excuses you tried to get you out of tickets

[texasmom]

Wrag's Mercedes joke made me wonder what other excuses/lies/efforts are out there in trying to avoid a ticket.

If you're a cop, post the best one you ever heard (and as a result, did you let them off w/a warning?).

If you're an offender, post the best effort you put forth with an excuse (and as a result, did you get off w/a warning?).

Here's mine:  I've only been pulled over twice in my life. Once for a burned out tail light (I paid the fine).  The other time, I don't know what it was for.  Right after I pulled over, the bank I was next to was being robbed, so the cop left.

[bsdaddict]

the only time I talked myself out of a ticket I used the "I really gotta take a dump" excuse.  verbal warning, have a nice day!  

[SteveBailey]

Had a real lean problem with the car.. like it had a really bad vacuum leak. Finally found out what it is. All the bolts on my intake manifold... all of them, were loose... really only finger tight. At a friend's house, tightened them all down and hoped to fix the problem. No luck, driving home the car would lean out to the point of missing and back firing unless I was at full throttle or complete idle. The only way I could leave a light without stalling was at full throttle.

Then, Westbound at Camelback and Dysart roads(rural setting near farmland), I launched from the light at full throttle.. was doing 65 immediately.... then the lights came on a ways behind me. I didn't see the cop. I pull over and the now blown intake gasket is leaking oil onto the the headers... significant smoke. Cop asks for DL only. Interior is graphite. wallet is black and it's 10 o'clock at night. I can't find my wallet!!! Cop shines light and gets a good look at interior... no weapons on board( I carry some times) with his help I find my wallet, pass over DL.
Cop takes my DL, and asks me what the heck I'm doing. I figured "what the heck" and told him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He replies, "Well it seems to idle fine and did you need to be going 65 MPH?" I stuckwith the truth, told him about the lean problem again and confessed that "You got me there, I was up to 65 before I knew it."
He said, "You are driving recklessly." I said nothing... dread at what this was going to cost me had me by the normally glib tongue. Cop looks at my gauges..."This a race car?" Sticking to the truth but immediately worried I said too much: "No sir, but I'd like to race it when it's running right, there's a track right by my house, up in Surprise." Cop takes a long look at my tires, "Are these street legal?" Reply, "Yessir, they are Goodyears and fully legal and intended for street use."
Cop circles my car.....3 times. He is not admiring it, IMHO, he is giving it a good look to make sure there's no problems. All lights are in working order. *phew*

Cop approaches my window, my DL still in hand. I am literally preparing to undo my seatbelt and step out of the car as I'm sure I'm going to have a seat in the back of the squad.
Cop hands me my license and says, "You need to slow down around here. This place is crawling w/ sheriffs and they will write you up. Reply, "Yessir, thanks for your leniency." Cop gives no reply, returns to his squad, turns 180 and drives off. I felt really unlucky about my intake woes.. but am I really?

[eskimo2]

I’ve talked my way out of more tickets than I can count.  Actually one time I did count and it was about a 4:1 ratio.  One time I was pulled over twice in one day.  The first time I was picking up a friend at the airport at about 2:00 AM; I was heading home in my VW van on the airport frontage road and was passing a string of cars when an airport cop pulled me over.  (Note: this van had A-Team written on the side, had a big giant furry Mohawk on the roof and a big picture of Mr. T on the nose.)  He asked me why I passed so many cars and if I knew that I was speeding.  I said that I went to pass the first car because it was slow, and there wasn’t room to get in between it and the car in front of it so I kept accelerating until I was ahead of the entire group of cars.  I told him that it wasn’t a very smart thing to do and apologized and promised to drive more safely.  I think he let me go because I was respectful.  

