What your not accepting bullethead is that AH is not the real world.
Because of differences in lag, what you see is not what he sees.
For a quick real time illistration, next time your flying fairly close to someone, inside 1k.
Ask him how far away you are from him, and at the exact same moment look at how far away you are on Your end.
You'll find that the 2 numbers are almost never the same.
And you'll also find that they vary from day to day.
Example
Day 1, Ghosth looks at Teeerex flying 350 off his right wing, "Hey Teee, how far away am I on your end?"
Teee comes back, Ghost-mon I have you at 475 bro, ya-ya"
Day 2 same scenario, Tee's at 350 off my wing.
Brother Teee, how far away am I today?
Brother Ghosth I am 725 out and closing, lets go get em.
Take that into a collision situation and one pilot doesn't evade in time, so he "see's" the collision, his Aces High Front end detects that 2 aircraft occupied the same space, does damage to your aircraft accordingly. The other guy on his Front end saw a close pass, but avoided the collision. So no damage.
What your asking for is for the guy that avoided the collision, who did not run into the other aircraft, to take the damage as if he had.
Because we are limited to an internet that is not Faster than Light, (FTL) we will always have to deal with a certain amount of lag. What we see is never going to exactly match what the other guy sees.
Read the article on Lag on the trainers side, and keep reading it until you understand why the collision model is the way it has to be.