Well, my oldest blew it

[SFRT - Frenchy]

If you let him "pulling off something in the last 48h" you are sending the message that it's ok to be a slaker 95% of the time, as long as you shine just enought to save the day. Granteed it's how most live their life by, it is still not something you wish your kid takes as a life habit.

[M36]

Wrong. It's updated on a *DAILY basis, with a date.  It's a requirement in this school district by the principal.

Thats good!!!!! Our school district had the same rule, and grades were supposed to be updated daily. And yes, some teachers were behind two weeks on these updates, regardless of what the rules were. And yes, I had to make calls to the principle about it. My post was only from my experience with a school district that use to be a good when we first moved into it in '92. It has since then gone down hill.

[Motherland]

Early in a marking period is no time to be worried about grades. Due to the small amount of points that you have at that point, really little things can adversly affect a grade. Ive brought up a 33% in an early quarter to a low A by the end,  providing no more effort than I normally do (not making up the assignments, not 'studying extra hard', etc). It seems that people dont realise this sometimes.

[SkyRock]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
We'd started planning this hunting trip for Thanksgiving Week-end last July, as he began his hunter safety course and passed. Joined a local skeet & Trap club, began practicing on trap every other week-end for about 8 weeks.  He got a new gun, new hunting clothes... and his grades were a struggle in the fall. He did get 2 A's, 2 B's, but also had 2 C's which *were* D's right before the quarter ended in early November.  Last minute work bumped those D's up into the C range.  

So, I'm checking his grades online last night, and he's failing Language & Arts class, 61% score. Granted, its early in the 2nd quarter, but this is no excuse as he just didn't do the work (or in this case, turn the assignment in on time)  He's not dumb. He just doesn't do the work and procrastinates.

So I clipped his wings on the hunting trip. I'm bringing my younger son instead (who is doing great in school, but he will not hunt, just tag along).  This devastated Gordon last night.  I was really pissed.  I probably overreacted, made him feel bad that all this planning and preparation was all for naught because of his lack of action in his school work.

I feel today like I was too tough on him, but dammit, I have high expectations, and for something as easy as just doing the work, turning it in, its not asking for much.

I told him he's got two days (by Wed) to see if he can pull out some sort of miracle and get that grade up above a 70% by Wed. Talk to the teacher, ask her what you can do to get it up by Wed.

He's so inconsistent...he'll get straight A's in any given subject then not turn in an assignment (with just about any excuse  you can think of ) and drop that A average down to a C in one flail swoop.  It just pisses me off to no end.


Think I was too tough on him?

Are you staying home yourself?  Do you check nightly to see if he has completed all of his assignments?  

He will only procrastinate what you let him procrastinate!  Children need hard parenting when it comes to instilling good work ethic, and although I think your intentions are meant well, it is your responsibility to make sure he is doing the work.......that is, if you place high expectations on him.  (some children age into a good work ethic and some are naturals, some of the best and brightest were procrastinators in middle and high school)

If you do not know what is due and when, then demand his teachers send home a work checklist everynight.  That way, he knows he can't procrastinate, and you never have to get mad at him! I do feel your heart is in the right place though!

Mark

[Leslie]

If I had a chance to go hunting, the only thing holding me back would be if I wasn't feeling well that day.  Going hunting is more education for your son.   It probably wouldn't be fun for either of you if you're starting out disappointed.  I'd go and not even bring up anything about school unless it is praise.  The hunting trip should stand alone as a learning experience for both of you, your son in particular, and as a work break for you.  Not making the grade is not a reason for denying the hunting trip.  Misbehavior would be, and that is what should not be tolerated.




Les  aka dear Abby:)

[derelict]

If he doesn't pass this time....will you take me.....dad

[culero]

Originally posted by SkyRock
snip
If you do not know what is due and when, then demand his teachers send home a work checklist everynight.

Well, could go one step better. Require the student to submit a written checklist every night. That way, you don't ask the teacher to add workload to his/her schedule, but you add accountability and supervision that isn't present now.

This is a great idea, Rip. Its a technique I use in managing the team of managers I'm responsible for. Each one of them is not only clear as to what my expectations are, but they know they are responsible to report to me in real time as to exactly what they are doing to meet those expectations. It gives me a chance to monitor each manager's area and prompts me to give them guidance when I see things that expose their individual shortcomings. I find its a great help in keeping me on my own toes in terms of making sure I help my people develop.

You could put this to advantage with your son by making sure you comment to him each day on some aspect of his work assignments, choosing the one each day that gives you an opportunity to relate in ways tailored to his needs. I'm sure that the more positive interest you show him, the more motivated he will be to excel. People respond best when their leaders are apparently interested and engaged with them on a level that is tailored to personal attributes. Who better to fulfill that role - teacher or you?

