Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: ZetaNine on June 24, 2010, 06:29:44 PM
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(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2143/2647999005_c25e060c84.jpg)
I have a problem.
We'll it's not really a problem anymore, since I solved it. It's more my appeal for you to come up with some evil ideas on how to "get even or get back" at my problem.
I, like many other men, enjoy a good cigar from time to time. Alternately, I also enjoy a bad cigar, in the form of what they call "Black & Mild" cigars. I usually smoke a nice quality cigar twice a week, but I always enjoy puffing on a Black & Mild cigar, on my front porch, right before I go to bed, when the world is quiet, and I can just sit there and contemplate life.
At this point I should tell you, I only take a few puffs of these. They look more like cigarettes that cigars, and although I never inhale them, they do relax me. Typically, I'll simply put out my cigar, place it in the ashtray, and re light it the next morning or afternoon, since there is almost always a full cigar there.
This is where things get interesting.
In the last four weeks, I've noticed birds must be stealing my cigars from the ashtray. Both whole cigars, as well as ones that are quite literally "smoked down" to the plastic filter. I figured the birds were building nests with them. Then I got to thinking, "wow, those birds sure are stealing a a lot of cigars, and holy crap they sure take a long time to build a nest".
Then it hit me.
I have a pattern. I usually always go out on the porch around midnight, have my cigar, then out of habit, turn off the porch light, and click the car remotes so the lights blink, so I know the cars are locked.
I started to think, this may be my "tell", and some neighbor kids are stealing my cigars. Now, considering these are pre-smoked cigars, the idea of some dude putting his lips on a cigar that I already had in my mouth, made me want to puke, as I'm sure it makes you want to puke, just reading that. Be that as it may, I decided to go through my normal nightly routine last night, and see if the culprit may show up after the light flick thing.
At this point, I should also tell you, my front porch is more like a walled off gated courtyard, but with a roof. The gate closes and opens with a pull down switch. So technically, it's not just kids walking onto my porch. They are opening a gate and walking into a walled-off court yard.
Last night the trap was set. I did my thing, and feigned that I went to bed after all the clicks of car and porch lights. There I sat a brand new cigar, in the ashtray, just waiting for whoever it was, to come and grab it. I was behind the front door, looking out the peep hole, which offers me a most excellent arch view of gate, chair, table, and ashtray. I had one hand on the porch light, and one hand on the front doorknob, ready to pounce on my young punk victims, and scare the bejeebers out of them.
And then it happened. The unmistakable "click" of the gate unlocking. There I saw a silhouette. He came in, almost tip toeing. He walked over to the ashtray, then looked around, then grabbed the cigar, looked around a again, and slowly walked to the open gate, and ever so slightly closed it.
I was in shock. When I saw who it was, I immediately knew jumping out was not a good plan. This deserved more thoughtfulness, and thus my appeal to you people.
The cigar thief is no child. He's my next door neighbors son, who lives with his parents, and he's 22 years old. The kid is a bum who doesn't even work. His parents are loaded and they pay all his bills, and he drives a very pricey car. he's also about 250 lbs, and about 5'-5. A punk in every sense of the word.
I want to do something really creative. I've thought about everything from planting another cigar, but with a sparkler in it, to shooting him dead upon entry to my courtyard. I think I'd like something in the middle of those two options.
Your help is appreciated, and your plan may be implemented.
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Lock the door.
If you shoot him, the fact you posted this changes the charge to premeditated something-or-other ( depending on if you kill him ).
Another option would be to tie the cigar to a pull-pin siren/alarm. Would probably scare 170lbs worth of stuff out of him.. Have a hose handy to wash down the porch.
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Treat the drawing end of a new cigar with thishttp://www.hotsauceworld.com/357maddoghot.html (http://www.hotsauceworld.com/357maddoghot.html) and precut the smoking end so the idiot doesn't get confused. Either that or install a maglock on you gate that you can power from inside that house and call the cops for a possible home invasion.
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Hmm.. what do you think would his parents say if you would show them a vid of their boy entering your porch and stealing cigars late at night?
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Leave a note that says "To the Cigar Thief" next to the Ashtray. Possibly tie a string to it and the Cigar.
In the note, and word it so it "seems" you don't know who is stealing the cigar, say that you have known for a while now that they have been stealing your stogies and for the past week have been rubbing your dogs feces (or your own) on the cigar. Make sure to add "have you not noticed it tasted different"? in the note.
This would be purely psychological as opposed to adding something to the cigar that he could possibly have a harmful reaction to.
(i.e. hot sauce, laxative, etc)
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Video tape it and show the cops. Trespassing and theft, a night in the cells is the best deterant.
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Take out some of the tobacco, put in a couple grains of Blackpowder,then replace the tobacco :D (not enough to hurt him) I had a co worker at the gunshop i worked at do this to me, talk about a suprise!!! I darn near $&/@ my pants. THe video and the extremely hot, hot sauce are a great idea. Oh how about putting a dog turd in it!! he he he I love this stuff!! :aok
Edit: Darn Lute beat me to the turd idea LOL Great minds sir, Great minds :salute
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Since it doesn't concern him if the cigar has been in your mouth, try some other orifices.
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Alright, what you need to do requires a bit of set up and preparation.
Firstly, start rolling your own. You don't need to smoke the tiny short ones, you should be able to get cigarette papers (rizla's) which are longer than a king size cigarette. Keep this up for about a week, allowing him to steal your now hand rolled smokes instead of the cigars. <EDIT: After reading Babalonian's reply and discovering you can easily re-pack a black&mild you don't need to roll your own afterall, just repack one as described below>
And then....roll yourself a 'special' cigarette with.....well mostly tobacco....but a few other things as well. Like.....oh I dunno, a dead spider in there or some plastic shavings or something. Something that you can put half way down so when he starts smoking it it'll taste absolutely fine.....until suddenly he hits the whatever and starts coughing his bollocks off.
Obviously, putting weed killer in there would be a bad idea, you just wanna make him cough for an hour and turn a funny shade of green, not visit the emergency room.
I do like mbailey's black powder idea but the trouble is, unless you're an expert, there's a danger of putting too much in and blowing the kids lips off. And the trouble with AKH's idea is that he won't know about it and therefore it won't be a deterrant.
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Since it doesn't concern him if the cigar has been in your mouth, try some other orifices.
^.^^ :D :D :D :lol :lol :lol If you make a video of what ever you do PLEASE show us...and the cops if ya wanna.The black powder idea sounds great too.
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I do like mbailey's black powder idea but the trouble is, unless you're an expert, there's a danger of putting too much in and blowing the kids lips off.
AAWWW Man urr no fun. ( your dead right though :D )
Im gonna be thinking of things all night, this thread is great. I picture myself waking up from a sound sleep at 3am and running out here with an evil idea :rofl
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set some speakers hidden somwhere in the porch. have the mp3 player or whatever that's hooked to them have a remote control.
tape some of those cop film ' FREEZE POLICE YOU'RE SURROUNDED!' things.. and edit in a 2nd voice yelling 'THIEF!' somewhere in there.
set speakers to max
set camera to film.
when the thief comes along..film him... right when he grabs the cigar ... let the speakers blow and turn on the lights.
use it as evidence when you confront the parents....
