I am a criminal

[storch]

I was dumping illegally many years back.  I was offloading scrap  lumber from a roof we had removed, just lumber.  This was in a field that was being developed for I-75.  So I'm tossing Pine 2x4's off of the back of my Chevy C-60 flatbed.  I hear a car approach so I stop.  The car stops just behind some shrubs and I can see the Dade County green and gold stripes of an official vehicle just the hood was visible.  I jump off of the truck and start tossing the lumber back up on the flatbed.  The code enforcement guy pulls up, stops and asks what I'm doing.  I tell him that I'm picking up lumber to burn in my fireplace at home ( I did have one)  He looks at me and smirks knowing full well what's happened.  He says that there were reports of illegal dumping observed by the police helo in this vicinity but sadly the helo was off chasing bad guys.  He advised me to leave before the helo was free to return, slaps me on the back and says best one I've ever heard kid and goes away chuckling.  They don't take organic stuff like that too seriously.

[Habu]

Originally posted by storch
I was dumping illegally many years back.  I was offloading scrap  lumber from a roof we had removed, just lumber.  This was in a field that was being developed for I-75.  So I'm tossing Pine 2x4's off of the back of my Chevy C-60 flatbed.  I hear a car approach so I stop.  The car stops just behind some shrubs and I can see the Dade County green and gold stripes of an official vehicle just the hood was visible.  I jump off of the truck and start tossing the lumber back up on the flatbed.  The code enforcement guy pulls up, stops and asks what I'm doing.  I tell him that I'm picking up lumber to burn in my fireplace at home ( I did have one)  He looks at me and smirks knowing full well what's happened.  He says that there were reports of illegal dumping observed by the police helo in this vicinity but sadly the helo was off chasing bad guys.  He advised me to leave before the helo was free to return, slaps me on the back and says best one I've ever heard kid and goes away chuckling.  They don't take organic stuff like that too seriously.

Nice one. Quick thinking on your feet.

I would have saved the wood for my fireplace though.

[Hawklore]

Only evidence there will be is the kids word, and the freshl cut wounds on the tree...

[Mini D]

Wait until it's all over then write a 20 minute song about it.

[storch]

Originally posted by Habu


Nice one. Quick thinking on your feet.

I would have saved the wood for my fireplace though.

We only burn oak. pine leaves too much creosote in the flue and it's a Biotch to clean.  Plus we only use it two or three days a year when the temperature drops into the 50's and we're freezing :]

[rpm]

Geez, forgive me for takin the poor kid's point of view. You are right about them posting a sign. If you get anything it will be a ticket in the mail.

And just for the record GTO, I wasn't practically bragging about my speeding tickets. I WAS bragging about them. I know I funded a Bahamas trip for my lawyer one year.

[vorticon]

don't forget to tell us how much the fine is, after you get it, knowing the postal system, sometime in 2100

[capt. apathy]

Originally posted by Habu
You know what is funny? The first thing I did when I got to the warehouse today was sweep out the back of my truck.

No lilac leaves or branches to be found there now. Second thing I did was back up under a tree so if I missed the odd little piece it could be assumed it dropped from the tree.

I felt like John Wayne Gacy digging a hole in is basement. Any second I fully expected the police to pull up.

you need to be more thorough.
  you need to completely level the lilac tree, so there is no evidence you ever even owned on.  dig it up stump and all (be very careful when you dispose of this part, you don't need to start this all over again.  maybe you could hire a hire some guys to roll it up in an old carpet and bury it for you, since you wouldn't want to be seen dumping more lilac debris), so they can't match it genetically to the evidence.  then get some gas and burn off your whole yard in-case any leaves or blossoms are left.

next you need to get your truck painted, so the description doesn't match the plate.


or you could rush home, put your feet up, take a couple Valium, pop open a beer and chill out.

if something as minor as this can up your stress level this much, you must have one smooth and easy-going life.  I envy you.

worst case scenario-  they send you a citation in the mail, you plead guilty and send in a fine that doesn't even come close to what you would have paid in gas, time, and dumping fees if you'd had gone to the other dump site.  and as a bonus you have this funny little story about your brush with the law.  nobody can take that from you man.

[AKWeav]

And don't forget to wash out the bed of the truck with bleach. It removes any traces of blood, Er.....Sap! yea thats the ticket, sap.

[mosgood]

You could complain to the dumping company that you were assualted by that kid but you would be willing to call it even.  


take the offensive!!!!

[Creamo]

Originally posted by Habu
Every time the phone rings I am breaking into a sweat.

Just imagine it's retired police that might answer dumping trees limbs emergency calls. I would put Maverick on you.

Answer the door, tell him to go blow himself, close it, and watch him dig his conceal permit training manual, and not to pull a gun. Then laugh and go back to doing some stuff guys do in their own homes.

I'd shoot you, but Im not an EX-COP with a bad avator trying to live my past, or be Tom Cruise.

[Habu]

Originally posted by capt. apathy
you need to be more thorough.
  you need to completely level the lilac tree, so there is no evidence you ever even owned on.  dig it up stump and all (be very careful when you dispose of this part, you don't need to start this all over again.  maybe you could hire a hire some guys to roll it up in an old carpet and bury it for you, since you wouldn't want to be seen dumping more lilac debris), so they can't match it genetically to the evidence.  then get some gas and burn off your whole yard in-case any leaves or blossoms are left.

next you need to get your truck painted, so the description doesn't match the plate.


or you could rush home, put your feet up, take a couple Valium, pop open a beer and chill out.

if something as minor as this can up your stress level this much, you must have one smooth and easy-going life.  I envy you.

worst case scenario-  they send you a citation in the mail, you plead guilty and send in a fine that doesn't even come close to what you would have paid in gas, time, and dumping fees if you'd had gone to the other dump site.  and as a bonus you have this funny little story about your brush with the law.  nobody can take that from you man.

You have me pegged, at least my wife says so.

[Habu]

Originally posted by mosgood
You could complain to the dumping company that you were assualted by that kid but you would be willing to call it even.  


take the offensive!!!!

I have to say mosgood is the guy I would most like to have as a partner in crime. Or as a neighbor. Good practical ideas.

Well the cops never called or came buy so I am begining to relax. The two beers at dinner didn't hurt either. Too bad I was out of Corona, had to settle for Coors Lite.

Phew life on the lam is tough.

[mosgood]

Originally posted by Habu
I have to say mosgood is the guy I would most like to have as a partner in crime. Or as a neighbor. Good practical ideas.

Well the cops never called or came buy so I am begining to relax. The two beers at dinner didn't hurt either. Too bad I was out of Corona, had to settle for Coors Lite.

Phew life on the lam is tough.

LOL

Probably why I chose the infomercial industry as my profession

[G0ALY]

It’s time to start thinking seriously about what you’ve done and start planning your next move… A little pool cue chalk over the eyes and some cherry Kool-Aid powder on the lips will help you snag a good cellie.