced and therefore that applies to the world. Care to share a few more details like the demographics of where you took your sample. I can tell you that you, your brother, and your friends count as 1. The reason is that you share the same experiences been brought up with similar values and believes, etc. I hope you don;t take this as an attack. I am just trying to show you that even if at the end you end up being right, it would be pure luck and not due to statistics.
In my home town I knew of 3 couples that were divorced. Does that mean something? Does it mean I just did not know of others or that things there were perfect? I have no clue, but it would be foolish to assume anything about the world based on my limited knowledge. In my neighborhood now I know of 0 divorced couples. Again, does that mean something? It could be that I don;t care enough to find out or that 100% of marriages don;t lead to divorce (according to your statistical model).
where I live in fontana, california. all my friends older than 25 have been divorced at least once. I actually dont know any person that hasnt gotten married/lived together with at least 2 partners. so I think that 50% is bs, i am pretty sure it's 99%. fun fact of the people that I know that have been married more than 10 years (remarried) they all have cheated on their spouse. The only person that I know that has lived with the same person for 10 years and hasnt cheated is me. and I came (not literally) pretty close to it many times. then again sheep dont count :banana:.
semp
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My parents have been together for 15 years and are happily married.
-Penguin