...and submit it to americas funniest home videos and earn yerself a few grand to buy more cigars with. :devil
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Here is another if you don't want to hurt the love muffin. http://budk.com/Gifts-and-Gadgets/Pull-String-Alarms-72-Pack (http://budk.com/Gifts-and-Gadgets/Pull-String-Alarms-72-Pack) Tie these to your gate and the fence or wall or whatever. With luck he will piss himself thinking he is being shot at.
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I'd video tape it once, good n' clean before setting any traps, if for nothing else than just insurance on your part. Then hell ya I'd have fun with it. Got a cat or dog? It's not hard to re-pack a black-n-mild... with a healthy mixture of pet hair in it. Black and milds with that plastic mouth piece can be exploitable too... forget what the term or name is for it, damned if you can find the stuff anymore, but back in the days of drafting before computers we used graphite and sharpened them with these special sharepeners, the result is the closest thing you can get to dryed/powdered ink with an increadibly fine black dust in the sharpenners that would stain any surface it happened to get into contact with almost as good as wet ink... maybe just take the graphite (fake-lead) out of a pencil (nowhere near as potent as the stuff I'm thinking of though) and run it through a really old coffee grinder or just mash it with a hammer on a rock in a bag until it becomes increadibley fine dust. Stuff a good bit of that in the plastic mouthpiece of your black and milds.
I say tape the act before any shinanigans because my experiences with the rich and spoiled is that they tend to run to a lawyer for anything and everything, even a well deserved practical joke played on them at their expence.
My personal recomendation, especialy since he seems to be cautious about doing his clearly wrong deed, we have your girlfriend/wife/roomate play your role (maybe adjust the porch light and have them in your favorite jacket and hat to create a decent silouhete), smoke a little then the lock up routine. We (you and me (6'-5" 290-pounds)) park down the street and wait for him to begin entering your yard, then we pull up like we just got home from the bar and pin him between a porch and a hard-place. Just follow my lead and play along. I don't know what type of neighborhood you live in, but an alternative is that you and a budy do the same thing except instead of pulling up "from the bar" as he walks into your yard you pull up disguesed with a plot to "rob your house" and he gets caught on the porch in the middle... would be KING if you had a buddy who's a police officer to pull up in a squad car with the sirens blazing during "the robbery" as the proverbial icing for your cake.
Too bad he's your neighbor, setting up an elaborate trap for your porch would be great but likely he would notice something up.
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It's not hard to re-pack a black-n-mild... with a healthy mixture of pet hair in it.
Perfect!
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Here's what ya do. Video tape yourself running the cigar all up and down the crack of your arse. Put some kind of identifying mark on the tip for later proof that that is indeed the cigar he smoked.
On the second night leave the tape with a attaching note addressed to him. :cheers:
And another cigar of coarse for him to enjoy while he's viewing the film. :D
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Id mess with the mouthpiece of the black and mild.
Use gorilla glue, make his lips stick to it so it has to be surgically removed.
Or use pure capsaicin oil if you can find it or if your feeling a little kind use Blair's Ultra Death sauce which is about 1.1 million on the scolville scale. He would be crying afterward.
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Since it doesn't concern him if the cigar has been in your mouth, try some other orifices.
+1
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Or use pure capsaicin oil if you can find it or if your feeling a little kind use Blair's Ultra Death sauce which is about 1.1 million on the scolville scale. He would be crying afterward.
You beat me to it. :D
We used to have a bug zapper and every day it would catch at least 3 Jap Beetles. And I'm telling you now..... they smell absolutely revolting when they're frying. Place a couple in some home rolled smokes (branching off of other people's ideas). And the capsaicin oil.... I have seen grown men who chew so much they shouldn't have any feeling left in their jaw, Cry and enter a fetal position after eating a Habanaro, which is NOTHING compared to the Bhut Jolokia pepper. Pure capsaicin would have this punk, which has probably been pampered his entire life, enter the ER out of pure shock to the pain. ( Better idea is put minimal amount of black powder in the cigar as mentioned, but put Jalapeno juice closer to the mouth piece, that way when it goes poof, the juice will get into his eyes and nose, which will have the twerp screaming).
Just ideas. :D
EDIT: P.S. too much capsaicin can cause damage to eyes. Thats why I said Jalapeno. Actually, better yet, use pure oil and have a giant glass of whole milk standing in your window. :rofl
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load up a black an mild with some potent salvia divinorium, its a legal (incense) which is also a very strong hallucinogen that causes alot of people to trip balls so hard they just wish for it to be over. ive seen people running for there lives from animals that dont exist, wouldnt it be funnt to see the neighbor kid doin the same? :devil
that or next time hes out side just yell "whos that?" an give the ol' shotgun a pump
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Couple great ideas here so far. I like the re-pack the blunt thing. But I think I would use salvia instead of pet hair. Also the "try other orifices" thing is great. Now you don't need to self-sodomize per se, but maybe go jogging on a hot humid day and and then wipe all the ball and arse sweat off with it. Take a pic of it hanging between your cheeks and leave it out. The next day, do your routine but instead of leaving a cigar, leave the picture of the one he took the night before.
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Take a pic of it hanging between your cheeks and leave it out. The next day, do your routine but instead of leaving a cigar, leave the picture of the one he took the night before.
"Looking for this?" :rofl
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Gotta love the hot sauce and black powder, but be VERY VERY CAREFUL here. This is where we begin crossing legal limits. But either way, video tape it pure first.
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First off booby traps are illegal.
But I'd take that cigar and coat it with bugspray after filling it with hair off my hiney, whatever you do get it on tape and post it on here.
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Just stick the mouth piece in a fresh dog turd before you go in. Or human turd....leave a note saying "Do you like corn?"
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Buy your friend a pack of his own and put it in his mailbox with a note "I got you your own pack". I'm sure his wife gets the mail. I imagine this will leave enough explaning. :t :devil
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Guys...these ideas are GOLDEN. I really appreciate it.
I go from laughing about this...to actually being downright pissed off as hell. there's an element of feeling violated...after seeing this cat in the act of doing it..that really sickens me.
a few things to add:
I don't think his parents would give a rats arse if I talked to them, or if I called the cops. It seems they gave up on him ages ago..but when all is said and done, I still have to live next door to them. That's why whatever I do to him, should appear as surprise. "holy crap...sorry..I had no idea the cigar bandit who steals from me and trespasses was YOUR son". see? and remember...he's 22. additionally...the video idea is golden. I could easily bait him with a full cigar just to get about 5 different vids in five nights. I also like the idea of seeing what happens for myself. thus the idea of exploding cigars, or poop-tipped cigars...as funny as that is...would rip off my enjoyment if seeing this cat get what he has coming.
I'd like to combine his surprise...with that being caught on vid. If I can pull this off logistically...and I think I can...I have no issue You Tubing this to share with everyone. I want this ****** to burn.
PS........this intrigues me: http://www.defensedevices.com/terminator.html
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Why not just lure him in again, open the door, and politely explain that if he sets foot on your property again uninvited, you will press charges..
At that point hand him a brand new real cigar and ask him to leave...and leave it between you and him...leave his parents out it...
If you want to teach him a lesson...then set an example yourself...treat him the way you wish to be treated...
Forget about all of this silly frat boy prank nonsense...this sort of stuff is nothing more than a pissing contest for degenerates...
Instead....Try acting like a normal mature adult...you might be surprised at the result...
