"SEXTING" PLEASE READ PARENTS

[trigger2]

An internet nanny will not keep the sexual predators away from her.

Yes, I'm very well aware of the sickos out there, but don't you think you're over-reacting a smidge? Imho (not to sound rude, because I obviously don't know you or your daughter, and either of your mental/emotional states...), a key logger is 1) VERY easy to get around (access program files, boot from a disc, partition etc... etc..., which you may say "she doesn't know", but if a friend were to have come up to me and said, "Somehow, my dad knows what I type, when I type, where I type, and can get a SS, I'd say, "Keylogger, do this to get around it"...) and 2) a blatant disregaurd of privacy... There's keeping her safe, then there's keeping her under lock and key... the 2nd being the worst of the two... if you keep her blocked from society with complete monitoring, when she moves out, it's a whole new world... I'm following most of Europe on this one...
It's better to educate them when you're around to help rather than restrict it, tell them no, then watch it explode in their/your face...
Best of luck to you sir, and I hope you don't find my post to be rude or insensitive... <S>

[Elfie]

Yes, I'm very well aware of the sickos out there, but don't you think you're over-reacting a smidge? Imho (not to sound rude, because I obviously don't know you or your daughter, and either of your mental/emotional states...), a key logger is 1) VERY easy to get around (access program files, boot from a disc, partition etc... etc..., which you may say "she doesn't know", but if a friend were to have come up to me and said, "Somehow, my dad knows what I type, when I type, where I type, and can get a SS, I'd say, "Keylogger, do this to get around it"...) and 2) a blatant disregaurd of privacy... There's keeping her safe, then there's keeping her under lock and key... the 2nd being the worst of the two... if you keep her blocked from society with complete monitoring, when she moves out, it's a whole new world... I'm following most of Europe on this one...
It's better to educate them when you're around to help rather than restrict it, tell them no, then watch it explode in their/your face...
Best of luck to you sir, and I hope you don't find my post to be rude or insensitive... <S>

She doesn't know how to do those things. Even if she did, the computer she does use sits right next to mine and so she can't boot it with a boot disk w/o me seeing.

She also can't access the keylogger because it runs in hidden mode and only I know the key combination and password to open it.

[mechanic]

 Kids always find a way to beat the parents rules. It's the big red button that says 'Dont Push', kids have to push it. Give kids complete freedom, and punish them for their actions rather than punishing them before a fair trial. Thats just my opinion, I'm not even a father myself, so it's worth nothing but there it is.

[Elfie]

Hmmmm I've been watching this thread with interest and feel it's time for my small input.
Elfie I think the keylogger may be a bit much. You're hearts in the right place for trying to protect your daughter but maybe there's a more trusting way to go about it. From what I know there'd be 3 ways sexual predators would try and talk to girls. One would be online chat rooms and games. These aren't very difficult to notice and easy to check. The second would be facebook/myspace and even those have various privacy features and the ability to not accept people as friends. The 3rd would be msn or similar chat service again education would seem better than ironfist keylogging. As a teenager I think she's entitled to at least a bit of privacy to talk about stuff with her friends. A question for you. If she was talking to her friends about sex over something like msn and you caught it with the keylogger would you
A. Read it all and ask her why she's talking about it with her friends instead of her family
B. Read it and if it's harmless allow her to continue to do it but keep checking the keylogger.
C. Read it see that she's talking about sex with her friend (you could check if it was her friend) and allow her to do it with checking.
Just a question. There are nicer ways to enforce the same principles than with an ironfist. They still get the job done and your daughter would be more understanding.
I understand that I don't know or you daughter. This is just based on what I've read.
Kind regards FBClaw

I don't read every word she types. I do check her email to see who she is emailing and who is emailing her. I don't read the contents of the emails to/from her friends. I do check her internet history to see where she has been.

