EVIL Minds only, Please.....

[Toof]

While I do support the idea of screwing with this guy, I'm going to err on the side Oneway is taking. Hurt this guy and it's gonna cost waaaaaaay more than a few good cigars. That noted....What's this waste of oxygen doing while you're not at home....he's apparently got allllll day to plan something out. As oneway said, I'd take the route of least resistance. I'm only 27, and still enjoy getting myself into a spot or three. But in this particular scenario, I think the advice to tape him doing it and turning it into the PD is wise. My evil side says stuff a M-80+ in just past the visible point...but that's the evil side. The sensible side says don't resort to something potentially harmful to said dude (loaded parents, unless they just flat out gave up, could be a problem).

The "readymace" motion activated device someone suggested could turn bad as well. Sure it's the middle of the night, but what if the wifey has to go outside for some random reason....It'll nail her the same as it would him....House catches fire...the neighbor trying to wake you up (even if you were already) will be getting a nasty surprise.

I'm all for getting even, it can be quite entertaining. But wealthy parents of a dumb as dirt kid can be more problem than you probably want to get into.

It's all fun and games until you hit 18, then they toss you in with people you'd rather not associate with.

Do what you want, and if you go the dirty route, by all means video it and share it. I'm in a castle doctrine state, someone comes rooting around the yard after the sun goes down, will be met with a .45. Not gonna shoot them for being on my lawn, but they better realize that they should be moving on. Now if they want to go all crazy (especially with my girl around) then we have a whole new ballgame.

In short. This waste of oxygen isn't causing you -that- much grief. I'd be pissed if some homeless guy decided to clean out my ashtray, but thankful for him cleaning it out. How bout just taking your un-smoked portion in the house?

Path of least resistance. Wealthy parents, stupid kid, not a good scenario to implicate yourself in. I'm with the tape it and turn it in crowd. Not like you can shoot him for ganking your cigars...unless you're in Texas...then it might be different.  In short, have fun with it if your local laws allow. Elsewise, get the cops involved. And if that doesn't work, well, skys the limit, just be ready for whatever this guy might have on his mind while you're at work, especially if a wife and kids are left at home.

[oneway]

While I do support the idea of screwing with this guy, I'm going to err on the side Oneway is taking. Hurt this guy and it's gonna cost waaaaaaay more than a few good cigars. That noted....What's this waste of oxygen doing while you're not at home....he's apparently got allllll day to plan something out. As oneway said, I'd take the route of least resistance. I'm only 27, and still enjoy getting myself into a spot or three. But in this particular scenario, I think the advice to tape him doing it and turning it into the PD is wise. My evil side says stuff a M-80+ in just past the visible point...but that's the evil side. The sensible side says don't resort to something potentially harmful to said dude (loaded parents, unless they just flat out gave up, could be a problem).

The "readymace" motion activated device someone suggested could turn bad as well. Sure it's the middle of the night, but what if the wifey has to go outside for some random reason....It'll nail her the same as it would him....House catches fire...the neighbor trying to wake you up (even if you were already) will be getting a nasty surprise.

I'm all for getting even, it can be quite entertaining. But wealthy parents of a dumb as dirt kid can be more problem than you probably want to get into.

It's all fun and games until you hit 18, then they toss you in with people you'd rather not associate with.

Do what you want, and if you go the dirty route, by all means video it and share it. I'm in a castle doctrine state, someone comes rooting around the yard after the sun goes down, will be met with a .45. Not gonna shoot them for being on my lawn, but they better realize that they should be moving on. Now if they want to go all crazy (especially with my girl around) then we have a whole new ballgame.

In short. This waste of oxygen isn't causing you -that- much grief. I'd be pissed if some homeless guy decided to clean out my ashtray, but thankful for him cleaning it out. How bout just taking your un-smoked portion in the house?

Path of least resistance. Wealthy parents, stupid kid, not a good scenario to implicate yourself in. I'm with the tape it and turn it in crowd. Not like you can shoot him for ganking your cigars...unless you're in Texas...then it might be different.  In short, have fun with it if your local laws allow. Elsewise, get the cops involved. And if that doesn't work, well, skys the limit, just be ready for whatever this guy might have on his mind while you're at work, especially if a wife and kids are left at home.

A second voice of reason....

We are now down to 99.8% of advice that should be summarily be dispensed with on grounds of common sense... ( Toof )

Now that we have dispensed with the childish fecal/urine, capsaicin and herbal hallucinogenic cigar dipping remedies...lets get down to Business..