Oneway
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oneway..honestly..I think he would leave... laughing at me. ..and in six months...try to break into my home.
this isn't a guy you can guilt or shame.
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oneway..honestly..I think he would leave... laughing at me. ..and in six months...try to break into my home.
this isn't a guy you can guilt or shame.
I didn't see you reply to the possibility of Capsaicin. 16,000,000 ScU to the face would be magic IMHO.
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oneway..honestly..I think he would leave... laughing at me. ..and in six months...try to break into my home.
Thats fine...let him leave laughing...
If that is indeed the case...then do you really want give this guy a reason to hate you by dipping a cigar in feces or pepper oil?
Think it through...if your concern is indeed warranted (he leaves laughing), then simply go to the local police station after you warned him and gave him a new cigar, and request the Watch Officer dispatch a patrolmen to make contact with the individual...
Your level head and a friendly visit from a patrolmen will end this forever.
There is never a sound or logical reason to escalate a situation with an individual...ever.
Your choice...but I will warn you: If this guy is that unstable and you light a fuse...don't be surprised when the bomb goes off...
Oneway
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lol soak a Cigar in urine let it dry then leave it out, bet he wont come back :devil
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One word: pitbull
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I used to have a guy come over when I was 16 to mooch ....uh bong hits off of me . This guys was a spoiled rich kid and I was moving irrigation pipe split shift 10-12 hours a day . My car wouldn't insure itself or magic any gas into its tank like his did . Well one day I decided I had had enough . I started taking 3-4 rips myself then I would load his . I used dead flies,paper match heads , boogers that were hard crusty on one end with hairs matted in it to see thru slimey juice on the other end . Some fresh lunch scum off my teeth ,pubic hairs , dark orange ear wax . To a small chunck of dog turd . Bodily fluids that will remain nameless ,but he was smokin my children the bastage . With a small amount of weed over the top . I would think of crap that would make me gag thinking about it . Then run with it . I had to be creative about why I smoked mine first then loaded his . No way I was smoking out of it until it was cleaned with the carwash pressure sprayer then through moms dishwasher to be safe .Why end it after one treatment ? You are looking at long term cheap entertainment . Record it all when you feel like he has paid enough, invite him over to watch the movie . I entertained friends for years with it . My new mrs. is watching me write this and alternates between feeling sick and asking me with an evil grin who is this handsomehunk ?
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Thats fine...let him leave laughing...
If that is indeed the case...then do you really want give this guy a reason to hate you by dipping a cigar in feces or pepper oil?
Think it through...if your concern is indeed warranted (he leaves laughing), then simply go to the local police station after you warned him and gave him a new cigar, and request the Watch Officer dispatch a patrolmen to make contact with the individual...
Your level head and a friendly visit from a patrolmen will end this forever.
There is never a sound or logical reason to escalate a situation with an individual...ever.
Your choice...but I will warn you: If this guy is that unstable and you light a fuse...don't be surprised when the bomb goes off...
Oneway
You seem a little unfamiliar with the way things really work . He obviously has a sense of entitlement , or he would not be so brazen . How does the tresspassing law read where you live . A front yard even gated in most places would not qualify for a criminal charge <unless posted>. The value of the cigar would not be enough for a cop to mess with the paperwork . Any LEO's out there ? They would know better then I would . What charges and what penaltys ?
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lol soak a Cigar in urine let it dry then leave it out, bet he wont come back :devil
:rofl :rofl :rofl That's just gross. But, I bet it would work. :D
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You seem a little unfamiliar with the way things really work . He obviously has a sense of entitlement , or he would not be so brazen . How does the tresspassing law read where you live . A front yard even gated in most places would not qualify for a criminal charge <unless posted>. The value of the cigar would not be enough for a cop to mess with the paperwork . Any LEO's out there ? They would know better then I would . What charges and what penaltys ?
I can assure you that after contributing to global warming for 50 years I know how things work...
The majority of college kids and twenty somethings might think it is entertaining to dip cigars in urine, feces or pepper oil...to "teach this guy a lesson"...but that won't teach him a single thing other than to plant a seed of revenge in this guys mind...further it opens the original poster to potential and severe civil litigation...
No....No... No...
Simply confront the individual, explain if he enters your property again you will file charges, offer him a free cigar and ask him to leave...
If he laughs it off and is insolent...simply call the police, report an intruder, explain the circumstances of the intrusion to the officer and the interaction you had...
It really is that simple...
You don't need to wipe cigars in potentially hazardous body fluids or chemicals with the intent to harm...and you do not need to open up an avenue of civil claim for damage by posting a frat boy video on You Tube...
Act and think like an adult who has something to lose...something to protect...the first thing that should be going through the OP's mind is what possible liablity, damage or threat could "I" possibly bring upon myself by choosing a course of action...
Wake up and Grow Up...that's my advice.
Oneway
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Bahh...thats why we live in a vanilla world today, Hollywood making 70 shows into movies and expecting government to take care of all our problems. No balls and no creatvity.
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Bahh...thats why we live in a vanilla world today, Hollywood making 70 shows into movies and expecting government to take care of all our problems. No balls and no creatvity.
There is a time to shoot back....this isn't one of them...
Now if the guy was banging the old lady that is another story...
:aok
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Restuff it with gunpowder or some other mild explosive :D
Give him a looney tunes moment.
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I like Tec's salvia idea. Go the the local smoke shop and pick up some salvia, I guarantee you that he will be freaking out after a few puffs. Salvia has almost no taste so when mixed with tobacco he wont be able to tell the difference. Make sure you get the strong stuff 60x or better.
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Wake up and Grow Up...that's my advice.
Oneway
Oh no, the voice of reason! Run kiddies, run. :bolt:
Make sure any/all interactions are on tape. If the kid is so clueless as to let it continue, you don't want a my word vs his situation, particularly if his parents are loaded/powerful.
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Oh no, the voice of reason! Run kiddies, run. :bolt:
Make sure any/all interactions are on tape. If the kid is so clueless as to let it continue, you don't want a my word vs his situation, particularly if his parents are loaded/powerful.
Ya...tape will help....but not if your a complete idiot...
OP gets video tape of the part he laces the cigar with a hallucinogenic or contaminates it with Coliform bacteria...
That will be a sure help... when the punks rich parents and their lawyer friends go through the motions of financially destroying the OP...and then what ???
This punk will finally move out of his parents house.. and.into the OP's old house as they win every claim under the sun...the irony would be delicious...
Real smart...get tape of doing something completely stupid and reckless and use it as a defense...
Sometimes people amaze me they can even get the spoon in their mouth...
Sigh
Do yourself a favor OP....99.9% of the advice on this thread to you is a recipe for disaster...
Give the punk a cigar and tell him to stay off your property....tape it...drop the tape off at the local PD and stand down....go fishing...do something else...
Oneway
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Wrap the handle of your gate with copper wire, hook it to a simple switch, light him up when he tries to open it. I think marshmallows go good with roasting meat. :banana:
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Caps from a kids capgun! simply cut away most of the paper and insert 2 or 3 little paper caps!
Or if you have a nearby costume/jokeshop they sell a similar device but only 1 is needed,caps are cheaper and easier to find!