There was an instance in an online game where an individual was involved with sexual innuendo with my daughter. This happened a couple years ago. I would not have known if not for the keylogger. I saw the screen shots and someone new was talking to her. I don't recall exact words but they were not appropriate for a 12 year old. In this case, I talked not only to my daughter but I also contacted the game company and sent them log files and screen shots from the keylogger. (I did that after I contacted the individual in the game and informed him that he was talking to a 12 year old girl. He didn't seem to care how young she was.) I also had yet another talk with my daughter about strangers and this kind of behavior.

It's a process but we are working at it. Hopefully she doesn't end up as an adult as dingy as her mother. 

For now, the keylogger is still necessary. My family has just started communicating via Facebook recently and my wife and I are thinking about allowing her a Facebook account soon and let her start off with people we all trust.

[MrRiplEy[H]]

My daughter doesn't have her own phone, she doesn't have her own laptop to take to school the computer she does use isn't hers. So no, I don't need to check everything she is carrying when she gets home.

As far as privacy laws go, I don't need the government telling me what I can/can't do to protect my own children. I am perfectly capable of making those decisions myself.

Lol I was sure this revelation would come next. So either youre Amish or you've totally gimped your child to live in the early 90's. Doesn't she get ridiculed over this? I'm sure 99% of her friends have their own camera phones, personal computers, handheld devices etc.

Oh, and privacy..

I for one feel much better knowing my kid has his phone when he goes out so he can call for help if something happens.

[VonMessa]

There is no need for all of this silliness.  Many here obviously don't trust their own parenting skills.  I don't monitor or block anything.  My kids are free to watch and listen to whatever they want.  If you instill the correct morals and values in your kids you don't need to. 

Except when they live with another parent most of the time, whose morals are of less than sterling quality.  



Ready?........

Ex Wife:  "Your honor, I believe that Mr. Messa's visitation rights should be revoked because the children have been coming home and telling me about the disgusting filth that their father allows them to view on teh internetz"

Judge X:  "Why, that's deplorable!  I agree Ms. Messa."



So.... Who is the first one here to volunteer to pay my attorney fees?

For me, personally, it's not do much the pron as it is the wack jobs out there.  I totally understand being curious about sex.  It is undeniable human nature and I'm not saying it should be suppressed.  In, addition, teaching them the right things NOW is definitely the way to go, and as soon as I see that they are capable of making the right choices, freedoms will be granted.  Until then, the keylogger stays.

As far as them getting around my security?  Won't happen.  At 8 and 10 years old, I know EVERY move they make.

My childrens' freedom of choice and autonomy is a privilege to be earned, not a right that they are born with.  If that wasn't the case, why dont we let them drive an automobile as soon as they can see over the steering wheel?  

[VonMessa]

Lol I was sure this revelation would come next. So either youre Amish or you've totally gimped your child to live in the early 90's. Doesn't she get ridiculed over this? I'm sure 99% of her friends have their own camera phones, personal computers, handheld devices etc.

Oh, and privacy..

I for one feel much better knowing my kid has his phone when he goes out so he can call for help if something happens.

It is not my responsibility to make sure that my kids are popular.  I'm not their friend.  I am their parent.  We will have plenty of time to be friends when they are all grown up, and have their own families.

The only way I am going to "gimp" my kids is to buy for, or let them do, whatever they want.  If we are going to keep up the premise of it helping them grow up in the real world, then nothing will work better than the above.  In fact, it will prepare them better than me just opening my wallet at their every whim, because nothing in life is free.  The faster they learn this concept, the better prepared they will be.

I feel just as safe that I have an 800 number for my business that my kids can call from anywhere, anytime.  It wont get lost or stolen, and the batteries will never need a charge.

You want a phone? Get a job.  You want a car?  Same answer.  You want privacy?  Prove to me that you are mature enough to handle the responsibility.

[VonMessa]

No offence intended Elfie, most people in Britain consider under-age sexual activity and mild pornography to be alot less harmfulll than firearms.  I think most people are forgetting that a few hundred years ago girls would be married off and probably pregnant by the age of 14.

