What a great final day for the Memorial Day Peace Conference in Berkeley! Animal, you woulda loved it.
Being the true patriots we are, we start every day with the Pledge of Allegance, which I feel they should reinstate in our public schools, BTW. It had been so long since I had said the Pledge of Allegance that I had forgotten the words-
"I pledge allegance To the Cause
Of the Liberalization of America.
And to the Society we will Create,
One nation, with no rich people,
With Liberty and Justice for all minorities, women and gays."
Of course rather than saluting the flag we burned it, and that caused a debate over rather school children should also burn the flag while saying the Pledge of Allegance. Personally I feel the fire risk outweighs the need to burn the flag in classrooms, but quite a few of my fellow Leftists felt a tragic fire where 30 or so kids are killed while burning an American flag might be the wake up call Middle America needs to see just how lousy the Republicans are.
Our morning workshop on the Exploitation of Women sucked because I had the misfortune to be matched up with my REAL wife. She helped me put on my make up, got me into my bra and pantyhose, then we role played where she made me bring her beers while she watched TV, do the cooking and the laundry and then she made me pretend to like the bad sex I was getting from my drunk "husband." Man, I never knew she had such issues. I never did please her and ended up having to wear a Republican Necklace of Disgrace the rest of the day.
We didn't get split pea soup for lunch after all. Instead we had three day old sprouts, a grape, half an unsalted ricecake and a Freeto. Man, I've never wished porkchops and gravy were a vegetable so bad before in my life.
The afternoon's featured speakers were Wavy Gravy and treesitter Julia "Butterfly" Hill, and I doubt you could find two greater Americans as the last day's speakers. Wavy Gravy entertained us by taking us all on a walk down memory lane with his humorous stories of being high on Acid while driving 25 MPH in the fast lane of the Santa Monica Freeway and Butterfly? Well, what can I say? Julia Hill is a modern-day Joan of Arc. It was great to see such wonderful Americans.
We ended the Conference by holding hands and singing our anthem- "Ohio" by Crosby, Stills and Nash, and the words that have empowered our Movement since they were written-
"Tin soldiers and Nixon's coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio."
Peace and love,
Elfie
