You Might be a Leftist If . . .
By Marc Levin
FrontPageMagazine.com | October 8, 2003
-You believe John Ashcroft poses a greater danger to America than Osama bin Laden tie
-You think President Bush lied to the nation but his predecessor did not. they both did...there politicians for feks sake
-You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy. there all pretty stupid
-You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities can ever succeed without Affirmative Action.
they arnt and they probably can...if they would let them
-You can't decide which is worse: the Patriot Act or the Patriot Missile.
patriot missile...
-You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Yasser Arafat were fairly and democratically elected, but President Bush was not.
they werent...he wasnt...he was appointed...
-You root for prisoners when they escape from our oppressive prisons, but oppose allowing poor children to escape from failing public schools.
the prisons arnt oppressive enough...i blame the oh so very high costs of private school...that and rap

-You support every kind of "diversity" on campus, except political orientation.
its all good
-You support banning the smoking of tobacco and legalizing marijuana.
legalize it all...d00d
-You are enraged by the so-called mistreatment of Muslim prisoners (who have gained weight while dining on their specially prepared Koran-approved meals) at Guantanamo Bay, but believe the world should have stood idly by while Saddam Hussein filled mass graves.
im not enraged...they shouldent have...but they should have come up with some real evidence...
-You have found where the right to an abortion is written in the Constitution but cannot find where the Constitution provides for a right to keep and bear arms.
its not in the constitution but theres a law that allows it somewhere in there...its the right to bear arm as a part of a well formed militia...wich isnt needed since the british reinvasion plan hsa gone under

-You support campus speech codes that ban pick-up lines and amorous gazes, but never spoke out against President Clinton's physical sexual harassment in the White House.
they can do what they want...there isnt any public outcry when john doe does the same...
-You applauded Jimmy Carter for talking about human rights in foreign policy but opposed George W. Bush for doing something about human rights.
i did...throwing them out the window isnt applaudable (i beleive he said there should be limits to freedom at some point...bastard)
-You believe that trial lawyers taking 33 to 40 percent of a plaintiff's recovery in lawsuits is just about right, but the federal government taking this amount of our income in taxes is not nearly enough.
its not, its more than enough up here in canada
-You believe the former Governor of a New England state with 608,827 people is more than adequately experienced to be President in 2004, but the Governor of a Southwestern state with 21,325,018 people was completely unprepared in 2000.
might...might not...and look what a crap bellybutton job he did of it to
-You agree with Toni Morrison that President Clinton was "the first black President," but didn't criticize Al Sharpton for recently labeling President Bush a "gang leader."
he wasnt...he is
-You believe we could get more truth out of the Pentagon if only Don Rumsfeld were replaced by Mohammed Al-Sahhaf.
its a tie
-You believe evangelical Christians are destroying America but don't feel threatened by the radical Wahabbi sect of Islam.
they are...its so radical those who follow it get what they deserve
-When it comes to violent crime, you believe in hating the crime but loving the criminal.
hate the crime...hang the criminal up by his toes
-You support unlimited appeals for convicted criminals, but believe it is undemocratic for Californians to reverse their earlier mistake of electing Gray Davis.
they dont deserve it, it is democratic...but its expensive to hold an election...and if you screw up you should have to live with it for the correct amount of time
-You believe U.S. exports of genetically modified foods pose a greater threat to African nations than corrupt dictators like Zimbabwe's Mugabe.
its a tie
-You believe welfare is a fundamental human right and workfare is a human rights violation.
it is...its not
-You believe religion is a scourge on our society, but becoming one with Mother Nature by merging with the universal consciousness and harmonizing with lunar reverberations will save us.
there both pretty stupid
-You believe President Bush is an environmental criminal for poisoning the water with arsenic, but have never complained about Saddam Hussein's devastating Iraq and Kuwait's environment by setting intentional oil well fires and committing genocide against the Marsh Arabs by draining their wetlands.
he is...how come no one knew about this until you needed reasons to go into iraq???
-Your car sports the bumper sticker saying that "it will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the military has to hold bake sales," but oppose allowing the U.S. military to volunteer recruitment tables on college campuses because of their "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
split the money 50/50 any government orginization that has enough money left over to spend on making a computer game has to much money
If the above has successfully profiled you, congratulations! You have won a one-way ticket to Paris aboard the massive cruise ship, "The U.S.S.R. Michael Moore." Your ticket will be held at the nearest Dennis Kucinich for President rally. Matricular consular ID cards issued by foreign governments will be gladly accepted as identification.