As to your parenting skills? Thats up to you sir, I'm not commenting on that at all, just the fact that you say I could be arrested for letting my kids look at some boobs.

If 12/13 year old children having children is a product of this philosophy, then maybe it should be reconsidered.  Please don't make me reference the current event story of which I am referring to, it's late here, and I'm sure you know what I am talking about.

And, BTW, you guys drive on the wrong damn side if the road     

[OOZ662]

There was an instance in an online game where an individual was involved with sexual innuendo with my daughter. This happened a couple years ago. I would not have known if not for the keylogger. I saw the screen shots and someone new was talking to her. I don't recall exact words but they were not appropriate for a 12 year old. In this case, I talked not only to my daughter but I also contacted the game company and sent them log files and screen shots from the keylogger. (I did that after I contacted the individual in the game and informed him that he was talking to a 12 year old girl. He didn't seem to care how young she was.) I also had yet another talk with my daughter about strangers and this kind of behavior.

I believe I just found a rough description of AH CH200 and range vox. Usually (but not always) lacking the sexual aspect. Better call the Party Van...
(I'd link it on Encyclopedia Dramatica, but they've got a huge inappropriate picture up on the page now. )

[MrRiplEy[H]]

I feel just as safe that I have an 800 number for my business that my kids can call from anywhere, anytime.  It wont get lost or stolen, and the batteries will never need a charge.

You want a phone? Get a job.  You want a car?  Same answer.  You want privacy?  Prove to me that you are mature enough to handle the responsibility.

I'm under the impression Elfie doesn't allow her to have a phone 'for her own good'. What is that 800 number going to do for your kid if he/she is running away from or hiding from a predator or other kids harassing them? They'd be pretty lucky to get attacked in a phone booth - which don't even exist anymore.

[VonMessa]

Well I will console myself with the fact that, once they are old enough to be left out of my sight and roam the world freely, they will be old enough to be worried about having a cell phone.(and a tazer)   

[WMLute]

I used to date a girl in school whose father would take the door to her bedroom off the hinge when she had company (a.k.a. boys) until she was 18.  He also showed me two of his possessions when I first met him.   One was a Colt .45, the other a shovel              Extreme?  Probably..  Effective?  Very. 

One girl I dated back in high school had a very protective father.  Former Green Beret from Vietnam (2 tours, MACVSOG) and police officer in the homicide unit.  She was 15, I was 16, and I was her first boyfriend.  She had a 4.6 GPA (on a 4.0 scale.  2nd highest in the school) and her life was family, Church, and school in that order (until I showed up of course).

On our very first date I was invited into the kitchen and was sat down at the kitchen table where her father had every single gun he owned laid out and he was "cleaning" them (shotguns, pistols, AR-15, etc).  It was a not so subtle hint to me on how what might happen if I treated his daughter poorly.

Towards the end of the interview he picked up a Colt 1911.  The slide was off, and looking down the barrel he pointed it in my general direction and asked "have you ever looked down the barrel of a .45 before son?". Followed immediately by, "What time are you bringing home my little girl tonight".

Her curfew was 11pm, and I of course told him, "10 pm sir".  That apparently was the correct response.

I will not go into any further details about what it was like dating a young lady brought up in a strict household as it would probably give a few people in this thread nightmares.

[mensa180]

There is no need for all of this silliness.  Many here obviously don't trust their own parenting skills.  I don't monitor or block anything.  My kids are free to watch and listen to whatever they want.  If you instill the correct morals and values in your kids you don't need to. 

This is what my parents do, I hope I can be some sort of example that it works.

[mechanic]

If 12/13 year old children having children is a product of this philosophy, then maybe it should be reconsidered.  Please don't make me reference the current event story of which I am referring to, it's late here, and I'm sure you know what I am talking about.

And, BTW, you guys drive on the wrong damn side if the road     

Show me the parent who would rather thier daughter was shot and killed by a firearm than made pregnant at a young age.

 

[VonMessa]

If I teach my daughter how to properly use a firearm, the pregnancy point becomes moot.