We are the most ancient and advanced beings in the galaxy.
Everyone else are even more stupid than we are.
You say that in jest, but it's a definite possibility. We're orbiting one of the older stars with a decent chance at bearing life in the immediate region, and odds of anyone swinging by here drop drastically the further away their home is.
From half war across the galaxy, that stupid plasma ball of ours probably looks pretty unremarkable.
And there's nothing to say aliens necessarily solved their problems better than us. They might have nuked each other the second they heard about Uranium.