Rip, I'm right there with you on the fence.
On one hand, i think it is a HUGE problem that entertainment for kids today is video games and 'hot stuff'. And kids aren't really kids anymore - they're tiny immature adults. Being cool and wearing the right clothes is as important to a 7-9 year old today as it was to a 13-14 year old when I was a teenager - and that is less than 15 years ago.
They're growing fat. More noticeably is an apparent contradiction - they want to be small adults, but on the other hand the instant fix of video games and poor parenting means that they crave Instant Gratification to an even larger degree than my generation did. And with career and persoanl life being the paramount concern (the hip way) for people/parents, the parents compensate with their lack of engagement by buying a plethora of things that can keep the kid occupied while the parents are out 'realizing themselves'.
I ran around playing war, climbing trees, building tree huts. Never cared about my clothes which frequently had grass and dirt on 'em. Always had a bruise or a cut somewhere. Lots of sport - tennis, soccer, badminton.
Today, it's Counter Strike and what was previously a teenage fixation on clothes and belonging to a particular group. Pre-teens talking about 'images'.
But that's development - every new generation of kids is the worst
. However, from a pure physical point of view, it ain't healthy to play computer games. From a mental POV, they aren't mature to deal with the race for clothes and popularity at that age - that should be triggered by puberty.
Rip, I personally do not believe you should outright ban it. Have a friend who doesn't even let her kids watch TV. Total bans are ok if you can expect 100% respect and understanding of your decision. If you can't, resentment will grow. Some of the stuff my parents (father in particular) did has left some deep patches of resentment in me. My personal experience has told me that too stern a father is just as bad as too lenient a one - if not worse.
I mean, I got problems with authority figures. At the same time I have this need to placate everyone - to meet everyones expectations. And in my mind what I have to live up to is much much more than what people really expect of me. And then there's a counter reaction on that. Not wanting to please anyone - growing hatred yadda yadda yadda.
What I'm saying; if you are too stern, your son will end up flying German planes, having a huge arse, and wearing pink g-strings with metal studs on the inside. And revealing far too personal things on a public BBS just because the possibility of similar consequences exist.
From what I've learned about you on this BBS, I gather you're a good, caring parent that'll brainwash your kid in a generally positive manner (brainwash is just a synonym for 'to raise'
). (that's the 'be nice to people everyone must like you' side). On the other hand, your incessant unrealistic demands and your attempts to realize YOUR goals through your kid, essentially living through him are barbaric and you're a total amazinhunk who should be shot with the wide rounds side of a square watermelon. You can guess what side that is.
