« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4   Go Down

Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 1141 times)

Offline skorpx1

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1130
Re: Jokes
« Reply #15 on: March 27, 2014, 07:11:26 PM »
Chuck Norris once cut through a hot knife with butter.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Shortly after the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris has a house in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, we call this the Bermuda Triangle. He does not like visitors.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked himself just to see what it felt like.

Chuck Norris has 3 fists, one is always hiding under his beard.

There was once a bridge named Chuck Norris. Everyone that crossed it died, nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives to tell the tale.




Why are there no Bruce Lee jokes? Bruce Lee is no joke.
Logged

Offline XxDaSTaRxx

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1219
Re: Jokes
« Reply #16 on: March 27, 2014, 07:38:04 PM »
"Chuck Norris is so amazing, he once shot down a German Fighter plane with his finger by yelling 'bang!'"
Logged
Quote from: Latrobe
Do not run.
Face your opponent with all you have.
If you die you have something to learn.

Offline Dichotomy

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 12391
Re: Jokes
« Reply #17 on: March 27, 2014, 08:54:46 PM »
What's black and brown and looks good on an ex?

A Rottweiler
Logged
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline mike8318

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 179
Re: Jokes
« Reply #18 on: March 27, 2014, 10:33:02 PM »
An Irishman walks out of a bar.  Hey,it could happen!  :devil
Logged
Don't try and outweird me.I get stranger things than you free in my breakfast cereal!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dKgjtBxyis&feature=youtu.be

Offline 68valu

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 517
Re: Jokes
« Reply #19 on: March 27, 2014, 10:36:52 PM »
Quote from: ink on March 26, 2014, 09:29:59 PM
what does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common :headscratch:



 :lol :lol :lol :D :D :D


   
                                                                                                     68valu











































they both can smell it..yet nether can taste it.
Logged
Flying since tour 84

Offline 68valu

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 517
Re: Jokes
« Reply #20 on: March 27, 2014, 10:38:00 PM »
Quote from: Widewing on March 25, 2014, 11:18:02 PM
What the hell is "Sweetish"?

like a lemonhead candy?


                                                                                                     68valu
Logged
Flying since tour 84

Offline ink

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 11274
Re: Jokes
« Reply #21 on: March 28, 2014, 01:52:23 AM »
Quote from: mike8318 on March 27, 2014, 10:33:02 PM
An Irishman walks out of a bar.  Hey,it could happen!  :devil

you know I am tired of that Irish stereotype :furious












































when I am done my whiskey I am knocking you out. 






























 :D
Logged

Offline MrRiplEy[H]

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 11633
Re: Jokes
« Reply #22 on: March 28, 2014, 06:41:05 AM »
An ad on 'personals' page:

Want to seek relationship with a female.

Should not smoke
Should not curse
Should not want children
Should not have pets
As a matter of fact should not eat or breathe either

- Necro Filippus
Logged
Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. –W. Clement Stone

Offline wpeters

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1647
Re: Jokes
« Reply #23 on: March 28, 2014, 10:02:45 AM »
What did the Leper tell the lady of the evening when he had finished.
























































You can keep the tip
 :rofl :rofl :rofl
« Last Edit: March 28, 2014, 10:40:33 AM by wpeters »
Logged
LtCondor
          The Damned
Fighter pilots are either high, or in the process of getting high.🙊
The difference between Dweebs and non dweebs... Dweebs have kills

Offline Oldman731

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9508
Re: Jokes
« Reply #24 on: March 28, 2014, 10:26:06 AM »
Quote from: wpeters on March 28, 2014, 10:02:45 AM
What did the Leopard tell the lady of the evening when he had finished.


That one's even funnier if you spell it "leper" instead of "leopard."

- oldman

(Also:  Why did the leper colony poker game end so suddenly?  Someone threw his hand in.)
Logged

Offline BluBerry

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1937
Re: Jokes
« Reply #25 on: March 28, 2014, 10:36:40 AM »
What's slimy, cold, long and smells like pork?


























































Kermit the frogs finger.
Logged

Offline skorpx1

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1130
Re: Jokes
« Reply #26 on: March 28, 2014, 05:04:59 PM »
Why did little Sarah fall off the swing?


She had no arms.


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sarah.



What did little Sarah get for Christmas?


Rabies.



Ok now that i'm done being a terrible person we may resume the normal jokes.
Logged

Offline Dichotomy

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 12391
Re: Jokes
« Reply #27 on: March 28, 2014, 05:20:16 PM »
Whats the difference between 100 dead kids and a Ferrari?
















I don't have a Ferrari in my garage





'Man it's kind of scary out here in the woods at night' said the 9 year old boy























'You think it's scary now I have to walk back out alone' said the man
Logged
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline Dragon Tamer

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2047
Re: Jokes
« Reply #28 on: March 28, 2014, 09:17:45 PM »
Wow, this thread has started to go downhill fast...

Can we please change the subject before Skuzzy has to get involved?
Logged

Offline BluBerry

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1937
Re: Jokes
« Reply #29 on: March 28, 2014, 09:21:00 PM »
Quote from: Dragon Tamer on March 28, 2014, 09:17:45 PM
Wow, this thread has started to go downhill fast...

Can we please change the subject before Skuzzy has to get involved?

the topic is jokes.. you started with a very poor one, we are attempting to save this for you.
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4   Go Up
« previous next »