:salute
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While I do support the idea of screwing with this guy, I'm going to err on the side Oneway is taking. Hurt this guy and it's gonna cost waaaaaaay more than a few good cigars. That noted....What's this waste of oxygen doing while you're not at home....he's apparently got allllll day to plan something out. As oneway said, I'd take the route of least resistance. I'm only 27, and still enjoy getting myself into a spot or three. But in this particular scenario, I think the advice to tape him doing it and turning it into the PD is wise. My evil side says stuff a M-80+ in just past the visible point...but that's the evil side. The sensible side says don't resort to something potentially harmful to said dude (loaded parents, unless they just flat out gave up, could be a problem).
The "readymace" motion activated device someone suggested could turn bad as well. Sure it's the middle of the night, but what if the wifey has to go outside for some random reason....It'll nail her the same as it would him....House catches fire...the neighbor trying to wake you up (even if you were already) will be getting a nasty surprise.
I'm all for getting even, it can be quite entertaining. But wealthy parents of a dumb as dirt kid can be more problem than you probably want to get into.
It's all fun and games until you hit 18, then they toss you in with people you'd rather not associate with.
Do what you want, and if you go the dirty route, by all means video it and share it. I'm in a castle doctrine state, someone comes rooting around the yard after the sun goes down, will be met with a .45. Not gonna shoot them for being on my lawn, but they better realize that they should be moving on. Now if they want to go all crazy (especially with my girl around) then we have a whole new ballgame.
In short. This waste of oxygen isn't causing you -that- much grief. I'd be pissed if some homeless guy decided to clean out my ashtray, but thankful for him cleaning it out. How bout just taking your un-smoked portion in the house?
Path of least resistance. Wealthy parents, stupid kid, not a good scenario to implicate yourself in. I'm with the tape it and turn it in crowd. Not like you can shoot him for ganking your cigars...unless you're in Texas...then it might be different. In short, have fun with it if your local laws allow. Elsewise, get the cops involved. And if that doesn't work, well, skys the limit, just be ready for whatever this guy might have on his mind while you're at work, especially if a wife and kids are left at home.
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While I do support the idea of screwing with this guy, I'm going to err on the side Oneway is taking. Hurt this guy and it's gonna cost waaaaaaay more than a few good cigars. That noted....What's this waste of oxygen doing while you're not at home....he's apparently got allllll day to plan something out. As oneway said, I'd take the route of least resistance. I'm only 27, and still enjoy getting myself into a spot or three. But in this particular scenario, I think the advice to tape him doing it and turning it into the PD is wise. My evil side says stuff a M-80+ in just past the visible point...but that's the evil side. The sensible side says don't resort to something potentially harmful to said dude (loaded parents, unless they just flat out gave up, could be a problem).
The "readymace" motion activated device someone suggested could turn bad as well. Sure it's the middle of the night, but what if the wifey has to go outside for some random reason....It'll nail her the same as it would him....House catches fire...the neighbor trying to wake you up (even if you were already) will be getting a nasty surprise.
I'm all for getting even, it can be quite entertaining. But wealthy parents of a dumb as dirt kid can be more problem than you probably want to get into.
It's all fun and games until you hit 18, then they toss you in with people you'd rather not associate with.
Do what you want, and if you go the dirty route, by all means video it and share it. I'm in a castle doctrine state, someone comes rooting around the yard after the sun goes down, will be met with a .45. Not gonna shoot them for being on my lawn, but they better realize that they should be moving on. Now if they want to go all crazy (especially with my girl around) then we have a whole new ballgame.
In short. This waste of oxygen isn't causing you -that- much grief. I'd be pissed if some homeless guy decided to clean out my ashtray, but thankful for him cleaning it out. How bout just taking your un-smoked portion in the house?
Path of least resistance. Wealthy parents, stupid kid, not a good scenario to implicate yourself in. I'm with the tape it and turn it in crowd. Not like you can shoot him for ganking your cigars...unless you're in Texas...then it might be different. In short, have fun with it if your local laws allow. Elsewise, get the cops involved. And if that doesn't work, well, skys the limit, just be ready for whatever this guy might have on his mind while you're at work, especially if a wife and kids are left at home.
A second voice of reason....
We are now down to 99.8% of advice that should be summarily be dispensed with on grounds of common sense... ( :salute Toof )
Now that we have dispensed with the childish fecal/urine, capsaicin and herbal hallucinogenic cigar dipping remedies...lets get down to Business..
The next challenge and question is how do we screw with this guy and preserve the OP's interests financially and legally...in other words how do we hose this scumbag punk and not expose our client (the OP) to financial/legal problems ?
Think outside of the box...but not impetuously...rather with cunning and 'craft work'....think like a deep CIA NOC....
That is the riddle...and in fact what the OP needs...
Find a way to screw this punk and protect the OP...
Personally this requires some leg work...you need to get inside of the perps head...what matters to him...who matters to him...I would not let on that we are hep to his trespassing Cigar theft field trips...I would disingenuously get inside of his head by befriending him...understanding him...finding a weakness...a vulnerability...then I would execute and leverage his weakness or vulnerability..and make sure it was devastating...I would go straight for the jugular at that point...
Make it a life altering experience for the perp and fascinating conquest of the typical weakness of humans...
Muahahhaha
:aok
The funny part is when you spring the trap...he comes to you thinking your his friend....and the truly sadistic (Pros) use this as a twisted foothold to salt the slivers driven under the 'victims' finger nails...
:rofl
You see I can be evil as hell...and have been frequently...but it is not the loose cannon on deck that wins..its surgical...anonymous...and devastating....and it leaves no bread crumbs...you simply stand back after the fact and enjoy the theater of personal destruction....
Muahahha
Of course this punk is simply stealing used cigars from his neighbors porch...try to keep things in perspective...is it worth it?
If you hired me to deal with this he would hate his life for a time...and he would still think you were his friend....shooting fish in a barrel
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A second voice of reason....
We are now down to 99.8% of advice that should be summarily be dispensed with on grounds of common sense... ( :salute Noof )
Now that we have dispensed with the childish fecal/urine, capsaicin and herbal hallucinogenic cigar dipping remedies...lets get down to Business..
The next challenge and question is how do we screw with this guy and preserve the OP's interests financially and legally...in other words how do we hose this scumbag punk and not expose our client (the OP) to financial/legal problems ?
Think outside of the box...but not impetuously...rather with cunning and 'craft work'....think like a deep CIA NOC....
That is the riddle...and in fact what the OP needs...
Find a way to screw this punk and protect the OP...
Personally this requires some leg work...you need to get inside of his head...what matters to him...who matters to him...I would not let on that we are hep to his trespassing Cigar theft field trips...I would disingenuously get inside of his head by befriending him...understanding him...finding a weakness...a vulnerability...then I would execute and leverage his weakness or vulnerability..and make sure it was devastating...I would go straight for the jugular at that point...
Make it a life altering experience for the perp and fascinating conquest of the typical weakness of humans...
Muahahhaha
:aok
The funny part is when you spring the trap...he comes to you thinking your his friend....and the truly sadistic (Pros) use this as a twisted foothold to salt the slivers driven under the 'victims' finger nails...
:rofl
You see I can be evil as hell...and have been frequently...but it is not the loose cannon on deck that wins..its surgical...anonymous...and devastating....and it leaves no bread crumbs...you simply stand back after the fact and enjoy the theater of personal destruction....
Muahahha
I like this guy.