Late the same day, but in the evening, I was heading home in my VW Bug (this thing was checkered black and white all over and terribly obnoxious looking).  I was on a one-way each-direction street and was going to turn onto the same kind of street.  I was going about 50mph, the speed limit was 45.  This intersection had great visibility, you could see maybe ˝ mile each direction.  There was only one car in sight and it was pretty far down the road I was turning onto.  It looked perfectly safe to oversteer around, so I did.  It was a nice, full-lock full-throttle drift.  As I straightened out the one car way down the road turned it’s rollers on.  I pulled over and he swung around behind me.  He asked me how fast I was going.  I said, “45 mph.”  He said, “How fast is the speed limit on this road?”  I said, “45 mph”.  He asked about the road I came off of and I gave the same answer.  He asked why I took the corner so fast.  I answered that I knew that I could and I saw that no one was in the immediate area.  He lectured me for a few minutes and I listened very respectfully and confirmed that I would drive more safely in the future.  He let me go.

[Airscrew]

Mountain Home AFB Idaho, 1987.   Wife and I lived in town, about a 10 mile commute to the base.   There are basically two routes through town to get to the base.   One goes through the middle of town (35mph speed limit, 3 traffic lights) and the other goes around the edge of town past the sawmill and a residential area (25mph to 35mph to 45mph and no traffic lights)  .  Normally we would just go through the middle of town.  This particular morning we were running a little late and I had patients to setup for before 730 and didnt want to be late for work.    I decided to take the "shortcut" to shave some minutes off and get ahead of the line of cars headed to work.   I'm in the 25mph zone, turn the corner and up ahead is the sign for the 35mph zone and I know shortly after that is the 45 mph zone.  I accelerate up to 45mph and just before I hit the speed of light I look at the intersection for the road that turns off to the sawmill and there was a Mtn Home city cop.  He hits the lights, I pull over.   He asks me if I know what the speed limit there is, I said "35" not as a question but as if it was a fact.  He says "no sir, speed limit is 25, its not 35 until you pass the road to the sawmill"  But I clocked you at 45."  me "I was? wow sorry, I guess I wasnt paying attention, sorry sir"  I give him my Texas DL,  "hey, you're from Texas?"  "Yep, Near Austin",  "Wow me too, near Dallas"  we yuck it up for a couple of minutes.  He hands me my license back and tells me to be more careful.  My wife gets real disgusted that I didnt get a ticket.

[-Concho-]

I had a guy disregard a yeild sign and nearly hit my patrol car, he used the I need to poop bit.

I followed him to the service station and wrote out a ticket while he was in the bathroom.

[culero]

Originally posted by -Concho-
I had a guy disregard a yeild sign and nearly hit my patrol car, he used the I need to poop bit.

I followed him to the service station and wrote out a ticket while he was in the bathroom.

~golf clap~

[Airscrew]

Originally posted by -Concho-
I had a guy disregard a yeild sign and nearly hit my patrol car, he used the I need to poop bit.

I followed him to the service station and wrote out a ticket while he was in the bathroom.

well if I almost hit a DPS car I would need to poop too, then again, I might have already pooped.  

[Helrazr1]

The only thing that has ever gotten me out of tickets is being respectful.  A few times now, I was passed by an officer going the opposite direction, and as soon as they even started to turn around, I pulled over and turned on my hazard lights, before they were even turned around.  After being very respectful, and admitting to what I did wrong, I was told that the only reason that I wasn't getting a ticket is because I didn't make them chase me down, and that I was respectful to them.  

Since my wife is a dispatcher for the Sheriff's Dept, I know most of the department, and they all say the same thing: One sure fire way to get a ticket is to be a smartprettythang.

[Hornet33]

I've never tried to talk my way out of a ticket but have gotten out of them by being respectfull and not giving the officers any crap.

I did help a kid get a ticket awhile back though:D  Some punk Navy kid pulled up beside me at a light. I was in the right hand lane and there was a cop sitting at the intersection. Anyway this kid didn't see the cop and he's reving his engine and giving me the old "Lets go" look. I held the brakes on my truck and goosed it a bit so it would jump and then looked over at the cop. He's looking at me with this "your not going to do what I think your going to do" look on his face. I looked back over at this kid and gave him a nod. Light turned green and this kid roasts his tires all the way through the intersection while I sat at the light and let the cop pull out in front of me.