The next challenge and question is how do we screw with this guy and preserve the OP's interests financially and legally...in other words how do we hose this scumbag punk and not expose our client (the OP) to financial/legal problems ?

Think outside of the box...but not impetuously...rather with cunning and 'craft work'....think like a deep CIA NOC....

That is the riddle...and in fact what the OP needs...

Find a way to screw this punk and protect the OP...

Personally this requires some leg work...you need to get inside of the perps head...what matters to him...who matters to him...I would not let on that we are hep to his trespassing Cigar theft field trips...I would disingenuously get inside of his head by befriending him...understanding him...finding a weakness...a vulnerability...then I would execute and leverage his weakness or vulnerability..and make sure it was devastating...I would go straight for the jugular at that point...

Make it a life altering experience for the perp and fascinating conquest of the typical weakness of humans...

Muahahhaha

 

The funny part is when you spring the trap...he comes to you thinking your his friend....and the truly sadistic (Pros)  use this as a twisted foothold to salt the slivers driven under the 'victims' finger nails...

 

You see I can be evil as hell...and have been frequently...but it is not the loose cannon on deck that wins..its surgical...anonymous...and devastating....and it leaves no bread crumbs...you simply stand back after the fact and enjoy the theater of personal destruction....

Muahahha

Of course this punk is simply stealing used cigars from his neighbors porch...try to keep things in perspective...is it worth it?

If you hired me to deal with this he would hate his life for a time...and he would still think you were his friend....shooting fish in a barrel

[Toof]

A second voice of reason....

We are now down to 99.8% of advice that should be summarily be dispensed with on grounds of common sense... ( Noof )

Now that we have dispensed with the childish fecal/urine, capsaicin and herbal hallucinogenic cigar dipping remedies...lets get down to Business..

The next challenge and question is how do we screw with this guy and preserve the OP's interests financially and legally...in other words how do we hose this scumbag punk and not expose our client (the OP) to financial/legal problems ?

Think outside of the box...but not impetuously...rather with cunning and 'craft work'....think like a deep CIA NOC....

That is the riddle...and in fact what the OP needs...

Find a way to screw this punk and protect the OP...

Personally this requires some leg work...you need to get inside of his head...what matters to him...who matters to him...I would not let on that we are hep to his trespassing Cigar theft field trips...I would disingenuously get inside of his head by befriending him...understanding him...finding a weakness...a vulnerability...then I would execute and leverage his weakness or vulnerability..and make sure it was devastating...I would go straight for the jugular at that point...

Make it a life altering experience for the perp and fascinating conquest of the typical weakness of humans...

Muahahhaha

 

The funny part is when you spring the trap...he comes to you thinking your his friend....and the truly sadistic (Pros)  use this as a twisted foothold to salt the slivers driven under the 'victims' finger nails...

 

You see I can be evil as hell...and have been frequently...but it is not the loose cannon on deck that wins..its surgical...anonymous...and devastating....and it leaves no bread crumbs...you simply stand back after the fact and enjoy the theater of personal destruction....

Muahahha

I like this guy.

Screwing with this kid and getting off scott free isn't gonna be easy. Video it and show his parents. If that does no good. Then play with him without causing harm.. Or hell, pretty sure you can most likely do whatever you want to the cigars as long as it doesn't cause bodily harm.

[oneway]

The OP at this point should firmly realize that he should stand down to the extent that he sets the trap again, rolls a tape, calmly confronts the individual, offers an olive branch...and in the event that fails contacts law enforcement...

This is not the time or opportunity to act like an idiot and lace a cigar with bio-waste or chemicals...

Do the right thing...and if you do the wrong thing DO NOT POST IT HERE

Do not step across the looking glass...its ugly, expensive and the learning curve is painful....