Screwing with this kid and getting off scott free isn't gonna be easy. Video it and show his parents. If that does no good. Then play with him without causing harm.. Or hell, pretty sure you can most likely do whatever you want to the cigars as long as it doesn't cause bodily harm.
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The OP at this point should firmly realize that he should stand down to the extent that he sets the trap again, rolls a tape, calmly confronts the individual, offers an olive branch...and in the event that fails contacts law enforcement...
This is not the time or opportunity to act like an idiot and lace a cigar with bio-waste or chemicals...
Do the right thing...and if you do the wrong thing DO NOT POST IT HERE
Do not step across the looking glass...its ugly, expensive and the learning curve is painful....
Out
Oneway
The punk is stealing cigar butts...stay focused
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Zeta please tell me what state you live in . Oneway I don't think you are getting what I am saying . Where I live unless you specifically post it with a NO Trespassing sign .There is no crime . Imagine every girl scout with cookies , school kid with candy bars , up on tresspassing charges for opening your gate and knocking on your door . Second an ashtray is a place to dispose of refuse . Try to bust someone for taking your garbage , because that's all it will be considered . Odds are , the cop will tell him to take it to civil court or post his gate no trespassing . As explained by Zeta there is no criminal act . Oneway you had me feeling a little chagrined until the banging his old lady comment . Wow . Take the high road when it is something like the little crap head sneaking in and grabbin smokes . Then do the childish ,but funny as heII stuff when your old lady betrays you ????? :huh .No you have them reversed badly . I guarantee smoking a dead fly or a booger or anything I have mentioned will not injure this putz .Well except for his pride . Your scenario for zeta losing his house t the punk through civil action over looks one crucial thing . He must convince a jury . The kid took stuff out of a trash receptacle then ingested it . What degree of safety can he reasonably expect ? Just like when the police get into a garbage can to look for evidence , there is no crime being committed there is no right to privacy in regards to the contents in the can either . As for the seed of revenge , the kid has no balls . If he did he would just go up when zeta is outside and panhandle one .
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The kid took stuff out of a trash receptacle then ingested it. What degree of safety can he reasonably expect?
I wouldn't give the kid feces or anything like a biohazardous liquid or matter. All I was saying is a small does (not even a drop) of capsaicin oil. It will cause a burning sensation, non-lethal. Maybe Zeta likes a spicy cig now, you know. I don't find it excessively childish. But on the grounds of what Hlbly is saying, how can the kid expect a fine and dandy cig just waiting for him without expecting the owner to have done something with it. Afterall, he is the one stealing a cigar. In the area that I live, the cops are one thing, but that is the problem, they are ONE thing. Sometimes you need to get back at someone, but have it be a practical joke of sorts. nothing that could give someone typhoid or E-coli or herpes or God knows what. All I am saying is that sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands. I'm all for calling the cops and reporting it, but how long would it take for him to want his free cigar again?
I'm also curious as to why a rich kid would go stealing used cigars from his neighbor when he could just drive his fancy car to the gas station and buy some himself. It just doesn't make any sense.
Maybe leave a note by the ashtray "Go buy your own, you have the money."
Also, Hlbly, just a hunch, but I think he might live around Tampa Bay, FL. I don't know if he is just a Bucs fan or if he actually lives in Florida though.
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Video tape it and show the cops. Trespassing and theft, a night in the cells is the best deterant.
Exactly!!!
<S> Oz
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One reason I also suggested putting the pull string alarms on the gate. When the little turd opens it he will trigger a nice 85dB bang. Doesn't hurt anything but usually will scare the crap out of someone who is trying to remain quiet and isn't expecting it. Probably 2 or 3 on the gate should get the point across as long as open the door and tell him that the next time you catch him on your property you will press charges. Then post a no trespassing sign.
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One reason I also suggested putting the pull string alarms on the gate. When the little turd opens it he will trigger a nice 85dB bang. Doesn't hurt anything but usually will scare the crap out of someone who is trying to remain quiet and isn't expecting it. Probably 2 or 3 on the gate should get the point across as long as open the door and tell him that the next time you catch him on you property you will press charges. Then post a no trespassing sign.
I like this one too.
:aok
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Maybe he is madly in love with you Zeta, he may well have a lock box with his shrine to you concealed within slowly collecting things you have touched. Perhaps you should try letting him down gently.
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Ya...tape will help....but not if your a complete idiot...
Give the punk a cigar and tell him to stay off your property....tape it...drop the tape off at the local PD and stand down....go fishing...do something else...
Oneway
Apparently you missed my first line, but that is what I meant. Tape him stealing it, you saying "stay away" and if necessary, him not staying away. That's all I meant.
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One word: pitbull
German Shepherd is why I never have these kinds of problems :aok
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hlbly- I live in Florida and the gun laws here, which are very liberal.....prohibit individuals firing at people in your yard or porch, even in the commission of a crime......unless.......... unless and until...they are placing you, or your families' life in direct and specific danger.
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Maybe he is madly in love with you Zeta, he may well have a lock box with his shrine to you concealed within slowly collecting things you have touched. Perhaps you should try letting him down gently.
Mrs. Zeta said this to me last night... it was creepy to hear..and even more creepy to read. If anything else goes missing..like the ashtray..or gardening tools...you may be onto sumthin'
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Your drawers off the clothesline cause you know us'uns down here in the south don't no nothing bout no fancy clothes dryer. :rofl
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First off booby traps are illegal.
But I'd take that cigar and coat it with bugspray after filling it with hair off my hiney, whatever you do get it on tape and post it on here.
So is trespassing and theft, and is why I think most of us encourage him to video tape it clean and pure once before any shinanigans... we don't want him to do a trick on the poor guy that might land him in jail, but definetley teach a lesson and then have the tape on hand just to cover his bellybutton incase the cops get called or a lawyer gets involved on behalf of the punk... and on that note, ya might want to avoid the apple sweat given you may have to mildly defend your stance on the issue infront of a peace officer or (if this kid and his family have the money and effort to burn) a judge. The punk might even be breaking and entering given it's an enclosed porch attached to the house, especialy if he does anything other than normal operation of the gate latch or door knob on the gate, but that's an extreme that I doubt would holdup to any attorney worth their beans.
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Guys...these ideas are GOLDEN. I really appreciate it.
I go from laughing about this...to actually being downright pissed off as hell. there's an element of feeling violated...after seeing this cat in the act of doing it..that really sickens me.
a few things to add:
I don't think his parents would give a rats arse if I talked to them, or if I called the cops. It seems they gave up on him ages ago..but when all is said and done, I still have to live next door to them. That's why whatever I do to him, should appear as surprise. "holy crap...sorry..I had no idea the cigar bandit who steals from me and trespasses was YOUR son". see? and remember...he's 22. additionally...the video idea is golden. I could easily bait him with a full cigar just to get about 5 different vids in five nights. I also like the idea of seeing what happens for myself. thus the idea of exploding cigars, or poop-tipped cigars...as funny as that is...would rip off my enjoyment if seeing this cat get what he has coming.
I'd like to combine his surprise...with that being caught on vid. If I can pull this off logistically...and I think I can...I have no issue You Tubing this to share with everyone. I want this ****** to burn.
