Tacview is nice to figure out what happened, but I use it less and less as I gain experience.
One item I find indispensable is Vaicom Pro. It pretty much eliminates having to use menus by making everything voice activated. For instance, in the A-4 start up you just ask the crew chief to apply power and then disconnect. This is very useful when air to air refueling or landing on the carrier, as you do not have to take your hand off the HOTAS to deal with menus. It also makes the flying more immersive.
Additionally, the kneeboard function automatically writes down communications. This is very useful when the carrier is giving you initial check in information or when getting targeting info from JTAC. The kneeboards also have a list of voice commands watermarked for the different assets (tanker, wingmen, ATC).
Vaicom is free, but it does require VoiceAttack which cost $10. VoiceAttack also works very well in AH (I use it to switch gunner positions in buffs while in VR).
Here is a YouTube on Vaicom. It is long, but tells you everything you need to install and setup.
Glad you are having fun Banshee. It only gets more so as you learn.