Well, my oldest blew it

[Captain Virgil Hilts]

I think ADHD is very over diagnosed. There may be some isolated cases, but you'd think one in ten kids had it if you listened to some of these people. And they prescribe some seriously nasty drugs for it too. When you have to go to the MD.'s office and sign off on the prescription and take it by hand to the pharmacy, that should tell you something.

I've seen improvement every year. More when he has better teachers. That means we'll have tougher times soon, because it's hard even for good teachers to do as much as you get to higher grade levels.

And yeah, my daughter is a polar opposite of my son, who is younger. My daughter is already completing senior level classes in college, in her second year. She'll complete her undergrad stuff almost two years early, and is getting great grades, at the top of her class. She'll get to law school early, and well prepared.

My son is a lot more like me, and my parents didn't push me hard enough. I got the behavior part of it, but the academic part of it they let slide. I learned I could skate through, barely getting by, putting out a limited effort. And I did. I did what I wanted, sports and partying, before any school work. And I went to work to have more money to play around, race, and party. Work got in the way of school, and so did play. So school got dumped, and I failed to learn to put off my wants and take care of my needs and my future. Bad mistake.

[airspro]

Well I read almost all of the replys .

Hmmm , go or not go , that's a hard one , will let you decide . But I will add how I raised my two girls .

Oldest is now a Dr living in Norway with her husband with one daughter and 3 more ( yes triplets ) .

My youngest is a RN , she lives in Wisconsin with her husband and has one daughter that's just now two .

I only went to High School , my wife the same , my Dad only finished 8th grade .

I think school is important , it's a child's "job" till he enters the workforce . I reinforced that all thru school , by doing well at our "jobs" . Going to work on time etc .

I told them life is all about choices , and kept telling them it over and over again . Showing them how other people in life made certain choices and were they ended up in life v how they might do things and how it "might" make there lives better in the long run . It's really his "choice" how he does , IMO the parents job is to make sure he knows that he is the one to make that "choice" .

His choice to do well in school , go to college , get a good job with a bright future , etc . Or just get by , get his girl friend pregnant , get married to her or just pay child support , live off you etc etc .

Mostly it was easy for me to have them to "want" to do well . But my oldest the Dr was mostly the hardest , lots of times I told her to just goof off etc cause if she did I wouldn't have to save for her college money and then could get a NEW BIG FANCY TRUCK like you have

As it turned out she did very well and I had to drive my 1986 Ford Ranger pickup till 2002 when my youngest got done with Michigan State . It worked for me , telling her that it would cost me more for her to do well , lmao . Sometimes you have to do whatever works .

I can't tell you how to raise your kids , but that's how I did mine . I have two trophy daughters and I get to brag on them all the time . Do they love me ? Very much , I never never have to tell them what me and my wife did without to make sure that their "choice" to do well was there .

So IMO show him whats out there if he doesn't do the work , and let him make his own choice somewhat .

Good luck to you sir , as I have said many many times , raiseing childern to take care of themselves is the hardest job I or most have ever taken on .

Sincerely
spro

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
The corrective behavior plan (CBP--I love acronyms!) I will implement beginning today will be a daily report and daily homework status that he'll begin reporting to me.  Of course, there will be take-aways for negative values (grades going down, or assignments not turned in) however there will be incentives for improvement too.  I've already created a spread sheet that he'll complete each day for his status reporting.

I'm going to try to manage this like a failing project. I've revived a few failing projects, and  perhaps its time for alittle "Daddy Project Management".

Update:
The oldest boy has been doing well! He's been doing his status on his grades nightly and working very hard.
His midterm grades came in the mail today.

B in Math
B- in Science
A- in Social Studies
B- in Language Arts
A- in Reading
B+ in Gym (can't believe he doesn't have an A in this, being the jock he is)

Things are looking up! I just hope he stays consistent.

The youngest son is "Mr.Consistent". His grades were all outstanding!

[AWMac]

Congrats Rip!!!!

And a Big Salute to your Son!!!!   <<>>



Good Stuff here.

Mac

[Maverick]

Congrats to your kids and S to you for being a Dad instead of just the bio mass contributor.

[eskimo2]

Good deal, glad it worked.  What grade is he?  
Our junior high students have six core classes and five specials.  Our elementary students have ten core classes and five specials.

[Tigeress]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
Update:
The oldest boy has been doing well! He's been doing his status on his grades nightly and working very hard.
His midterm grades came in the mail today.

B in Math
B- in Science
A- in Social Studies
B- in Language Arts
A- in Reading
B+ in Gym (can't believe he doesn't have an A in this, being the jock he is)

Things are looking up! I just hope he stays consistent.

The youngest son is "Mr.Consistent". His grades were all outstanding!

Cool, Rip!

Just goes to show what some well intended and sage Fatherly advice and postive motivation can do!

TIGERESS

[AKIron]

Well done to you and your son Rip. Hang in there as there are little doubt more challenges ahead.

[Ripsnort]

Thanks for the feedback once again in the thread.

Eskimo, 6th grade, which is "Middle school" here. (Middle school is 6/7/8th, Junior high is 9th and 10, and Senior high is 11th and 12th)

[Meatwad]

Here it was

grade school - K-4
middle school - 5
Jr High - 6-8
High - 9-12

[AKIron]

To all you parents of preteens, if you thought you lost some sleep when they were first born wait until they start driving.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by Meatwad
Here it was

grade school - K-4
middle school - 5
Jr High - 6-8
High - 9-12

I went to a school in Greenbrook, N.J. (for 2 years) where they had a "High School" that was 7th through 12th grade. I learned how to fight dirty in that school....

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by AKIron
To all you parents of preteens, if you thought you lost some sleep when they were first born wait until they start driving.

GPS-enabled cell phones.

[DREDIOCK]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
I went to a school in Greenbrook, N.J. (for 2 years) where they had a "High School" that was 7th through 12th grade. I learned how to fight dirty in that school....

New Jersey.
"Where the weak are killed and eaten"

Things everyone learns in Jersey schools

Rule # 1
 ANYTHING can start a fight. From looking at someone too hard. To saying hello the wrong way.

Rule # 2 in Jersey schools, Learn how to fight well. Run VERY fast. Or to learn to love pain and getting your face kicked in

Rule # 3. If you "Just walk away" like your mamma told you.
you will only get beaten worse

Rule # 4. Being a tattle tale and running to the teacher or principle for help with a bully will only result in not only pissing the bully off, But all his..and quite possibly, your friends as well. Resulting in many arse whoopings instead of just the one
People will still like and respect you after you get your arse kicked. But nobody respects a snitch.

Rule #5  And most important
There are no Marquess of Queensberry rules in a streetfight.
Strike first, strike hard and strike not just to hurt, but to devistate