your favorite quote

[Maverick]

Aother Patton quote.

Do not take counsel of your fears.

From Heinlien:

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

[Ack-Ack]

"I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." —Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004


"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004


ack-ack

[Chairboy]

I don't know who to attribute this to, but I find it to be a very insightful maxim:

"When your only tool is a hammer, all your problems look like nails."

[Lazerus]

I thought this one might be approptiate for this forum.

QUOTATION:   The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

ATTRIBUTION:   Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910), U.S. author. repr. in What Is Man? Ed. Paul Baender (1973). Christian Science, bk. 1, ch. 5 (1907).

[vorticon]

"diplomacy should always be the first thing tried, if it fails you can still shoot them. if you shoot first, you'll never get a chance to ask questions"

[Lazerus]

Here's another Twain quote just for BD.

QUOTATION:   In the weltering hell of the Moorooroo plain
The Yatala Wangary withers and dies,
And the Worrow Wanilla, demented with pain,
To the Woolgoolga woodlands
Despairingly flies.

ATTRIBUTION:   Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910), U.S. author. “A Sweltering Din Australia,” consisting of Australian place-names, ch. 36, Following the Equator (1897).

[/B]

[Bluedog]

Gotta hand it to the Australian Aboriginals, they really knew how to come up with a name for a place .

[Lazerus]

How can you top Woolgoolga?

I hadn't read any Twain quotes in quite awhile. I'm enjoying running through the hundreds that are out there.

Here's another:

QUOTATION:   [Man] has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights, the one ecstasy that stands first and foremost in the heart of every individual of his race—and ours—sexual intercourse! It is as if a lost and perishing person in a roasting desert should be told by a rescuer he might choose and have all longed for things but one, and he should elect to leave out water!

ATTRIBUTION:   Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910), U.S. author. Satan, in Letters from the Earth, p. 8 (1962).

[/B]

[Lazerus]

And speaking of wool.......

QUOTATION:   To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.

ATTRIBUTION:   Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910), U.S. author. “More Maxims of Mark,” p. 946, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).[/B]

tau·tol·o·gy   Audio pronunciation of "tautology." ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (tô-tl-j)
n. pl. tau·tol·o·gies

   1.
         1. Needless repetition of the same sense in different words; redundancy.
         2. An instance of such repetition.

I had to look it up:D

[wombatt]

This was a classic
Was at my doctors having a mole removed from my buttocks.
the doc has me drop my pants and bend over a table as he was getting the novacain ready.

Then i can't believe what he said next "ok you might feel a little salamander"

LOL I cound not help my self I had to reply don't sell yourself short doc.

I don't think he ever understood what I meant thank God.

[spitfiremkv]

"Let's kick the tires and light the fires"

also makes good preflight checklist

[Lazerus]

I need to stop reading quotes and go to bed, but here's a nice little piece of PC history.

AUTHOR:   Adlai Ewing Stevenson (1900–65)

QUOTATION:   I cannot agree that it should be the declared public policy of Illinois that a cat visiting a neighbor’s yard or crossing the highways is a public nuisance. It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted roaming. Many live with their owners in apartments or other restricted premises, and I doubt if we want to make their every brief foray an opportunity for a small game hunt by zealous citizens—with traps or otherwise. I am afraid this Bill could only create discord, recrimination and enmity. Also consider the owner’s dilemma: To escort a cat abroad on a leash is against the nature of the cat, and to permit it to venture forth for exercise unattended into a night of new dangers is against the nature of the owner. Moreover, cats perform useful service, particularly in rural areas, in combating rodents—work they necessarily perform alone and without regard for property lines.

  We are all interested in protecting certain varieties of birds. That cats destroy some birds, I well know, but I believe this legislation would further but little the worthy cause to which its proponents give such unselfish effort. The problem of cat versus bird is as old as time. If we attempt to resolve it by legislation who knows but what we may be called upon to take sides as well in the age old problems of dog versus cat, bird versus bird, or even bird versus worm. In my opinion, the State of Illinois and its local governing bodies already have enough to do without trying to control feline delinquency.

ATTRIBUTION:   ADLAI E. STEVENSON, governor of Illinois, veto message, April 23, 1949.—The Papers of Adlai E. Stevenson, ed. Walter Johnson, vol. 3, pp. 73–74 (1973).

  This was one of Stevenson’s first veto messages. “A small but devoted group of bird-lovers were able to have a bill introduced in the legislature designed to protect birds by restraining cats. In previous years it was passed by one house, only to be turned down by the other. In 1949 it passed both houses and the decision was finally shifted to the Governor. Stevenson’s message returning the measure became known as the ‘Cat Bill Veto’ and received widespread publicity, because of its wit and good humor. On April 27, 1949, the Chicago Daily News stated, Many Adlaiphiles immediately proclaimed it one of the noble pronouncements of our time, comparable to the boldest state documents from the pen of F.D.R. or Winston Churchill…. Mr. Stevenson did no *****footing on *****’s perambulations. He did not seek to make a cat’s paw out of the Supreme Court by citing decisions of dubious relevancy. He categorically assumed full responsibility for his momentous decision. He did not assert that the bill’s effort to restrict felines to lives of sedentary domesticity was a violation of the Constitution. He invoked a higher law—the law of Nature’” (pp. 72–73).

[indy007]

"A day without killin' is like a day without sunshine."

[Suave]

"Ever notice that women who are against abortion are chicks that you wouldn't want to **** in the first place? ... There's such balance in nature."

"The following statement is true. The preceding statement was false."

G. Carlin

"I tell ya I'm so ugly. I went to the proctologist and he stuck his finger in my mouth."

R. Dangerfield

[Suave]

But the quote of the millenium would be "The eagle has landed."

As to the millenium before that, I'm not sure.