Recreate yourself.
You wanna be dead? BANG! You're dead.
Well not really. Just the guy you used to be is dead.
Now you've got to get a new identity, maybe rebuild your life into the way you think it should be. What needs to be changed? Get a new job, after all, you can't keep being your old self at your old job. Don't have a job? Go get one. After all, your old self was unemployed. The guy you want to be will need some walking-around money so he can get the things your old self wished he had.
Ok, so take stock of what you have that you can carry over into your new identity. Count your friends, your family, unless you think they're holding you back, keeping you from being your new self. You'll also need a direction. What does your new self want to do? You certainly don't want to make the mistakes your old self made. Otherwise, you might as well just be your old self.
My 4-year-old nephew is interesting. He's got these Lego building blocks. He'll spend time building up this giant conglomeration of pieces and set it on the coffee table. Eventually, someone will knock into the table and topple his project, sending it into bits and pieces. He'll cry about it, and wail about how his project was ruined. And then I'll show him how to make it better, sturdier, so he can build the project taller and bigger. Then, that's just what he does. Until it topples over again and he creates something new.
Maybe that's what you need to do. Just pick up the pieces and build something better.
Maybe you just need get involved in a different project, or a new hobby. Go out and try different things. It's my opinion that too much time online can be pretty depressing.