PS........this intrigues me: http://www.defensedevices.com/terminator.html
Last tip: I doubt he lights up on your porch, so try to figure out where he does light them up so you can be ready to video tape his reaction to the booby trapped stogie being lit up... if desired and possible
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Last tip: I doubt he lights up on your porch, so try to figure out where he does light them up so you can be ready to video tape his reaction to the booby trapped stogie being lit up... if desired and possible
Leave a note saying "You feeling lucky? Go ahead... light up here and now." :D
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Definitely video tape it a few times for proof. I like the hot sauce thing. It may hurt him? Oh sorry Zeta got into the habit of coating his cigars with hot sauce. -Excuse shot down :)
Personally living in CNY up here I'd leave through my back door with a shotgun and when he is opening the gate, come up behind him and cycle the action. Then just ask what he's doing. :)
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Definitely video tape it a few times for proof. I like the hot sauce thing. It may hurt him? Oh sorry Zeta got into the habit of coating his cigars with hot sauce. -Excuse shot down :)
Perhaps he enjoys a certain agonizing burning sensation when he takes a puff. :)
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Perhaps he enjoys a certain agonizing burning sensation when he takes a puff. :)
Exactly. I mean truthfully no one in their right mind would love the hottest hot sauce in the world on their cigar, but it's a good excuse...plus the guy shouldn't be taking them anyway.
If you shoot him, though, it's your word against his...and he doesn't have a word... :)
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I like Tec's salvia idea. Go the the local smoke shop and pick up some salvia, I guarantee you that he will be freaking out after a few puffs. Salvia has almost no taste so when mixed with tobacco he wont be able to tell the difference. Make sure you get the strong stuff 60x or better.
Problem with salvia is that he'd have to hold it in for an extended period of time to get the true effect. Also, there's the off chance that he'd have a major panic attack and do something stupid. A local HS kid did salvia a couple of months ago and promptly went home and shot himself.
Pure capzacin oil would probably put him in the ER.
Bodily fluids could lead to an assault charge.
In all, be VERY careful about what you do to this kid.
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BTW, the "Scare the poo out of him with a shotgun." idea is my personal favorite.
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People of the jury, is it so wrong for me to dip my cigar in Bhut Jolokia juice? I was born and raise on Indian food, and it reminded me of the A-hole burning I often received during childhood from mother's cooking. :rofl
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Couple of things I'd do to end the situation, safely and without confrontation:
1. Reverse your habit of locking the cars via remote. Do it when you first go out, and don't turn off the light right away when you go in, or have it on a timer switch that you can set to turn off at different times. I'd also leave a light on in different rooms near that porch, also on random timers to make it seem someone is still awake.
2. Put a motion detector in your yard that pops on the light and possibly triggers a video recording system.
3. Post a sign on your gate that states your property is being monitored by closed circuit TV.
4. Assuming your fence is high enough to prevent him just easily jumping over, I'd also put the electronic lock on the gate that can be turned on and off by remote or from a switch in the house.
5. Make your habits unpredictable and as difficult as possible for him to discern patterns in and he should be discouraged from coming around.
If none of that works, then I'm all for escalating to the "pranks" like setting up a turd cigar (my maltese leaves them all over the yard :rofl) or capgun caps planted in the cigars. If there's any legal implication, you at least can show all the legal things you attempted before going to the extremes.
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Problem with salvia is that he'd have to hold it in for an extended period of time to get the true effect.
Naaa not with the strong concentrated stuff.
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Another option would be to tie the cigar to a pull-pin siren/alarm. Would probably scare 170lbs worth of stuff out of him.. Have a hose handy to wash down the porch.
If you can get ahold of a flash grenade (or something similar), tie a string to the pin, tie the other end to the cigar. When the punk takes the cigar it goes off 3 seconds later, at which point you jump out, and have a not so kind word with him. Tell him he's gona end up in jail if he keeps that crap up..... and then follow through.
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Naaa not with the strong concentrated stuff.
Please, let's not turn this into a "is it better to hold it in or just exhale it right out" discussion. :noid
A thought crossed my mind here, it might be a felony to drug someone without their permission... pretty dang sure it is, then again you do live in Florida.
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Just buy a megaphone and the next time he steals one, open your front door and yell HEY amazinhunk Quit stealing my cigars! That outta do it.
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Naaa not with the strong concentrated stuff.
Didn't know that. I'm no salvia expert by any means. The mere thought of hallucinating scares the poo out of me, so I've never tried it.
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Just thought of one. Go buy a scorpion. Leave it on the table in it's little plastic cage. Put a fresh cigar in the cage and leave a note saying.... "If you want it THAT bad, be my guest."
He'll get the message, and you get a pet scorpion! It's a win-win.
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Treat the drawing end of a new cigar with thishttp://www.hotsauceworld.com/357maddoghot.html (http://www.hotsauceworld.com/357maddoghot.html) and precut the smoking end so the idiot doesn't get confused. Either that or install a maglock on you gate that you can power from inside that house and call the cops for a possible home invasion.
Yep, Lacing the tip with hot sauce was my first thought.
He's proboby taking them to make bunts. Emptying out the tabacco and filling it with pot.
I LOVE busting the kids chops in stores when I see em buying the things. Couple of weeks ago I was in a store when I saw this kid (early 20s to me is a kid) complaining to the store owner about what he was charging for those cheap cigars. I told him "Yanno your just goingot fill the damn thing up with weed. Papers are alot cheaper and you dont have to smoke the tobacco with it"
He looked at me like I lost my mind then shook his head and said "No"
So I said "Well then dont fluff'n whine about how much they cost"
BTW any Cops here. If you see a young kid (late teens early 20's) smoking a cigar Odds are it aint just a cigar. Not many late teen /early 20 year olds that smoke cigars. Get yourself an easy bust.
Anyone that stupid deserves to get caught
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BTW instead of hot sauce. pick up some parrot food. alot of em come with dried jalapenos Which parrots love.
Crush it down to a fine powder then dampen the tip and sprinkles some on.
BTW either wear gloves when handling them. or thoroughly wash your hands afterwords. I used to have an African gray parrot and made that mistake twice after feeding him. First time I was eating the bottom of a bag of potato chips. Not quite the flavor I was expecting. LOL
Second time I had an itch in the corner of my eye...Not nearly as much fun
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These are too funny...
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Ok here is what I would do.
First, film him in the act a couple of nights. This gives your proof and sets up your AFV winning video along with the video you will send into the local News Station.
Find a police officer you know or one that one of your friends know and bring him into the loop. If you can make a case, ask if you can make a sting operation to catch him. If you don’t have a case, ask if you could at least get their help to teach him a lesson.
Now ill take Babalonian's second plan for use and tweak it.
You will need:
*Three friends, a couple of cops in police cars, a van, multiple cameras and robbers costumes and a baseball bat/fake gun or real one (unloaded) and hammer?
Setup: place the cameras around your property so you can capture multiple views of the act. Have the van sitting right by your house from late afternoon on until the sting but make sure it is out of direct site of your neighbors house so the get-away driver can get to it without being seen. Find out what time he comes at so you know when to start preparing for the sting. An hour before the sting, have the police officer in the patrol car arrive nearby out of sight but in direct site of the van.
The plan:
Get someone to do your routine for you. You and three friends will “Rob” your house while he is on your porch.