Out

Oneway

The punk is stealing cigar butts...stay focused

[hlbly]

Zeta please tell me what state you live in .  Oneway I don't think you are getting what I am saying . Where I live unless you specifically post it with a NO Trespassing sign .There is no crime . Imagine every girl scout with cookies , school kid with candy bars , up on tresspassing charges for opening your gate and knocking on your door . Second an ashtray is a place to dispose of refuse . Try to bust someone for taking your garbage , because that's all it will be considered . Odds are , the cop will tell him to take it to civil court or post his gate no trespassing . As explained by Zeta there is no criminal act . Oneway you had me feeling a little chagrined until the banging his old lady comment . Wow . Take the high road when it is something like the little crap head sneaking in and grabbin smokes . Then do the childish ,but funny as heII stuff when your old lady betrays you ????? .No you have them reversed badly . I guarantee smoking a dead fly or a booger or anything I have mentioned will not injure this putz .Well except for his pride . Your scenario for zeta losing his house t the punk through civil action over looks one crucial thing . He must convince a jury . The kid took stuff out of a trash receptacle then ingested it . What degree  of safety can he reasonably expect ? Just like when the police get into a garbage can to look for evidence , there is no crime being committed there is no right to privacy in regards to the contents in the can either . As for the seed of revenge , the kid has no balls . If he did he would just go up when zeta is outside and panhandle one .

[fbWldcat]

The kid took stuff out of a trash receptacle then ingested it. What degree of safety can he reasonably expect?

I wouldn't give the kid feces or anything like a biohazardous liquid or matter. All I was saying is a small does (not even a drop) of capsaicin oil. It will cause a burning sensation, non-lethal. Maybe Zeta likes a spicy cig now, you know. I don't find it excessively childish. But on the grounds of what Hlbly is saying, how can the kid expect a fine and dandy cig just waiting for him without expecting the owner to have done something with it. Afterall, he is the one stealing a cigar. In the area that I live, the cops are one thing, but that is the problem, they are ONE thing. Sometimes you need to get back at someone, but have it be a practical joke of sorts. nothing that could give someone typhoid or E-coli or herpes or God knows what. All I am saying is that sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands. I'm all for calling the cops and reporting it, but how long would it take for him to want his free cigar again?

I'm also curious as to why a rich kid would go stealing used cigars from his neighbor when he could just drive his fancy car to the gas station and buy some himself. It just doesn't make any sense.

Maybe leave a note by the ashtray "Go buy your own, you have the money."

Also, Hlbly, just a hunch, but I think he might live around Tampa Bay, FL. I don't know if he is just a Bucs fan or if he actually lives in Florida though.

[ozrocker]

Video tape it and show the cops. Trespassing and theft, a night in the cells is the best deterant.

Exactly!!!

       <S> Oz

[allaire]

One reason I also suggested putting the pull string alarms on the gate.  When the little turd opens it he will trigger a nice 85dB bang.  Doesn't hurt anything but usually will scare the crap out of someone who is trying to remain quiet and isn't expecting it.  Probably 2 or 3 on the gate should get the point across as long as open the door and tell him that the next time you catch him on your property you will press charges.  Then post a no trespassing sign.

[fbWldcat]

One reason I also suggested putting the pull string alarms on the gate.  When the little turd opens it he will trigger a nice 85dB bang.  Doesn't hurt anything but usually will scare the crap out of someone who is trying to remain quiet and isn't expecting it.  Probably 2 or 3 on the gate should get the point across as long as open the door and tell him that the next time you catch him on you property you will press charges.  Then post a no trespassing sign.

I like this one too.
 

[mechanic]

Maybe he is madly in love with you Zeta, he may well have a lock box with his shrine to you concealed within slowly collecting things you have touched. Perhaps you should try letting him down gently.

[druski85]

Ya...tape will help....but not if your a complete idiot...


Give the punk a cigar and tell him to stay off your property....tape it...drop the tape off at the local PD and stand down....go fishing...do something else...

Oneway

Apparently you missed my first line, but that is what I meant.  Tape him stealing it, you saying "stay away" and if necessary, him not staying away.  That's all I meant. 

[uptown]

One word: pitbull

German Shepherd is why I never have these kinds of problems 

[ZetaNine]

hlbly- I live in Florida and the gun laws here, which are very liberal.....prohibit individuals firing at people in your yard or porch, even in the commission of a crime......unless.......... unless and until...they are placing you, or your families' life in direct and specific danger.

[ZetaNine]

Maybe he is madly in love with you Zeta, he may well have a lock box with his shrine to you concealed within slowly collecting things you have touched. Perhaps you should try letting him down gently.

Mrs. Zeta said this to me last night... it was creepy to hear..and even more creepy to read.  If anything else goes missing..like the ashtray..or gardening tools...you may be onto sumthin' 

[allaire]

Your drawers off the clothesline cause you know us'uns down here in the south don't no nothing bout no fancy clothes dryer.