If there's two objects colliding, two objects should take damage. Seems pretty cut and dried.
I've read the entire thread, I understand the frustration Steve.
Logically, I don't disagree with you entirely.
However, it's very clear to me that the current system is actually MORE fair when latency/lag/whatever is considered. It is also quite clear that the current system is more likely to discourage the kind of kamikaze griefing that many posters have already pointed out.
We saw a page or so ago that Hitech IS actually reading this thread, I applaud that. But, it's clear that so far, your idea hasn't inspired him to change his system. This tells me that either he finds your idea "lacking" in some important way, or he really doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks. A concept that I reject, his participation in this thread seems to be evidence to the contrary.