Dear Sakai,
Normally, I don't dip into anecdotal evidence in order to prove a point, but my reaction to Sheehan doesn't come from "RNC talking points." I pastor a church literally filled with men who have already done tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, many of whom will end up doing more. We pray for them when they go, and we pray for them when by the grace of God they return home. I have also counseled and grieved with those who have lost their loved ones over there, so I know a little about the "grieving process" for those losing their kids, husbands, or fathers in Iraq and Afghanistan. I've also spoken to young men in the army who have turned against the war, specifically one was a young sergeant and the other a very young pfc, both of whom were profoundly influenced by Farenheit 9/11 and saw their own service in Iraq through that lens. Both of them showed their disgust by choosing not to re-up. It is also possible to decline service in Iraq, although it will adversely affect one's career. So no one has to go to Iraq, no one, its a voluntary decision each of those soldiers makes and incidentally, and I reinforce this in my own preaching and teaching, no soldier should fight in a war he is sure sinful. "I was only following orders" holds no water at all.
My congregation is mostly composed of first generation Christians, so in many cases their beliefs are 180 degrees removed from those of their parents. In more than one case their parents are opposed to their religion, to their serving in their military, to their politics, to theie child-rearing practices, and so on. In one case, I remember shaking the hand of a visiting father at the end of the service even as he was launching into a railing diatribe against conservatives, Bush, the war, corporations and so on. His son, is literally the antithesis of his father.
I say all that to make the following points. Thankfully, this is not the way most or even "many" family members grieve, its not even healthy. She has channeled her grief into a passionate hatred for an individual. Already that hate is destroying her life - her kids have begged her "come home, we need you here," her husband has filed for divorce, and she has become estranged from most of her other relatives. Meanwhile the "compassionate" left is encouraging her to continue on a course that serves their ends but at the cost of her family and her life. In a sense, its like when the IRA encouraged men to go on hunger strikes till they died "for the movement" saying it was for their families, when in the end all the families gained was more death and misery. She will end up far more twisted, hate-consumed and desperately unhappy at the end of this than when she began, and I say that with a great deal of pity, not as a neo-con but as a Pastor who would be saying it if the conflict had been Somalia and she had been camping outside of Clinton's residence.
I pulled up the other day behind a car with a back window logo "In memory of Ernesto Blanco, Iraq, 12/28/2003" I don't normally weep at stoplights, but Ernie was in my Bible Study, he was an upstanding officer and a man so profoundly loved that one of his men had put his name on the back of his tricked out Civic. Those men were honoring the memory of a man who would have done anything for his guys and did. Now how do you think it would have made them feel, who remember Ernie and the man that he was - his ideals and his courage, if his mother had begun this roadside vigil? That's not for him, that's for her, they would have concluded. She is actually "disrespecting" him and his memory is what they would conclude.
And Sakai, please believe me, most of them see this as aimed at them, aimed at everything they are trying to do. Most of them don't particularly enjoy the war, or Iraq, or all of the messes that exist over there, but with a couple of exceptions, every one I have talked to is appalled at the idea that we would be willing to squander their sacrifices and those of their buddies and run away at this point. They also can't understand why nothing good they do over there gets reported, and they and their families are actually more HURT than HELPED by spectacles like Sheehans, and don't tell me that's baloney, because thats what they've TOLD ME.
So please, don't play the "this is not politics its grieving and compassion" game because I live in the midst of the world that really does grieve over the names that get reported from Iraq and Afghanistan and Sheehan's kind of "grieving" is neither good, nor normal, nor healthy.
- SEAGOON