One friend will be in the van as the get-away driver sitting waiting. After your neighbor enters your yard, you and your friends will go out and enter behind him acting like your about to rob the place. As soon as you guys start in, the driver will start the van and start creeping up. When he sees you guys, you turn and run and jump in the van and speed off. Mean while when the van starts the police officers also start their cars and follow up. Just as the van leaves your house the cops should turn on the lights and pull up to your house and “arrest” your neighbor. If you want to actually press charges (if you have a case) then they can actually haul him in. If not, then they can just hackle him for a bit then let him go.
Meanwhile, you have the film of all of this, so you make a very good video of it. Send it in to America’s funniest home videos and also to your local news station. Hopefully the news station will run it and make a big deal out of it…
Oh and remember to put it on Youtube and post it here :)
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hrmm....either he reads this board...or he's lost his taste for my cigars. Left a whole one out last night just to keep him interested...it's still sitting there at midnight the next day.
I'm thinking about getting two of those FLIP recorders, because they are small as hell and apparently take 4 hours of video. I have a window that somewhat looks onto the courtyard if I position it right..and a window directly over the gate that I can shoot downward.
The cigar waits..while the master bates.
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hide somewhere in the courtyard, when he comes through the gate yell "ON GUARD" and zap him with a cattle prod.
Or leave a note on the door that your wife wrote looking like a list of things to do
1. Drop of kids at school.
2. Get dog food
3. Buy Jockstrap
4. Get herpes check
5. Blood test to see how rapidly your AIDS is progressing
Honestly, I like the first one more, but either of them would make him not want to come back.
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hide somewhere in the courtyard, when he comes through the gate yell "ON GUARD" and zap him with a cattle prod.
Or leave a note on the door that your wife wrote looking like a list of things to do
1. Drop of kids at school.
2. Get dog food
3. Buy Jockstrap
4. Get herpes check
5. Blood test to see how rapidly your AIDS is progressing
Honestly, I like the first one more, but either of them would make him not want to come back.
Hepatitis A, Mono, Swine Flu, Herpes, HIV, Typhoid. The list goes on and on :D
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hide somewhere in the courtyard, when he comes through the gate yell "ON GUARD" and zap him with a cattle prod.
:aok :lol :aok
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Just put the cigar up your arse and leave it there for him to smoke.
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Next time he does it, spray his bellybutton with mace and say you thought it was an intruder. I'm pretty sure he'll learn his lesson and it's not life threatening. :aok
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Hell, just change your routine, leave the porch light on.
Then buy a boa constricter and a .30-06 :)
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I cant wait and hope the OP posts the results of taking to heart the lame high school pranks posted in this thread...
He is going to be sued six ways to Sunday...
At this stage of the game, it will be fair to laugh out loud when he loses his house...
Go for it...dip the cigar in pepper oil...
I dare you....
Out
Oneway
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Hell, just change your routine, leave the porch light on.
Then buy a boa constricter and a .30-06 :)
Just go out acting like a screaming deranged idiot swinging around a pellet rifle (high powered of course). And ask WHO GOES THERE!?
The kid is on his property anyway, what harm can it do to at least confront him in his own yard? Oneway?
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Provided he doesn't harm the kid, he should be fine as far as legal issues. Oh sure, the kids parents will hate his guts like rat poision, but personally, I wouldn't want the affections of someone who rasies a kid like that.
BRING BACK THE PADDLE!!!!!!
(http://www.ncis.net/woodrage/images/16NH.jpg)
Honesly, its about the only think I can think of that would teach some of these kids. The don't give a damn about grades, or the law, so long as they don't end up in jail. And half of their parents don't care from what I've seen.
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Cigarrette loads...Used to get great laughs,and would scare the you-know-what out of him heck,put in 2..ROFLOL :x
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Umm, still gonna go with the mace in the eyes, non lethal, burns like hell, teaches him a lesson, you don't get in trouble. No one gets hurt, and he knows what's comin' to him if he tries it again. :aok
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(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2143/2647999005_c25e060c84.jpg)
I have a problem.
We'll it's not really a problem anymore, since I solved it. It's more my appeal for you to come up with some evil ideas on how to "get even or get back" at my problem.
I, like many other men, enjoy a good cigar from time to time. Alternately, I also enjoy a bad cigar, in the form of what they call "Black & Mild" cigars. I usually smoke a nice quality cigar twice a week, but I always enjoy puffing on a Black & Mild cigar, on my front porch, right before I go to bed, when the world is quiet, and I can just sit there and contemplate life.
At this point I should tell you, I only take a few puffs of these. They look more like cigarettes that cigars, and although I never inhale them, they do relax me. Typically, I'll simply put out my cigar, place it in the ashtray, and re light it the next morning or afternoon, since there is almost always a full cigar there.
This is where things get interesting.
In the last four weeks, I've noticed birds must be stealing my cigars from the ashtray. Both whole cigars, as well as ones that are quite literally "smoked down" to the plastic filter. I figured the birds were building nests with them. Then I got to thinking, "wow, those birds sure are stealing a a lot of cigars, and holy crap they sure take a long time to build a nest".
Then it hit me.
I have a pattern. I usually always go out on the porch around midnight, have my cigar, then out of habit, turn off the porch light, and click the car remotes so the lights blink, so I know the cars are locked.
I started to think, this may be my "tell", and some neighbor kids are stealing my cigars. Now, considering these are pre-smoked cigars, the idea of some dude putting his lips on a cigar that I already had in my mouth, made me want to puke, as I'm sure it makes you want to puke, just reading that. Be that as it may, I decided to go through my normal nightly routine last night, and see if the culprit may show up after the light flick thing.
At this point, I should also tell you, my front porch is more like a walled off gated courtyard, but with a roof. The gate closes and opens with a pull down switch. So technically, it's not just kids walking onto my porch. They are opening a gate and walking into a walled-off court yard.
Last night the trap was set. I did my thing, and feigned that I went to bed after all the clicks of car and porch lights. There I sat a brand new cigar, in the ashtray, just waiting for whoever it was, to come and grab it. I was behind the front door, looking out the peep hole, which offers me a most excellent arch view of gate, chair, table, and ashtray. I had one hand on the porch light, and one hand on the front doorknob, ready to pounce on my young punk victims, and scare the bejeebers out of them.
And then it happened. The unmistakable "click" of the gate unlocking. There I saw a silhouette. He came in, almost tip toeing. He walked over to the ashtray, then looked around, then grabbed the cigar, looked around a again, and slowly walked to the open gate, and ever so slightly closed it.
I was in shock. When I saw who it was, I immediately knew jumping out was not a good plan. This deserved more thoughtfulness, and thus my appeal to you people.
The cigar thief is no child. He's my next door neighbors son, who lives with his parents, and he's 22 years old. The kid is a bum who doesn't even work. His parents are loaded and they pay all his bills, and he drives a very pricey car. he's also about 250 lbs, and about 5'-5. A punk in every sense of the word.
I want to do something really creative. I've thought about everything from planting another cigar, but with a sparkler in it, to shooting him dead upon entry to my courtyard. I think I'd like something in the middle of those two options.
Your help is appreciated, and your plan may be implemented.
personally, i think cigars are frelling disgusting. that is punishment enough if he's gonna insist on stealing them.
but.......if you wanna screw with something..........this is a fun one i used to do to annoying neighbors.
go to pep boys, and buy a valve core remover. the kind you use to change the core in the valve stems on your tires.
go out to his car, and unscrew the cores about 1/4 of a turn. not enough to leak quickly, or to be heard. it'll take an hour or more for the tire to go down..........but if you do more than one, he'll be getting towed....and it'll drive them batty trying to figure out why they can't find the cause of the air loss in the tires. :devil
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Best thing to do is take a pack of black and milds, and take a piss on everyone of them. Let them dry, and then lay the pack out there. When they neighbor kid smokes them, he gets a nasty suprise. I have done this before, I assure you, that after they smoke one of those they wont be back for more.
