Hey! I think his threat got hijacked somewhere along the way.
Beautifully understated.
Short answer to your original question is yes, what you described, except for one thing, is pretty realistic so I would expect it to be the experience across multiple sims more or less. The one thing that doesn't seem right is "every SAM within 50 miles shoots at me above 200' AGL". 50 miles is a LONG range for SAMs. There are a few that can shoot that far but not many and if you got that close to one that can then you really messed up.
Radar Warning Receivers have always been difficult to build because signal strength isn't a reliable way to tell how close the threat is. It can give you a general idea but most of the time when something appears on an RWR it's shown as a high threat or a low threat or something similar to that, not really a distance. The Russian jets from ED's Flaming Cliffs would show the signal strength according to how close the emitter actually was just because they couldn't really make it to be how it actually works in real life which is all heavily classified stuff.
Everyone being on the deck is pretty par for the course once decent radar and high aspect (able to track head on) missiles come into play. Surviving those engagements normally requires a team working together but of course you're playing a multiplayer game so that never happens

Instead folks just try to catch each other off guard down in the valleys.
Early radars were absolute garbage and were mostly used to find bombers from below them in low visibility after being vectored to them from a ground radar. You couldn't even point them down because the ground would wash them out.
IFF is a whole 'nother can of classified, though Falcon BMS has implemented a pretty good approximation of how it works. Early on though it didn't exist, you just had to have an idea of where you friendlies are (and what they looked like of course) before you went into the mix. And even after we got more modern IFF systems our own rules of engagement required a positive visual ID before shooting for a very long time because there were many opportunities to get it confused or for friendlies to not have updated codes and stuff like that.