I had to honk the horn and wave as I passed by a block up the road. The cop was laughing and the kid was flipping me the bird. O'well I hate those punks with their little rice burner cars with a trash can muffler hanging out the back. I'm sure the spoiler the size of a garage door really helps on a front wheel drive car. Idiots.

[mandingo]

MY WIFE IS PREGNANT!

[Vulcan]

Originally posted by Hornet33
I've never tried to talk my way out of a ticket but have gotten out of them by being respectfull and not giving the officers any crap.

I used to be like that.

Now NZ cops are on an 'unofficial' quota system for tickets. About 5 or 6 yaars back I got one of 'those' tickets, you know the ones where it finally dawns on you not all cops are honest.

Next time I get stopped I will be recording the conversation (perfectly legal here) and asking for all the specifics of what the cop did to get my speed (range, angle off, weather conditions) and getting them noted. I will be going off the smartass scale.

Hasn't happened since the last ticket though, good radar-detector/laser jammer combo sees to that. (plus since getting a diesel I tend to cruise within 10-15% of the limit).

[Maverick]

Vulcan,

I assume you are implying you didn't do what you were cited for.

I had more than a few folks try that kind of situation on me. The only response they got was to be told to contest the ticket if they wished, We would not have a trial at the street. Period.

I didn't care a whit if someone contested a ticket I wrote. I got paid to go to court as well. If it were off duty I got paid even more.

I didn't write bad tickets and didn't have to worry about what the consequences of any ticket I wrote would be. There were plenty of violations to be seen so I didn't have to make up a darn thing. I did find it amusing to hear and see what some folks would do to try and get out of a ticket. It never ceased to amaze me the number of folks who figured I was going to let them off because they were rude, argumentative, abusive, assaultive or just a plain pain in the butt.

The folks I did let go were those who were adult enough to admit they could and did make a mistake. A ticket isn't the end of the world and if that's the worst thing that ever happens to a person they will have had a very sedate life.

I got a ticket myself. I was speeding and I paid the fine. No big deal.

[eagl]

I was heading back to Mt Home from San Diego, and was taking the 2-lane shortcut from Vegas straight north that bypasses 15 and Salt Lake City.  In good weather, it cuts about 3 hours off the trip.

The speed limit however was 65 due to the 2 lane highway construction.  I was driving a brand new obnoxious red trans-am with 1100 miles on the odometer, but I was being sane and had the cruise control set at 74.  Way up ahead I could see a chevy blazer-looking sort of truck entering the highway and turning towards me, but since I'd been on freeways for the previous 6 hours I was looking for cop cars, not cop TRUCKS.  I also hadn't seen a single other car for maybe 2 hours, except for a tiny little town that may have been abandoned since I didn't see anyone there.  My radar detector went off but the radio was up too loud.  Then his lights came on with him still about half a mile away.  Oops.

I immediately tapped the brakes and slowed to exactly the 65 speed limit, on the assumption that if he turned to follow me, I'd stop but maybe he was just... you know, in a hurry to keep heading the other direction  As soon as my speed dropped and stabilized at 65 though, he turned off the lights and we waved at each other on the way past.

I suspect he was just happy I didn't floor it and run, since there probably wasn't another cop for 200 miles and there were plenty of side-roads I could have taken once I disappeared over the horizon at 150mph.  I never talked to him but I think he had the right idea about the whole thing and I was happy to accept the break.

I did eventually bump the cruise control back to 69 just to "stick it to the man" plus my car sort of lugs the engine at 65 in overdrive because it's just a bit too slow for the torque curve to cruise at 1600 rpm.  I never saw another cop the whole trip until I got to some little podunk town on the border that had 15 cops literally encircling this tiny town, stopping everything that moved.  I dunno what was going on but it was even more activity than the usual sunday night max enforcement effort.  Maybe they caught some smugglers or needed some last minute revenue for their new years party  I crept through there 5 mph slower than the speed limit and still got suspicious looks (26 year old driving a new bright red trans-am tends to get those looks) but I made it through without getting stopped.

[Helrazr1]

Originally posted by mandingo
MY WIFE IS PREGNANT!

CONGRATS AND