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Best thing to do is remove the temptation - stop playing with your cigars and SMOKE them.
Aaaaaaaah, a fine Havana, lovely . . .
:aok
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oneway..honestly..I think he would leave... laughing at me. ..and in six months...try to break into my home.
this isn't a guy you can guilt or shame.
At that point then this becomes a great thing for you IF your state supports this. Hell it might do it already if you could "bait" into picking up a weapon that you left with the cigars.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Doctrine_in_the_United_States#cite_note-1
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If you were in Texas, you could probably just shoot him for being on your property. Wish SC had the gun laws Texas does. We're not too far off, but Texas is where you want to be.
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I have an idea for the OP: Put your cigars on a table or something by the door. Grab one, smoke it till you've had enough, open the door, and put it down.
Lets see what the little bastage stealing your cigars does then. If he comes into your house, sue his ass.
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I have an idea for the OP: Put your cigars on a table or something by the door. Grab one, smoke it till you've had enough, open the door, and put it down.
Lets see what the little bastage stealing your cigars does then. If he comes into your house, sue his ass.
OR shoot him in the ass! BUT make sure you shoot him in the chest first!
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dude, buy some firecrackers <BLACKCAT works well>, sounds mean but, take some cigar tobacco out from 1 cigar about the 3/4s of it, put a firecracker in there, restuff with cigar tobacco and taadaaa, u got the best cigar repellant ever :devil trust me it works, when i was in HS there was too many kids bumming cigs from me so i thought of that, after they tried one, they never did ask for any cigs :aok
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I am not pretending to add anything here, I am just padding my score like the rest of you :rofl. btw how many perk points do we get for each useless post?
semp
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btw how many perk points do we get for each useless post?
semp
Perk points for useless posts is equal to...
Your # of posts divided by the number of people who read them, and for every emoticon you post you get a perk point bonus. :rofl
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Perk points for useless posts is equal to...
Your # of posts divided by the number of people who read them, and for every emoticon you post you get a perk point bonus. :rofl
On this thread you are also entitled to frequent poster points. Thank you for posting with Hitech creations.
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On this thread you are also entitled to frequent poster points. Thank you for posting with Hitech creations.
Hm. How many perks is that post count worth?
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If you put some JWH in it he will not be back or he will be on his way to the ER . It will not kill him but he will think he is dieing , lol . PM me if you need more info . I'm a dirty MF when it come's to stuff like this ..
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still.....nothing.
no sight of him on my porch...all bait cigar butts, full cigars, and even new pack of cigars with shiny lime green bic lighter have failed to attract him.
I didn't even bother rolling Vid last night.
He simply STOPPED....which is now...oddly..pissing me off even more.
The thinking was of course getting some video evidence several times (to show a pattern) before I launch into any devious pay-backs...or at the very least...a ""get in his face and give hime a come-to-Jesus talk"".
There is NO WAY he can see the Flip Video recorder from where it's positioned.
This is very much starting to feel like shark fishing.
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Double post.
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Maybe he or someone he knows reads the boards.
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I have an idea for the OP: Put your cigars on a table or something by the door. Grab one, smoke it till you've had enough, open the door, and put it down.
Lets see what the little bastage stealing your cigars does then. If he comes into your house, sue his ass.
:headscratch:
Huh?
wrongway
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Instead of leaving his cigars outside, leave them on a table, or stand or something of the sort by the door. When he wants to go smoke, pick one up, got outside and smoke it.
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SPies in BBS too?! wth man. maybe end of the month food stamps n assistance will run out have patience. <S>
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Instead of leaving his cigars outside, leave them on a table, or stand or something of the sort by the door. When he wants to go smoke, pick one up, got outside and smoke it.
Ohhhhh.
You meant, "bring your butts inside and there won't be anything to steal."
I read it as, "leave the cigars inside and when the kid comes in your house to steal them, sue him."
wrongway
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You seem a little unfamiliar with the way things really work . He obviously has a sense of entitlement , or he would not be so brazen . How does the tresspassing law read where you live . A front yard even gated in most places would not qualify for a criminal charge <unless posted>. The value of the cigar would not be enough for a cop to mess with the paperwork . Any LEO's out there ? They would know better then I would . What charges and what penaltys ?
This may have been answered. In most states trespassing is an infraction, similar to a traffic citation. Fines and no jail time. However, what he is doing can be considered burglary in some states, depending on how the definition reads in Florida's Revised Statutes (I only know Missouri and Louisiana). I would take whatever evidence you have to your local police department.
Pranks to get even are hilarious, most cops even agree, but....
You risk too much. You may or may not be liable for criminal charges depending on how far you go, but you are always open to civil liability. People can and will sue everyone for everything.
If he starts up again you may be able to work with you local LEO's to catch him in the act. But I would definitely take what you have to your PD and let them handle it because it could become a larger problem. This is not legal advise, since I'm not a lawyer, just a suggestion to let the PD handle it.
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That's the last thing I would do . Don't need no cop's , lol .
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Ohhhhh.
You meant, "bring your butts inside and there won't be anything to steal."
I read it as, "leave the cigars inside and when the kid comes in your house to steal them, sue him."
wrongway
Works either way. He stops getting robbed (of old nasty cigar butts), and if the kid is that desperate, his parents get to pay bail.
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I'm waiting for some story on what happened. Has he really wisened up?
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If you were in Texas, you could probably just shoot him for being on your property. Wish SC had the gun laws Texas does. We're not too far off, but Texas is where you want to be.
It's called 'Criminal Mischief After Dark' you have the right to the use of deadly force on your property and, supposedly, you will not be prosecuted criminally. However, as he has posted it publicly (and no insult intended to the OP) it's obvious that he doesn't, at this time, feel physically threatened. Even were he not prosecuted criminally he could be sued civilly which could cost a fortune.
While I think the idea of buying a mounted rattlesnake and setting up a trip switch to play the sound of one getting ready to strike it's probably best just to notify the local SS and be done with it.
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still.....nothing.
no sight of him on my porch...all bait cigar butts, full cigars, and even new pack of cigars with shiny lime green bic lighter have failed to attract him.
I didn't even bother rolling Vid last night.
He simply STOPPED....which is now...oddly..pissing me off even more.
The thinking was of course getting some video evidence several times (to show a pattern) before I launch into any devious pay-backs...or at the very least...a ""get in his face and give hime a come-to-Jesus talk"".
There is NO WAY he can see the Flip Video recorder from where it's positioned.
This is very much starting to feel like shark fishing.
You might have scared him off, he may have planned on cooling it for a few days anyhow, not to push his luck. If he is a smart kid he will work out that the booty keeps increasing, if he can see your ash tray from his house, or see you plant the booty. One thing you have to remember about criminal behaviour, the bad guys get to plan before the good guys, everytime. Easy for him to stay one step ahead of you as he was plotting against you before you even knew about it. The one card in your hand is if he doesnt realise you've clocked him. If he suspects you know, he wont steal anymore.