[SkyRock]

Originally posted by culero
Well, could go one step better. Require the student to submit a written checklist every night. That way, you don't ask the teacher to add workload to his/her schedule, but you add accountability and supervision that isn't present now.

This is a great idea, Rip. Its a technique I use in managing the team of managers I'm responsible for. Each one of them is not only clear as to what my expectations are, but they know they are responsible to report to me in real time as to exactly what they are doing to meet those expectations. It gives me a chance to monitor each manager's area and prompts me to give them guidance when I see things that expose their individual shortcomings. I find its a great help in keeping me on my own toes in terms of making sure I help my people develop.

You could put this to advantage with your son by making sure you comment to him each day on some aspect of his work assignments, choosing the one each day that gives you an opportunity to relate in ways tailored to his needs. I'm sure that the more positive interest you show him, the more motivated he will be to excel. People respond best when their leaders are apparently interested and engaged with them on a level that is tailored to personal attributes. Who better to fulfill that role - teacher or you?

I agree culero, but was mentioning that because it is already required by the NCLB.  Granted, the No Child Left Behind Act had good intentions, but you would not believe what it requires of teachers.  By reading it, one might even get the idea that it is the teachers fault that ripsnorts son skipped out on his assignment!:aok

[ClevMan]

I remember when I was in high school.  I was in the same boat as your son. I was capable of making A's, but I only had the self-discipline to make A's on tests and never turn in HW, effective making the A's become C's.

My Dad told me that if I get a C in Geometry, I would have to hang my rifle up for the rest of the hunting season...  I never thought he'd do it, but sure enough, he did...

I have always been a "the best lessons are the ones learned the hard way" type of person.  Maybe your son is the same way.

I know I learned my lesson when my dad stuck to his guns and kept me out of the tree stand.  I certainly think you did the right thing...  Keep it up!

Just my $.02...

[Ripsnort]

FYI, he had his retake. Scored the highest possible for a re-take (80%) which brought his overall grade up.  Due to his studying last night, he totally forgot about a science paper that was due and got an F on it today.  It lowered his overall grade down in Science. I just got off the phone with him after berating him up and down.

I'm at wits end.

It's time to create a daily status sheet that  he will be accountable to report to me each night before bed. Then I'm going to have him pull his grades off the web on a daily basis and report the delta to me.  

He'll learn, one way or another, he'll learn.

[JB88]

have you re-grounded him for the hunting trip?

[Golfer]

I think this is exactly the reason why I wouldn't be a proponent of insta-grades being made available to parents immediately.  ESPECIALLY this early in a grading period.  He has the potential to, tomorrow, get a 90% on his science paper but instead all he hears about is the 0 today from his folks.

I'm sure he feels worse about the paper than you do knowing what's on the line and if he doesn't than the hunting trip didn't mean enough to him in the first place.  Trust me when I say he's learning an awful lot right now and not just about whatever his science paper will be on.

Give the kid to friday and you yourself don't look at the computer grades until then.  That's where you'll make the decision and hear the case if something isn't up to snuff.

I don't like that high school is about getting the busywork done rather than actually helping the kids walk out with an education.  There's more to education and learning than doing the busywork, IMHO.  He's learning and he's learning fast Rip.

[Ripsnort]

The F was in a daily homework assignment (currently this thing called a "Moon Calendar" where they just look up what phase the moon is in, and color a moon calendar chart)  This is a roll up to many assignments that account for 40% of the overall Science grade.  I probably won't hold him back from the trip over this, but I'm certainly going to talk about how small, easy tasks are just as important as larger assignments.

About online grades...I can't imagine waiting 2.5 months only to see a kid is failing a class, or finding out during teacher conferences that they are failing. The instant online grades allows to correct for behavior before bad habits take over.  

The corrective behavior plan (CBP--I love acronyms!) I will implement beginning today will be a daily report and daily homework status that he'll begin reporting to me.  Of course, there will be take-aways for negative values (grades going down, or assignments not turned in) however there will be incentives for improvement too.  I've already created a spread sheet that he'll complete each day for his status reporting.

I'm going to try to manage this like a failing project. I've revived a few failing projects, and  perhaps its time for alittle "Daddy Project Management".

[Golfer]

Perhaps try to take yourself down to weekly checkups (if you're not so addicted to the grades already!) and see how that goes.  A lot can happen in a week

Stomp his friday night and weekend into oblivion if he's not up to par.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by Golfer
Perhaps try to take yourself down to weekly checkups (if you're not so addicted to the grades already!) and see how that goes.  A lot can happen in a week

Stomp his friday night and weekend into oblivion if he's not up to par.

Good advice. I'll start with daily for the first two weeks, then weekly if improvement is observed.