I'm pretty sure your assumption isn't correct. There are loads of people who've been in situations way beyond anything they can cope with and died as a result. Of course you might answer that 'then that is the will of God'. It still means that they were in a situation they weren't capable of handling.
My point is you knew the answer a Christian would have to give because you were raised in the church... hence, I assume you already knew this information.
If God puts you in a situation where you struggle, you do have the responsibility to try to overcome, but you are also supposed to have faith in God regardless. The outcome of faith isn't that you'll always be healed, or that there will always be a happy ending (on earth). Don't ever forget a Christian is supposed to set his/her eyes on a higher prize, and forsake the world and its tempations for faith. Sometimes, however, your personal suffering has a ripple effect, and your actions through that crisis can be a catalyst for growth in faith for those around you.
My father was alcoholic, my step-father alcoholic and abusive. Life growing up was... interesting. In the fullness of time I grew up and later met my birth father again- some 22 years after he had abandoned my family. We struggled when he left (he left four kids and two of my aunts and uncles my orphaned mother was trying to raise), and there often wasn't much food to be had. I watched my mother refuse any welfare, and refused to allow her brothers and sisters be taken from her and placed in foster homes. She made it, one day at a time.
Anyway... when I met "dad" again, I had every right to hate him. What I'd personally gone through as a result of his abandonment could have made me very bitter and yet... it didn't. I knew it had all happened for a reason. By watching my mother, I learned how to persevere and not look for the easy way out. I learned about sacrifice for your family- real sacrifice. Unfortunately I also learned about abusive step-parents, but even that has application in my life today. I deal with kids all the time that have abusive situations, and I can very much relate to what they are going through.
And there's more. Birth dad and I met several times in the following years, and he went to his grave expressing regret for what he had done. He didn't blame my mother once for anything, though it would have been easy to do so. Dad had found another wife later in his life and came to know God. He quit drinking, turned his life around, and began reaching out to others in need in his community. What I learned from him was you cannot turn away from your responsibilities, regardless of the immediate cost- the long-term cost is much higher.
Step-dad, as it turned out, had a medical reason for his temper- extremely high blood pressure. Once he began to take medicine to control the blood pressure, he became quite normal. He remained an atheist to the end, but he was human and normal and a loving father and husband, and I mourned his passing. What did I learn from him? He was the most consistant man I ever met, and true to himself. He didn't make apologies for what he was. Believe it or not, I learned how to discipline (and how not to) from him.
So... how do I feel about my whole childhood? Thankful to God. I am what I am today because of the experience, and though not all of it was pleasant (or unpleasant), it was all necessary. I can see looking back how intricately it has all been woven together, I see the plan. I can thank God for the good and the bad in it. Nothing was by chance.
